Posted by
Sfcal
12 yrs ago
okay, i know i will get some harsh critiques from some folks, but have y'all read some of the personals (women seeking men)? pretty much all the local females are looking for westerners, or white men, that are filthy rich. give me a a break... don't ask others to deliver what you can't for yourself. in other words, go get your own money and don't expect a free lunch. it does not exist!
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Well, I suppose it must be a matter of if they are going to start shopping for a man that maybe Mum and Dad won't approve of, the least they can do is find one that is rich so it would soften the blow.
Plus, a lot of the local women who are past their sell by date (which for asian numbers game is anywhere nearing 30) they are hedging their bets that white men are still open to dating an asian over 30 who looks like they are in their 20's...*shrug*
But yes, reading the personals make some seem like right on gold diggers, but it could be a language barrier thing, unlikely you will see a native speaker outright say she is looking for a man with money, more likely she will say she is looking for someone successful, blah blah blah. Likely that most women want to date a man who has a good job. Who would you see saying "looking for jobless bum"?
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coty
12 yrs ago
i think both local, other asian and western women and men here are after gold. why else did the expats come here? but local girls tend to be shallower and lack other interests or passions. it's the financial city they live in.
it's an interesting issue cos once you know some local girls, despite their dior jewellery and prada bags, they can be really nice and have a side that is totally non materialistic.
worth knowing is that lots of girls here are pretty well off themselves. quite a few millionaires around me. so when some ask for a wealthy guy, they just don't want to date below themselves.
i saw those personals, seemed to be written by the same couple of persons over and over again.
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I think it's a bit harsh to say that all westerners are here for money. I moved to Hong Kong because this is where my husband's family are from. I ended up here because of him. One of the chaps I work with moved to Hong Kong because he wanted to work in a different culture and he was offered a job (not THAT well paid) in Hong Kong.
My friends do like to date white guys, which is usually beyond my understanding. But they don't always go for the rich blokes. They have dated some men who are travelling or who are teachers, we don't really mix in the mega rich circles.
When people talk about how my husband has a white wife, they always talk about how cute our kids will be. I think HK girls like white guys because they want pale mixed race babies. Not everything is about money.
I think every girl would like a rich husband. I would love it if my husband was rich, but I think that fundermentally women prefer someone who will be a good husband and a good father.
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Not only in Hongkong,
"According to the Chinese media, an online poll conducted by China Youth Daily found that nearly 60 percent of respondents had peers who hoped to marry rich, or to rely on wealthy and powerful men as a means to realize their personal goals. Perhaps in response to this kind of attitude, several prominent universities have drafted new regulations that prohibit female students from becoming mistresses—the punishment is being expelled from school.
Writer Zhang Lijia, the author of Socialism is Great! A Worker’s Memoir of The New China, says that young women have grown up in an increasingly commercial society, and that they’re “more calculating, materialistic and with a greater sexual license.”
“They don’t carry the same sense of shame,” says Zhang, who is currently at work on a novel about prostitutes. “They’ll do anything. If they can sell their body, why not? They’ll do whatever is necessary to get ahead.”
“Sex is not a big deal anymore,” she says. “If you can have sex for gain, why not?”
She contrasts this with her own generation, which grew up during the Cultural Revolution, which had a far more conservative upbringing. “For our generation, sex was something you only did after you got married,” she says, “and not something you took advantage of.”
“There’s no bottom line anymore,” says the editor. “Business people put poison in our food. And so girls just think if they’re just hanging out with a sugar daddy, what’s the difference? It doesn’t hurt anyone.”
Yu says that since reform and opening up, everything in China has been “measured in terms of money.”
“Young people feel the only value is money,” says Yu. “Their parents keep telling them money is important, and if you want to live well or go places, you need money.” She says beautiful girls are more likely to get “resources”, and that when someone goes back home wearing expensive clothes and other luxury items, “everyone envies you.”
“People will laugh at you if you’re poor, but they won’t laugh at you if you’re a prostitute,” she says, quoting a traditional Chinese saying that has greater resonance today.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/06/09/chinese-not-surprised-by-zhang-ziyi-scandal.html
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We've all heard the generalizations -
Women only care about money; Men only care about looks.
True for a small minority, Just one factor for the majority.
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I aint gonna generalize here, as this is for real. My ex got online 18 years ago some weird game with knights and the such next thing i know all these wacos from out of state are in my house next thing i know she wants a divorce so she can marry one of the wacos that is 15 years her junior and has lots of money because he is a lawyer, long story short she is still married has the house on the beach that I put down the down payment for! And me well I have an apartment 30 miles from the water and live alone with a dog, because nice guys finish last! and women cannot be trusted! Its been 18 years gone out but no woman will ever get my loyality none are worthy!
