My husband became a member at a Gold Club a month ago, and what I had found out really depresses me. I had been told that he has became very close to the girl whom had sold him the membership. As being told by my friend whom's husband was also a memeber that the girl took a leisure trip with him alone to Tsing Tao instead of playing golf last month. other weekends, she spent the nights with him in hotels.
I am totally torn by this... I wanted to do something, but don't know where to start? Anyone else whom can share similar experience with me and advise how I can deal with this??? Please help!!!!!
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there are things that you can forigive an forget but a lying husband? i dont think so.....if he is "not there" in the first 5-10mins after youd have called him WHEN your in the same golf club,, somethin is definitely up
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Get your ducks in a row before you confront him. Investigate and get hard evidence. Get your finances sorted. Get some legal advice.
Once you've confronted him, you can decide what you want to do, where you want to go from there. This is not something you want to deal with all on your own, so get some counseling for yourself. Go to www.survivinginfidelity.org - there's a lot of good advice out there, lots of people who have been in your situation and come out the other side and they can help you get thru this.
Good luck.
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Hi Ms. Golfer's-wife,
What I would like to say is that once your husband get involved with the local girls, it is hard for him to get back, there is no such turn back the clock thing in marriage or any relationship I assume. I have seen many of those affairs most of which ended up with the husband gets all benefits by cheating on their wives while leaving two broken hearts domestic and outside. I would admire you absolutely if you have the power and courage to say no to the common results.
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Just to let Len know... maybe it's cos I'm currently in my youth, but nothing more repugnant than a man in his 50's coming on to a bunch of educated 20-somethings, and I know my friends are of the same thought. I mean, they're good to get a couple drinks out of, but that's about it.
Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I think it's easy to confuse the lower ecconomic status girls looking for a sugar daddy as the norm generally around the world. They're not.
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I feel for golfer's wife, yes I am also a member of the same golf club, I was also appoarched initially with such offer, but I am loyal to my wife so I brush them away... Those sales girls are very agressive and they do go beyond to secure sales. But you really can't blame them, I had been told their supervisors coaches them to do that, or they will be fired for not bringing in orders.... It's really a shamed of their management technics???
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gwern
17 yrs ago
I think your heading 'do you think he is there for the golf?' is rhetorical...the answer is obviously a 'no'.
His behaviour is cruel and selfish. I know it is easy for people to tell you to dump him, I've been there myself and I know it's hard. However people here make a lot of sense. Don't put up with this behaviour. You only get one chance at life don't waste it on someone who doesn't deserve it. This is making you unhappy and that will lead to depresssion, if you're not already there. You need to think of it in different ways:
If I speak to him about it what do I want?
1. His promises that he will leave her and the golf club? Then will I be able to resume a normal trusting relationship with him and be 'happy ever after'?
2. If he doesn't end it with her do I stay and put up with it and resume my life wondering what he gets up to.. or do I go?
My personal feeling is if this man does not give up this 'other life' then he neither deserves your love, respect or attention. Don't put yourself in emotional and physical risk by someone who is cheating and isn't really trying to hide it.
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