Posted by
Poon100
14 yrs ago
We merried in 2003 but suddenly I saw her some email photos that photos are taken after married with her x boyfriend we have already kids please help me what I do?
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Firstly, there is no point asking her about it, because you will not get the truth.
You first need to decide if you want to save the marriage or not. You should consider Paternity tests.
I know one man who married a woman far out of his league, and he decided to take her back despite her running around because (1) the kids (2) he knew he would never find another woman as good as her....
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simple: she still loves her ex. adores ex to this very day, very moment. You come second best. maybe even 3rd, 4th, 5th. who knows.
but one thing is for sure. you wont get any truth from her bec she wants to stay married to you for whatever reason she could use you. And you will be that dumb to stay in that marriage for the obvious reason.
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Hmmm.. what if the situation was harmless? Like they have decided not to date each other but still care for one another as friends?
I decided not to continue my relationship with my ex bf because I didn't feel that he was the one for me. Instead, I felt that my husband was my bestfriend and the love of my life. However, I still talk to my ex and still meet up with him whenever we're both in the same country.
Do I still have feelings for him? Yeah, a little because as a woman, I don't fall in and out of love so easily and I take all my relationships seriously. Obviously given the number of years we were together, I still care for my ex and love a catch-up about what's been happening in his life but if I had to choose again, I'd still choose my husband over him and my husband is still everything to me. I don't see anything wrong if it's just a harmless chatting and meeting up. He's an ex for a reason.
What if it's really nothing and we've just told the poster to give up on a happy marriage.
I would however mention to your wife how uncomfortable you feel about the situation. I'm sure your feelings matter to her more.
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I agree wi GemmaW.... If u and the marriage means sth to her, she'll consider ur feelings and do sth abt it.....
Unless proven otherwise, give her the benefit of doubt....
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Thank you all giving suggestion but before merried we compromise about past but after 7years I knew she steel met him . I never thinking like this happening in my life . Now some time i think give up and some time I think may be this is a life some time happy or some time unhappy . I steel love her to much I hope she will come back with clean heart . Now every moment I pray my god give me back my love and my happy family, Thank you all.
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I think you should pray your God for giving you a calm heart instead. because whether your family is happy or not hinges on your attitude towards and concept of marriage. A few questions for you:
1. Are you marrying a human or a tradition - be it cultural, social or religious?
2. Why the past has to be compromised? What does a person's history mean to you?
3. If you accept a "unclean" body (ex-boyfriend) when you marrying her, why can't you trust her heart is also clean after marriage?
4. What the sh*t has actually happened now? What's big deal with the photo? Was it taken in a park or in bed? Read GemmaW's comment again.
of course i am not saying there's no problem at all for her to meet her ex behind your back, i totally agree suggestions all above : stop struggling, initiate an open talk but not expecting to know the truth, communication always counts.
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Poon, it may seem harsh but I think you have trust and security issue.
It seems like you are very much in love with her and wanted your happy family back. Were you not happy before you found out she emailed him some photos and still meet him? How long have you known?
Former lovers could still be great friends with no monkey business included. It is possible that they still care and concerned for each other, however, can you really consider that as cheating? Would you rather be with someone who bears hatred and bitterness from previous relationships?
Talk to her, tell her how it affects you and try to resolve it in ways that will make everyone happy.
I've said that because I'm still in touch with my ex-boyfriend, we chat everyday and went away for a long weekend when I was in London, practically did everything we did before, except the intimate part.
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I knew all about this 1 mth before . But before merried she told me she have no felling with him she don't want to met him anymore but acoding to mail picture she steel continue to meet and chat with x .
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She probably told you that to make you feel better. GemmaW is very wise. It could all be innocent. Unless she's kissing him or something in these photos, it might all be plutonic. She might have told you she's not going to meet up with him anymore just to stop you worrying.
Talk to her about it. See if she'll be honest with you. Tell her how this is making you feel and see what happens.
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Poon,
You wrote : "But before merried she told me she have no felling with him she don't want to met him anymore"
Sadly, now you know your wife is a liar and cannot be trusted. I won't recommend you to talk to someone who has shown herself to be a liar, because you are NOT going to get a straight answer. It's obvious she has some attachment to this man, although it might not be serious. You just don't know.
A few options
(1) Live with her behavior....
(2) Hire a PI to find out the facts about what is going on.... it really might be innocent.
(3) Invite her to go & spend the rest of her life with her x.
PupMonkey, if his wife REALLY wanted to make her hubby feel better she's stop seeing her X alone, not continue and lie about it.
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trust her. that's all you need to do
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