Posted by
selda
18 yrs ago
I know i know, you will think it's a pretty juvenile question....but hey, it's Monday morning...and boredom plays these tricks!
Probably not a real problem in great scheme of things, but i haven't had a crush for two years, and i start to wonder if it's a sign of aging and if so - is there a cure (hopefully safer and less painful than botox)?
I used to have crushes on men i barely knew, and it was a great feeling, it really made me feel alive, a burning desire to have someone...and even if it usually petered out after a few weeks, man, those weeks were so intense i could smell flowers, feel my body vibrate, i didn't hear celestial music, but almost, and the daydreaming usually resulted in bouts of creativity.
Even when i was in a serious relationship i would occasionally have a crush on another man, which i stopped before it led to an affair, but was nevertheless a powerful feeling.
The silly question is, when you haven't had a crush for two years, what do you do? I really miss that feeling!
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Crush is also happened before 40 and even 30! Just depends upon how to manage when it comes...I'm not more into but if feel comfortable, I never resist being a man...
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clan
18 yrs ago
Definitely! As powerful and unpredictable as if you were 16!
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gwern
18 yrs ago
HKBlue....how about nothing at all....?
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I spoke to my gp abt my lack of interest and libido and he said "trust me when you meet the right guy, it'll all come flooding back" and it SURE does way way after 40.
It's just harder to find someone in the age group who appeals. It's easier to be alone than to date someone just for datings sake.
I do not find it any harder to find a date now I'm over 40 than I did when I was 18, 28 or 30.
It's just not easy.
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wired
18 yrs ago
And look at all those 70+ old fellas running around with their young girlfriends! I suspect a little 'zing'.
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selda
18 yrs ago
Aijin,
i can relate to the 'dry spell', i too think that it has something to do with discernment and knowing that there is something more. That's the reason why i broke up with my bf a couple of weeks ago. I don't think i ever had a crush on him. We got together because he was the most decent man in my circle of friends, we were both coming out of high drama relationships and wanted something solid, and serious. I hoped i would fall in love with him It didn't happen. 'Serious' became 'boring' rather than fulfilling.
I need a crazy crush to feel alive, not a tamed relationship that looks right on paper, but makes me feel dead inside.
Tidings,
i guess your GP is a very wise person! I never experienced any loss of libido with the right guy. I was in a 5-year long relationship once, and were having sex everyday, till the very end. On the contrary, in my last relationship, i started to regard sex as a chore. The chemistry was never there.
I wonder how many women have sex with their partners while fantasising about other bodies...
My ultimate dream man is Takeshi Kaneshiro, but i can't have a crush on an actor.
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The only crush i get is when the Zimmer frame gives way.
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selda
18 yrs ago
Oh ...i want my 'Z' back...this 'Selda' is too round.
Aijin,
you say "crush"...and here i come, with a crush on someone i never met...but saw pictures of. Spring is in the air and all it takes is a good-looking lad with a sense of humour...who lives in china and is visting at the end of the month. I have already accessorized my little black dress, been to the hairdresser for highlights, and taken out my epilator,,,gosh i had forgotten the pain...in a cosy long-term relationship i hadn't epilated for months, and my ex didn't even notice.
Of course, we all know that virtual object of desire can tun out to be a toad using his best friend's pictures...but i am still thankful for those pictures as it gives plenty of room for my imagination.
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Zelda, just reapply with a small change like Zelda 2 or all lower case or Cap the "Z".
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We need crushes even MORE over 40, just to know we're still alive and ticking! They're not really something you can go looking for though, I think you just sort of stumble over them (with or without the zimmer frames) when you're not looking. On the plus side, you can have as many as you like, they're calorie-free and it makes for great dreams. On the down side, they can sneak up on you unawares, in a dream-state and create nightmares like the dream I had last week when I cheated on my husband with Borat!! I'll never live it down :-(
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I would say , especially at the age of 40 , ones crushes are even stronger and frequent. I feel like i am permanently on spanish fly since i hit the age of 40. Im having to supress the crushes ...lol ... gimme some choclate now!!
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What I hate is when I have a crush on someone taken. Even if we don't act on it, it sure would be better if he were available when it happens !
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selda
17 yrs ago
24/05/07...Crush report. I can testify it can hit you any time! Major symptoms: feeling extremely high and light (cloud 9 feels very soft indeed!) , inability to eat, sleep and focus on any task. Silly smile on my face, excessive daydreaming ....feeling like a 14 y/o after the first kiss.
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