Posted by
easygoing
19 yrs ago
I would like to know from guys when after some time (a steady relationship) realises the relationship will not go anywhere further and wants to end a relationship, what way he uses to close the chapter?
e.g. 1/ silently quit without discussion and disappear 2/ tell her it's not working and accept her confrontation 3/ make an excuse which is totally irrelevant about the relationship not working, e.g. I have to relocate to another country etc 4/ other ways ...
Ladies pls feel free to share experience :-)
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I would say tell her as she probably knows the relationship doesn't work and is trying to get out too.
How about how to end the chapter with a guy with same condition i.e steady relationship?
All comments are welcome.
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1)ex girl friend issue
2)relationship v.s his life plan (it doesn't)
these two I heard recently
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i am the type who would bring up my concern and ask if something can be worked out together. If it still doesn't go anywhere then I would suggest him a period to cool off. How plain/straghtforward I say it out depends on the type of guy.
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I have tried to end the relationship a few times he just wouldn't agreed. We ended up making up then fallen out again. I am so tired and do not have the energy to deal with it anymore. How do I end it once and for all?
Shall I just packed up and go/disappear. I prefer to tell him and end the relationship but it seems impossible.
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Has to be number two in an idealistic world really. Accept the confrontation and tell the truth.
In the real world though, sadly it's not always like that.
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It is sort of difficult for me to pack up and go. He has to leave but he refuses to. The threats he makes will also make my life very difficult in the future.
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Same boat. You mention the threats? Fark, get out of there, surely there is a way. End it and be strong about it and don't ever look back.
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whichever way, I think the first one is definitely the worst and most selfish, I've seen a few guys doing this to their girlfriends, they just wouldn't return the girls' calls and leaving the girls with nothing but frustration. sometime if the guy wants to end a relationship because he meets someone else, it might be better to just end it without mentioning a new girlfriend, but no matter what, the guy needs to stand up and say it to girl that it's over.
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Thanks Nemesis. There are some similarities and definately some useful numbers and contatcs.
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Hmmm not the most dignified way to leave a relationship but each to their own.
During this 3 yr 'relationship' did she not think her b/f was behaving inappropriately?
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I think some guys tend to keep a woman around so that at least he is not alone but when he can have a better one (and solicited that one) he walks out same like he walks out from a restaurant.
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Why not just SMS/text her? Seems that people get fired/terminated by text.
Saves arguements - you might just have to barr her telephone number, though.
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Life
19 yrs ago
Men are like busses, as soon as one leaves, another one arrives.
Why do people always lay blame on others instead of accepting responsibility for their lives? Why is it always.. his fault, and not “my fault”. If you are treated like a door mat, and you put up with it, and you are not MARRIED (because one can assume the behavior changed after marriage, and that you were not stupid enough to be a doormat and still get married), then say he was to chicken to break up with me, and why couldn’t he have just ended the relationship, then you got what you deserved for your stupidity and desperate actions.
I dated a guy who always seemed to have dirty dishes in the sink when I arrived and a cluttered house. After cleaning up a couple of times, I decided I was not his maid service, I informed him and the next time I arrived at his house and saw a mess, I left! It solved the problem. No more dirty dishes, and no more clutter. BUT! I was not desperate, and I knew there were other guys out there.
Why does the man have to break up with you? Why can’t you see the writing on the wall or have standards that once he does not measure up, you get rid of him! You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, so unless it’s a puppy, why waste your time?
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lulu
19 yrs ago
well from what i known so far, men will "Never" ends a relationship. They might have 100 mistresses and girlfriends around but they never say "Bye" to their wives or girlfriends. They are like that, they always want to keep someone on their own and have "extras" for fun.
I only heard a lot of women cannot stand those "kind of relationship" no more and left the guy. Women's hearts died, they never return. but some like fighting so it goes on....
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thanks everyone for the comments. Some men's behaviour definitely piss women off, whereas ending a relationship trying not to hurting the other person is a very difficult task for either sex.
We know some men behave like ostrich's head in the soil to end a relationship. And I would like to find out if this can be defined as a common men's solution or not.
Unfortunately I don't seem to have guys replying to this thread. Maybe they really don't like to face it or the discussion here has scare them off ?
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lulu
19 yrs ago
JC> i am not saying i only went out with men that is attached or married. Actially i cannot say i went out with them at all. I did hang out with them and i heard a lot of other stories on that.
women a lot of times knows their men cheated as well, but a lot of them just pretend they are not aware of that nor they want to keep the relationship going, cos they think they are still the winners. I know a lot of women are like that. Nothing wrong with them thou, if they like it that way.
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c'mon JC, this is just a discussion thread, not a problem-seeking-solution thread, no need to get emotional. calme, si vous plait....
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lulu
19 yrs ago
easygoing, thanks. We just want to share thoughts, as men can also have their opinion on here.
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JC, I posted a thread trying to find out the different approaches man would use to end a relationship. I welcome women to share experience.
None of your reply is related to my thread. Oh well, one of the typical disadvantage of open discussion is people change your discussion topic without paying attention.
BTW your presumption on me is wrong. But if I ever has a problem that requires some strong shouting (like dismissing underperforming employees), I definitely would ask you to help.
lulu, Seeing how the discussion goes I don't think a guy would dare/care to join in this discussion now.
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When men want to leave a relationship,the message is pretty obvious:
- being careless
- lessen contact
- they are always busy
- show no attention
Last and worst is they cheat on you without covering it.
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i agree with April Luo.Girl got to be alert when your guy has such signs. Besides, among all those ways, the most unacceptable one is the first. Just like JC said, they are the men who dont have balls! Bastard!!
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lulu
19 yrs ago
I would think women like to pretend and not knowing. They will not want to leave until they saw her boyfriends really f**king someone?
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