Posted by
jasmine525
16 yrs ago
i am 33 single been involved with a married man for 5 years.he considers me as his second wife. we both are tolerant and giving person. soon the affair got caught.his wife has done police complainment,confiscate propertys &all his ID paper document etc. because of his two children none of us really wants devorce to happen.it is a very difficult ralationship. i feel bad and painful often. i am quite sure he is the love of my life.right now he's got kicked out of house for almost a year,he is struggling trying to make his wife sign up "agree- mistress- exsit" paper.which of cause she refused.what a mess! we r living far away.there's 2 hours flying distance between .should i continue ?i can not imagine live without him.we can talk anything to each other like friends,60%i am in my own city, 40%i stay his city in a secret apartment.all aware the best is let it go but the thing is nobody is letting anybody go... i don't know what advice i want really maybe i am trying to tell all other women:do not fall for married man,rather just fool around......
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Thanks for the advice, there's some useful information here.
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You had no right to enter into a relationship with a married man and you destroyed a family as a result. I'm happy that you have warned others not to do the same. Now you have to finish the job and leave him. The pain you will go through is nothing compared to what you have done to his wife and family. You are selfish, heartless, self-centered and childlike. Grow up and quit feeling sorry for yourself. You are hoping to get some sympathy in this forum but you deserve only our contempt.
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thanks for Pumkin's reply, you r right it is certain that i did wrong thing on this.maybe i should of mention his marriage more.they were ok but not really happy always.if the marrige itself is strong how could i get in his life?what if i am the one complete his marriage?
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ayaya
16 yrs ago
Jasmine
You are wrong by thinking that you are there to complete his marriage and think you are his second wife. You are truly devoted woman and it's amazing you have this idea. So you must be very much in love with him . You are not wrong in love with him. Once the feeling is there it's hard to let it go. Yet, after 5 years being together, Could you really accept his final solution " agree -mistress-exist?"Do you really want to be the second all your life and being miserable all your life?Think about it. if the man truly loves u as he said. He won't try to save his marriage by telling his wife mistress-exist. He is very selfish man and didnt love u enough from my point of view. if a man truly loves a woman, he would give up everything to get it and to be together not just keep u around and tell the wife that you are there behind her.
I know there must be struggble between you and him whether to let it go and it's truly a hard decision. Yet think more for your self, you are not the one to blame not the wife but the man. don't just balance this weird relation by thinking that you are there to complete his marriage. you are not. you are independent woman and you deserve to have you own man who is fully devoted to you. It might be hard to find immediately. maybe not in a short time. but keep looking maybe you will find the right one soon. Give yourself time to think about it whether this man is truly worthy your love and devotion.
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thanks for ayaya's reply. biggest enemy is alway inside yourself ! deeply in my heart i know all the fact! then keep living in all kinds of lies or truth,excuses or fantacy like"let's see who's more patient"or"time will tell"or "kids grow up we all grow old then everybody is peacefull finally"etc. thanks to everybody has viewd this.
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Really good story.love it
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"When you get involved with a married man...the entire relationship is based on lies."
Not necessarily My Hong Kong, I believe that you are generalizing which isn't so smart. From what you are saying Jasmine, this guy really does love you as he's shown by trying to get his papers signed but without success.
I think that you should persevere as good things are worth fighting for, right?
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Donut Waver
Don't you see he's just using her? He wants to have his cake and eat it to. The only person he really loves is himself. Flashback is right, the wife should not be forced to enter into such a contract, she already has one! Just because a man says he's unhappy in his marriage it doesn't give any woman the right to jump in and be his mistress. If this guy was honorable, he would have left his wife first before looking for her replacement. That is the respectable thing to do. Furthermore, if a couple is having problems it's because they have both done something to create them. "She doesn't clean or take care of the kids", give me a break, what's he doing wrong? How did he contribute to the problem?
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I am no expert, and my views are more directed towards jasmine. if any relationship is difficult it is better to give it up, however if the relationship is good and working then everything falls in place, sooner or later. as for jasmines advice that never to fall for a married man and just fool around is very immature. Life is serious yes it has its moments of fun but not at others expense, and jasmine should understand that very well. If jasmine can put up with all the negatives as she is sensitive and make herself at peace with whatever consequences then indeed she would not be wrong and her love and relationship would be interesting and she should continue and wait and be patient for the best or worst to come, and accept the final outcome good or bad.
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bing2
16 yrs ago
if you were his wife you would not be the love of his love, you know what i mean?
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yup, that is very true. otherwise, he won't be in it. that is the only truth.
and also, if wife stays on with him, knowing about his affair, even she is happy.
they want eachother. that's it.
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bing2
16 yrs ago
guys are just shallow, it's in their genes that they want to spread their seed around. and they would surrender to the first girl who gives them a little bit of affection, especially when the wife is not as attractive and sexually active anymore.
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Most men seperate love and sex. it is our nature.
All people lie and all people will cheat if it is the right time. Women cheat and so do men. Most of you giving advice will cheat. My advice is do it as long as you like it once it becomes painful then stop. believe nothing the man says. use your own judgement
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butch
16 yrs ago
A painful end is better than a never-ending pain!!!
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