Posted by
ashleyfnx
18 yrs ago
I have just moved to Guangzhou 2 weeks ago due to my job.. I am starting to feel quite lonely here and I am hoping to find friends or even love here.
I am pretty big sized.. hence i didnt have much luck in relationships previously... I am starting to feel depressed. Is it impossible to find love if a person is fat?!!!!
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I guess I am considered pretty much larger than average.. it doesnt help that I am taller than the average asian gal too.. sigh.. i am about 1.75m tall..
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Sigh.. I have been in disastrous relationships before.. I guess I was too lonely and desperate.. I ended up thinking I will just accept whichever guy that is interested in me.. I guess I was too desperate to find a true relationship...
And as expected, the relationship was disastrous..
Yah I am on a lookout for sport facilities. Pretty unfamiliar with the place yet.. But then I am also wondering, if a guy likes me after i am thinner, can i still know whether he truely likes me?
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Aggie
18 yrs ago
absolutely agreed with kopfan888...ashley, look further, every single one will grow old and they're pretty much the same with a lot of wrinkles on face....what people looking for true love will be their inner part...outlook and appearance can be fake....
What you need to do is finding some interests or hobbies that can mix with the local culture...keep yourself busy and tired enough to flight for the depression first...after all, everything will be alrite....THINK POSITIVE!
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Love yourself first ! The rest will come naturally....
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i am totally disagreed what ur said.i have a friend who is fat.but she is lovely and confident. first,you have to love yourself
i am living in GZ who a native Cantonese,i think that we can make friends together in GZ.
Please allowed me to say hi to you first. i am Grace.
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Thank you Stuart Smalley.
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Wow thanks for all your replies. I am glad that i can at least find some frens online here.
I am also hoping to get to know more people around here, otherwise its getting a little lonely. I guess one problem is I havent gotten an apartment yet, so I cant really socialise with the natives or even foreigners around here.(I am currently staying in a hotel apartment)
I do agree that the most important part is being happy myself and things might brighten up.. I am working on that. Any recommendations of fun activities around here is GZ?
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When you've done fat you never go back:-)Seriously, I've never found weight to be much of an issue for men in Asia and I personally don't really care if my women are fat or thin - within reason - just as long as they're interesting. It's all about attitude. Now if I can just put this donut down....
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for foreigner's living,they were likes to living in Taojin area where the downtown in GZ,near by Huan shi Dong Road.it's main road of GZ. many bar in there also. have you ever been there already?
for sightseeing,i suggest you might go to CHEN JIA CI,the famous on Guangdong style architecture.is localed in ZHONG SHAN BA ROAD,other main Road of GZ.there are a famous shopping street called BEIJING road. normally there is so crowded.but the things is more cheaper than HK.you might try to go shopping there.
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I think go to gym is an good idea. That will help you get your confidence back!
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Keeping positive attitude is very very important, dear~~fat is not bad, it's lovely if you're a lovely person~~
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wait a second, do you have a large body frame or are you really overweight? i mean if you have a large body frame with firm and tone muscles, 5'8", 130lbs, i don't see anything wrong with that! but if you are 5', 130lbs, no muscles to speak of, just body fat hanging everywhere, then we do have an issue here.
if you input more than what you output, the formula is pretty straight forward, the excess input turns into body fat.
food for thought: what is the void you are trying to fill?
because if you are not filled emotionally and spiritually, you may choose to feel filled physically. you need to ask what is empty that you're trying to fill up. we have this idea that we can have chocolate cake as a reward, but the only real reward is inner peace.
i've a number of friends (both male and female) on the heavy side of the weight scale who are happily married or in a fulfilling relationship. and i have lots of girlfriends in their 30s who are very pretty AND have a nice body but in no relationship because they are never happy with themselves in the first place.
only when you are content and fulfilled with yourself, you would become attractive to yourself as well as others. being miserable and whiny is definitely unattractive. attractiveness radiates from within.
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What dimensions? So how do the fat Chinese women manage? I guess some of them are happily married? Don't Chinese men like Western women?
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I am an American and I didn't find rittit's post sarcastic. I think it's mostly true. "Larger" women definitely have more of a chance with Western men. And people in the US are much fatter than people here, so "fat" here can be normal there. What was sarcastic?
Let's face it. There are women here weighing 110 pounds who still pay $15000 and up for slimming treatments. I've known of several women here who slimmed down so much they have had at least one instance where they have fainted from lack of nutrition. All thanks to the Gigi Leung generation and all those unhealthy slimming advertisements.
And -- surprisingly -- that's what the local guys seem to prefer. And even if they don't, many are not independent thinking enough to avoid the "peer pressure" that prohibits them from having a heavyset girlfriend.
I think the HK girls' (and men's) obsession with thinness has reached epidemic proportions. It's a blight on our society.
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Really? Buy any gossip magazine in the US and tell me how many slimming ads there are. Then do the same in HK.
