Posted by
Vulvic
19 yrs ago
I read the most alarming article today about women who apply business strategies in order to score a husband. The article referred to it as 'scoring rock', amusing but also quite scarey.
The article elaborated on some of the ways in which some women managed 'steer' their boyfriends toward proposing. These included duping their b/fs into thinking that they were being pursued by other men and at risk of losing them to a potential siutor. Another method mentioned was 'buzzing' whereby several friends would e-mail and text other friends about the 'secret' news of an upcoming proposal. The aim being to get your entire circle of friends in on this 'secret' until finally your b/f succumbs and actually proposes.
My question to you girls out there is - would you go to such extreme & underhand measures in order to get your fella to propose?
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I would never do that to the one I love. The reason is very simple: I want to have a long term relationship with my loving boyfriend instead of trapping him in a marriage which could be very risky as he would find out my purpose in the relationship with him.
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I agree. You would also spend the rest of your married life wondering if he was with you through choice or by design.
Frankly, I'd rather stay single.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Desperate women will do anything to get a man. It's up to us, the men, to watch out. If you're not ready and you succumb to these frivolous pressures, you spell a doom for yourself. I believe some men also employ similar methods to 'corner' a woman.
Getting married may be important, but preparation towards maintenance of love-based and satisfying marriage is most important. Both sexes must be genuine when it comes to matters of life; in this case, marriage.
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And the thing is that you never know if that guy you have trapped is good to you or not. So I believe in 2 things: (1) there's always a trade-off; and (2) honest is the wisest way to walk any relationship, be it in love or in business or in friendship.
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Shaq - in what ways do men 'corner' women for marriage. Never heard of men doing that, always thought they were too busy trying to avoid marriage.
Wildorchid - agree with you, you could end up trapping a real dud, lol.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Vulvic -- there is always a selected few that do the otherwise. Yes, guys may be running away from marriage. But there may be others who may be running into it; perhaps, for some ulterior motive. Do you concur now??? ... Opinion is free.......
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Hmm, you take the Myers-Briggs, do a little SWOT, set your targets, hey presto a husband!
Vulvic, it isn't scary, it's pathetic. I'd say if you want someone to marry you, just ask. If you both are in that place where marriage is the next stage, it'll just happen. Besides, that piece of paper does not per se mean commitment (cfr the many threads about spouses cheating).
Ah, these friggin' mind games ...
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From what I've seen, in singles clubs around the world, is a desperate person makes people around them uncomforatable. And those around them mary not even know why.
I have seen desperate men on the hunt, and desperate women on the hunt, and they repel each other like 'like poles on two magnets'. Which is ironic.
Also the people who play games think that they are very clever, and so do thier like minded friends. Others may think they are not very nice people. I am the latter.
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Tigerbay - are you from Cardiff?
To be perfectly honest, I don't agree with giving your partner a gentle nudge. If you are in a committed relationship the topic of marriage, kids etc will have already come up. Would rather my partner asked me of his own free will than after some gentle persuasion from me.
I think once you start set tactics to get your man there is the huge chance that things could backfire horribley.
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Yeah a market of desperate women looking for husbands. These are the same women who have failed to realise that men, like animals, can smell fear at 20 paces.
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But does that "Find a Husband After 235 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School" really work? Any fail/success stories out there?
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I have known two people who have basically stated that they pinned their husbands (reminds me of the days when colonialists went out to Africa to shoot big game)
Anyway, one got pregnant knowing the husband-to-be's family would not like illegitimate children on their hands and the other knew her man was going to become quite rich and give her her 2.4 children that she required to 'fit' into a lifestyle she aspired to.
They are not 'bad' people, but it still disturbs me slightly to think that they had engineered the whole thing.
I like the idea of a relationship leading to marriage to be more 'organic', maybe I am just living in a 'Little house on the prairie' kind of existence and that's why I'm still single - but I definitely couldn't just 'make do'.
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I knew two sisters back home who pledged only to marry a 'rich man'. They only dated rich men, and they both snarred rich men. And even with 2.4 kids, they both admitted (age 45) to being totally misserable and haveing led a pretty lonely existance.
But I am sure there are exceptions.
And I am sure others will argue that they know those who married for all the 'right' reasons that are still misserable.
Maybe money buys you a better class of misery.
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