Posted by
May_AM
18 yrs ago
Ladies & gentlemen, post your views / opinions. :-)
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788
18 yrs ago
It certainly works and more women should do so. May be there might be less angst.
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Sounds normal, although others seems not to appreciate it.
Personally, I prefer not to give everything in one shot, just give him a picture on what he can have and let him approach it.
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I was approached once by a lady who didn't look for any commitment and hopes. The feeling to us was so nice amazingly and made our relationship was developed quickly, strange? Yes, unbelievable but it does work to us at the moment.
That's rather an effective if gal takes initiative without any requests and expectation...
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some ( if not all men) loves them sassy. And it's sexy when done in the right doses.
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I'm not too sure if women would make the 1st move but they will definitely give you hints.
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The woman ALWAYS makes the first move. It's just that they are real subtle about it.
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Seems women making the 1st move is still not quite acceptable by men... That's pretty unfair if true... Why is it that when men do the "chasing", it's perfectly right & fine but when women do that, people consider it out of norm???
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788
18 yrs ago
Women making the 1st move is still not quite acceptable by men who are Old fashioned and not quite progressive. Who wants them?
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All men are flattered when a woman makes the first move; however, just as some have posted, you have to understand the situation and act accordingly. You can be quite sure that even if a man does not make a move right away, there will be hints of his interest. If you can pick up on these hints and want to initiate...fantastic! Just trust your instincts.
Keep in mind though that men understand that some women, in a more traditional sense, want to be pursued, so persistance will sometimes pay off for them. It doesn't quite work the other way around. If a woman initiates and there is no immediate validation from the man...he's not interested.
Having said all of this...you'll never know unless you try.
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788
17 yrs ago
May AM, Seems you liked someone who would could not appreciate your making the 1st move and thats why you feel its unfair, is it?
Some guys are comfortable with the opposite sex making the 1st move, some still have old (boring too I think) rules of engagement persist. Have to try and figure out who is who and whom you are really interested in; and in case things do move beyond dating, which of the attitudes you prefer.
I couldn't be bothered with the ones who balked at the idea of women taking initiative and control. I would feel relief if I found out in the 1st round of dating because my time had not been wasted. My then future husband had enough goodlooking, charming prospects around him and he is NOT shy. But he happily accepted when I suggested no commitments relationship and 3 months later I proposed marriage!
He is an amazing fella and we have been married over 7 years. By the way, I am not an out there feminist either. I have been following him around to different cities, however reluctantly. So what if it is out of the norm? At the end of the day all that matters is whether both the sides can make each other happy.
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788
17 yrs ago
Electrode, do you feel better when they reject you instead?
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Electrode sounds like a man with a BIG ego... BRAVO!!! Not meaning to be impolite here but perhaps Electrode doesn't have women making the 1st moves towards him... or he really has many such experiences which made him wrote what he wrote???
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788
17 yrs ago
Electrode... you are hilarious!! Hardly shy! Oh your sexual appeal.... it has hardly coming across in these posts but after this one... I'll believe whatever you say.
On the other hand, you are very shy. Your post suggests that probably you don't have many friends who are men. Otherwise you might not have made such a sweeping generalization about your own sex. Men who appreciate women making 1st moves get snapped up 'cos they are so open minded and the others get left behind.
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788
17 yrs ago
> Electrode- you are not desperate at all(i am snickering all the way)... and with your attitude probably you will fit right up with a "discerning" looker. Since thats what you want and need- more power to you!
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hi,
i need opinion here. i have lately met someone i really like and as someone mentioned here, as a woman, i have never make the 1st move. (not because i am arrogant but because i just do not know how...and usually those make the 1st move are not the ones i want... :x ). anyway, we went out once and it went well and we both enjoyed the evening and that was a week ago. may i know what's next? should i wait for his next move or is he waiting for mine?
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maxis
17 yrs ago
Unsure,
Give him an indication that you are intersted, if you are.
Guys sometimes try several women at once and see which ones like them so they know which ones to bother putting the time of day into, and to expedite the girlfriend acquisition process.
The "move" can be subtle, let him know, or he may think you are just another who have plaved themselves on the highest shelf - guys don't really dig that always, contrary to some people's opinion. And there are plenty of more women about in HK, so it is not very efficient to invest time in a girl if she doesn't make it clear she is keen - but in moderation girl, not too strong or he'll move on (and perhaps use you on the way), bit of intrigue is a wonderful aphrodesiac
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hi,
maxis > thanks for the advise. it has never crossed my mind the idea about "trying a few people at the same time and see who gets interested". i always thought you only try with someone you feel right about. oh well, maybe i am just an idealist. anyway, will try sms him later to see if he wants to do something tomorrow since it s a holiday.
Xandra > read that thread and can totally understand how you feel. to be honest, i am usually the disappearig one especially if you keep hinting to the person you are not interested, they just dont get it.
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