While the "supermodel" thing definitely had an effect, especially since Kate Moss graced our fashion covers, I wouldn't blame that on the US. The designers who started using the "waif" look were all European!
And look at America's singers. It's all about T&A, and has long been so. Look at J Lo and Beyonce! They would get crucified in HK for their proportions, being called "pork chop" and "fei por" left and right.
That's another thing... Hong Kong people call girls "Pork chop" for being 5 pounds heavier than Kelly Chan! It's ruthless here.
Remember the Charlene Choi pics and how people actually caller her "fat"? It's insane here!
I don't know about Korea and Japan, but there is certainly no place in Europe, Australia or America (besides strictly within the supermodel culture) that can even come close to comparing with Hong Kong.
Ironic? I don't think so.
If you want to blame the US for something, there are plenty of legitimate things (warmongering, cutthroat business practices) to put on the table... but being slim is not one of them.
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Hi all, I am a Singaporean.. maybe the culture there is different from Hongkong.. they dont actually call you fat to your face etc.. I guess that makes my life in Singapore much happier.. I can imagine how depressed I would feel if i am staying in hongkong...
Now that I am in Guangzhou, although people here also havent called me fat either, but I do realise that the average lady here is really pretty smaller in size.. haha.. my chances of love might be lower.. but who knows.. haha
But then its still a fact that I haven't had a fantastic relationship in my entire life yet. haha. But thanks to all your comments here, sarcastic or non sarcastic, I do feel that its really important to be happy myself.
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Onefreespirit, I dun agree. who says u need to be slim to be in a good relationship. Yes, perhaps being good looking makes it easier to attract the opposite. and going to the gym probably makes u healthier too.But does it mean the relationship is true just becos the guy likes u for ur looks? Does every gal needs to hit the gym just for the sake of attracting a guy? Be confident! A fantastic character is much more attractive. We are going to grow old anyway. If a man likes u for ur looks, u probably need to go for botox, plastic surgery your entire life to stay good looking.
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Qart
18 yrs ago
Oh.... LOL!
I think i should post a new one: skinny= no relationships?
relationship has nothing to do with ur weight thats for sure... But diet and stuff, i dont think they can ever help, the only thing that helped me to loose my weight when i was overweight was stopped thinking about it, coz the more u think the more u gain..
Well, now i have the same kind of problem, im toooo skinny and want to gain some weight, but the more i think about it.....
Some ppl like the way i look some dont, my friends and family dont..
I hate it too, coz cant wear the clothes i love, looks really funny!
tired of ppl saying im too thin!
hate summer and spring these days coz dont know what to wear to hide my bones.. he he
But the most ppl i meet they dont even note that im skinny unless i myself start complaining about it... so my point here is just forget about what others say or think..being normal is just being yourself... Thats who u r and be happy with it..
After so many years i understood that i have no choice just except the way i am...
And it works.. LOL!
They tell me the same things like ppl in here start going to gym, eat more and blablabla...
And the problem is not the way i look but the way i feel about it!
I have a friend who is fat and has a great personality and she attracts soooo many guys?! Coz she doesnt care about it and sometimes i even envy her when she talks about food, and ahhhh!
Be happy withourself and rest will come..
Ok got to go now...
Cheeeeeers!
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Ashley, I think in first place you should not think "FAT makes you not attractive". There are 2 ways you can handle this problem from my personal opinions.
1) if you think because of your size you can't find a relationship, then do something about your size - go to gym, do a healthy diet, join some courses such as dancing, yoga, etc which can help you reduce the size. This could also help you open your circle of friends too, perhaps you can find some friends that have common interest with you later.
2) You said you are big size, but you did not mention if you hate your big size or you do not have problem with it (some fat people do like what they have and dont intend to change anything to become slim). If you love your body and do not intend to reduce size, then clean up your mind. You should not think negatively about size and relationship. I have many fat friends that can find love and get married. I have many slim and pretty friends that still single or have no boyfriend. So, fat or slim have the equal opportunity to find love.
Believe me. You can find your love one day. But right now what i think you should do is try to make new friends. Dont let yourself sit all day in the house. Get some activities to do. Soon you will feel better.
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2468, this is not a nonsense topic. For the below what i say, ashleyfnx i am not referring to you here. I just quoting an example here.
In fact, I find this topic is good. I do meet some fat people that have very low self esteemed and they do not want to get out from their house, not even want to see a stranger. The problem is they think negatively and negatively, and if no one to discuss with them to make them feel better, the problem will become worsen and soon they will lose their self esteem and if very badly depressed one day, they will think of suicide.
Of course, most of the people want to look at beutiful thing (take note, i am not saying 100%), but sometimes, you may just look at it but you will not take it. Why ? Some people will say :"Yeah, this look good but i dont want it because i know it is not suitable for me" I wont say that there is no love between a pretty slim woman married a guy, or you may refer it a rich guy. So just not put everybody in a same basket as everyone has their own value and perspective of life.
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