Are you ready to live alone all your life?

It is the 40th Birthday for me, and I couldn't sleep well last night, depressed by the fact that I am still single at this age.Everytime I woke up, feeling like dropping into a deep cave without a path out. It is terrible in China for a woman to be single at this age, particularly I am not a strong woman with successful career, and I am not a busy woman with busy schedule. There is no reason for me to being single untile now. I am just a normal Chinese woman with good education, making a living in a decent way, liking all the good things in life. I have tried to find a way out, such as looking for events and activities, but I felt lost in those 10 years younger groups, and also lost in the warmly chatting business groups. I was a stranger there.

Chinese men think I am too old for them,though I look nice;Foreign men are crazily chased by Chinese girls. And a Matchmaker contacted me from my ads,asking for 30000RMB, and promising she can find a special one for me.Hahaha,shall I try? I know there are many lonely souls, but they are driven by the crowded and busy Shanghai city life, that they only get the fast food style personal life.Maybe they are happy with this.

I want to know: Are you ready to live alone all your life?

Happy 40th Miss Moon,


And your answer is YES. Even if you are married, he will be working and you will be doing other things. He will have his birth family that you don't get on with and you will feel alone etc. He will have friends that you don't understand and on and on.


Everyone deserves to be loved and supported but it may not be from a romantic partner. Look at increasing your friendship circle and seeing your family more.

In the end they are the most reliable source.

Some people are ready to live alone all their life and some aren't. It also depends on what life brings to you. If life doesn't bring the right person to live with...then it's fine to live on your own. However, if you come across a decent and reliable person...then it's actually pleasant to live together.


Because you are 40, try to date men who are 50-53. They are your better chance. Don't go too quickly to bed. ;-) Date for a bit, engage in mutual activities, ask questions, and be 'interesting' and 'interested'. How to be interesting? Google topics and talk about them on dates.

Those matchmaker services are a serious moneymaking racket, right?


I had a friend who was also like you, in her 40's but with 2 kids under her belt. She debated on using the matchmakers out here in HK and it cost her something like 500 bucks to sign up only to be told that if they "accepted" her as a client, then she would be able to sign up (for real this time) for one of their packages...but it was something like HKD70K for the cheapest one!


Pshhh, for that price, I could find you a match too! Lol.


I am with tinyteddy on this, work on increasing your friendship base. Maybe even be proactive and start a group for people similar to you, where you can all get together to have fun and be supportive rather than get together to cry in a collective cup of tea.


Being single at 40 is happening more and more to women these days, and although for my friend she was able to find a nice 50-55 year old guy eventually (through the AX personals, no less!), it was only after I told her that it would be better to avoid faking her age and wasting her time going on dates with 30 something young men who would be happy to stick their wang in anything with a heartbeat.


Increase your friendship base, reconnect with family, and if you have siblings with kids, get your kid-fix vicariously through them...its not the end of the world, you are still you and its up to you to figure out how you make your life worth living.


Happy Birthday, by the way!

I can totally understand your feelings. From time to time I am stricken by the same as what you have experienced. I am also faced with stress from parents, who thought I am strange enough to live such a lonely life by myself and not grab someone to get marriage with. Having tried some dating website, I met some guys that I want to foster a serious relationship with. But things are not so simple. Chinese men want young girls or just a friend for fun. Internet is so powerful that they think there must be more exciting things waiting for them in the further. They consider themselves to be a fool if making a decision to settle down with me. So, it always ends up back to the beginning. I really got enough of these and feel exhausted. Not sure if I am really to be alone all this life. But I have no choice.

Forget all modesty and go for broke.

as always, some very practical advice from LGMV