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The only woman I completely trust is my mother and I have told my wife that as well. She completely understands being that my heritage is Italian. Honestly I would not generalize all HK women. I have seen plenty of women here who are not gold diggers. Most of all I feel women want security for their children. My wife is Japanese and is a good wife.
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songyu - dayum! Thats harsh...she was playing dungeons and dragons? Or was it world of warcraft? Them online games are mad. I was just in Poland over the summer and my friends niece was having her world of warcraft "boyfriend" visiting her from holland. Them two were joined, teenage hand to teenage hand, like glue! *SMH* Sorry you got dicked over.
Brooklynexpat - good for you, you lucked out with a good Japanese wife...I can't say my brother was as lucky. Or its simply possible my brother is a crap husband...bit of both, me thinks.
As for women being gold diggers, well, there are a lot of things that one can say about Hong Kong when they become jaded with only seeing the seedier side of it, night in and night out.
My experience? When I used to go out a lot and club a lot, I used to think HK was full of players and women too stupid to know better. I used to see all bankers and brokers as people on a permanent come down from coke and alcohol. I used to see all pilots as wankers who cheat on their wives.
Now? I know HK has a lot of good people, pilots, bankers, laywyers and good ol housewives...all doing a good job of being good husbands, wives, friends and parents. Its not all a mess of gold diggers and dirty old bastards!
*shrug* its where you see things from.
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I am not white but I am American. I have been asked many times, by my local friends, if any of my white American male friends are available. They don't really mention anything about the money. And I don't think it's all about the money. I think it's more about status and showing off. White people in HK are still highly respected and always looked up to. Even though I am not White when people find out I was not only educated in America but born and raised there they immediately open up there ears. And when I am speaking in English with friends locals will do a double take and then start speaking in English or talking about "gweilos" in Cantonese.
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I travel a lot in Asia and have had a good time with such girls who look for western men. Almost all of them wanted to be treated in five star restaurants, they expected gifts from me, take them to movies, travel all over by taxi or a privately hired car etc., so when i incur so much expenses, dont you think, i wont get what i want? They are not worth for becoming one's soulmate... Just enjoy .. we live only once and we dont get second chance to live in this world. i am not a white man from the west but of course my skin is very fair, hence i replied to those ads which wanted western men. :)
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
YoyoGuy, indeed an interesting and honest response. Say you wanted to settle down, would or could you fall in love with this type of female? I guess what I'm asking is could someone that is a gold digger also be long term material for you? I just don't get the whole "princess" concept here.
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Completely lost me on that last post. What exactly are we getting at happyhkhappy? Are you trying to say all women, chinese and western, are golddiggers and its ok?
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"pretty much all the local females are looking for westerners, or white men, that are filthy rich. give me a a break..."". take a step back and ask yourself are you not being too generalizing all local women here in HK, in your opinion, all local women are looking for free rides and are gold diggers. (shaking my head!!)... I can't believe this, how long have you been in HK? A lot of local women here can earn as much as men, if not more... i truly believe there are still women who seek genuine love and relationship...
Be realistic, gold diggers are everywhere, in every race and in both genders.. as long as there are guys who are in their 50s, 60s, bald, pot belly and fat, ugly with sagging chin, still seeking women of 20s, 30s, they basically are inviting for gold diggers, not that I don't believe in real love between large age gap, but it just doesn't happen that much.
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There are always a small number of people who match generalizations - to the rest of the population, these are plain wrong and insulting.
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Sfcal
12 yrs ago
Hmmm...happyhkhappy, you are projecting. You must desire the meal tickets and issued credit cards. Go take care of your own wants before asking that of others. I am against your (or any other's) monetary expectations and princess attitudes.
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coty
12 yrs ago
i think another reason local girls appear to new westerners new in hk as gold diggers is that the girls look often much younger than their western partners and when the age gap appears big the new westerner starts to look for a reason and settles on money.
racism is another reason. many new westerners are not ready for the idea of independent asian girls especially if they're very nicely dressed, with lots of make up, having drinks and dinners in posh places. many westerners assume or suspect these girls are prostitutes.
anyway princesses are not the same as gold diggers.
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going back to happy's comment, i never got the "pay my bill" trend. seriously, what the hell! demanding presents and fine-dining, ok... but handing your bills to a man???...
a few women tried to do this. and i am not proud of that, but i started treating them like complete crap afterwards.
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When you're choosing someone as a partner for the rest of your life you need to make sure they share the same values as you. If you follow that rule you will immediately dismiss the immature, sex maniacs and gold diggers.
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