Posted by
bobomao
17 yrs ago
I hooked up with this 40-year-old English guy two months ago; conversation was good and sex was good and he was quite honest with me and said, "I fancy you enormously but I've got two women waiting for me to propose." I asked, are you going to propose to either of them? He replied, no, coz I don't feel it. But still, he said he's got too much on his plate to start another new relationship but then said he'll be a good lover. I asked, what do you want from me besides sex. He said, good company from time to time.
What the hell is this man thinking? he wants to keep three women at the same time?? he claimed he had told these two girlfriends that he won't propose but "they just didn't take no as a no"...and he said he's just too soft-hearted with women and would't want to see them disappointed. I can see he actually genuinely likes women but still, who does he think he is?? Don Juan??
The thing is I'm quite attracted to him but at the same time I fear for myself if going any further....
Should I just run a mile from him?
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Be with him, get 3 more boyfriends, have tell him exactly what he told you,...is that what you expect? If not, then clear cut.
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This man is too vain for himself, properly he got more girlfriends than he said. How do u know if he got wife and kids back to his home town. He shows no respect to u ATALL. He is telling u that he just want to Fuxk u whenever he want. But u still didnt get it and still attracted to him. What a INCREDIBLE WOMAN u r.....
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If he wants sex and good company from time to time, tell him to go pay for it. This man seems to be incapable of a mature relationship. Find a grown up instead.
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Depands on what you want from him ? If you only want sex , then keep seeing him otherwise leave him now.
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well do you want to wait till you 'catch something' before you run?
He's already put in his 'disclaimer'.
Dont make a fool out of yourself
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yeah i think i was just subconsciously hoping he could change his mind and be done with his two gfs...he does appear to like me a lot and did say many sweet things to me and i believe he actually meant it...or maybe i was just too naive...
my rational self told me this is not going to happen...more complete knowledge of the facts is one of his gfs is in singapore (7 years) and the other is in hk (not sure how long but looks like a year or so)...too heavy a baggage to get over...
btw, thanks for all the replies...
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Someone said this above.
Girls here wonn't let go.
But if pussy is on a plate, most normal guys won't turn it down. That is why affairs happen.
And now you, bobomao, don't want to let go either.
Sure the guy is a bit of a twat, but the world is full of b'stards (and a fiar share of b'tches for that matter).
You know he is a cad and you still go play. Your fault as much as his.
Sorry no sympathy here.
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Due diligence, people.
I wouldn't jump all over that English bloke.
From the post, it is quite possible that that English guy is just into open relationships, and not necessarily cheating on anyone (meaning, it possible that all involved parties have full disclosure). He was, in fact, up front about what his deal was with the original poster. I don't think that he is a bastard (otherwise he would have just done what a million other guys do-- nondisclosure + leading the poor girl with insincere promises etc). That guy sounds totally wishy washy and weak. He just can't get his act together.
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Dear bobo,
The man will not change for you. I know you can't help but to hope or believe it.
You will only hurt yourself and waste your youth on this man ( like the 7 years gf in Singapore) if you go into this.
Fun conversation and sex does not equal love. It is fine if you just want sex and nothing more. But you dont.
So move on.
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He probably thinks he's a sex god and having several women in diff. cities is an enormous ego trip.
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Or... He could just use the "I already have 2 girlfriends" line in order to A) Keep you from looking for more and/or B) Keep you trying really hard (in and out of bed) to be his "only" girlfriend.
The reality probably is that he doesn't have any real girlfriends but just tells Asian women this so they won't want anything more than just sex.
It is amazing how well this line works. I know of at least 2 expats (and a couple locals) that use the same line.
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he does have two girlfriends, and they don't know about each other. he said it's been mentally exhausting because he doesnt want to hurt either of them.
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mjo
17 yrs ago
bs or no, she doesn't want to leave him. wouldn't post here otherwise. despite all the oh-so-yawn!-predictable posts from wimmin, it might just possibly turn out alright.
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Mjo-I'm sure you've got something snazzy and out of the world to write then?
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I did try for the past few weeks not to see him, and I'm still in the middle of the very painful process of getting over a person...
And I'm more puzzled, or troubled, about the fact that apparently everyone I trust and tell about this thing thinks he's an a**hole but I somewhat failed to (probably still cant) see that.
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mjo
17 yrs ago
Did I fail to impress you balzac? My controversial, against-the-grain, even "punchy" post lacked excitement did it?
"Insufficiently snazzy?" indeed - never had that said to me before. Not sure I like it though. Dear me. Dear me.
I'm just interested to know if 40-yr-old is really as bad as described in first post. Because I doubt whether he is as terrible as he sounds you know. More a 'victim' than a 'bastard' sort of thing.
How about that for cool logic?
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mjo
17 yrs ago
Yes, yes, that's solid PM. Not snazzy perhaps but solid.
After the merciless description of the boyfriend, I'm surprised he hasn't already been lynched by a screaming mob and put to death on the spot. We need an update on the latest statements bobamao if you don't mind. What's the latest?
So far it's been Dial-a-Cliche with The GZ Wimmin's Liberation Front, how many miles she needs to run was the only area of disagreement I think.
Mind you, perhaps the answer is in his name:
An anagram of "40-year-old English guy"
is
"Aged 40 Horny Ugly Lies"
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