My relationship with Singapore & Asia



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by joesoap 19 yrs ago
Couldn't find a more appropriate place to post this. Was curious to start a thread on the culture differences between East and West and in particular the Asian/Chinese approach to self-expression and individualism. Do you feel that in the West self-expression and individualism is encouraged more than in Asia and if so why might this be? In Asia it seems that showing excessive emotion or "showing your cards" is discouraged. I have a Singaporean friend who is very outspoken and a little antagostic which I quite enjoy as very straightforward but he seems to have a lot of problems with Asian friends who can't handle his directness. It seems too that people walk around with a poker face and avoid showing emotion. Also individualism takes second place to walking the line and being like everyone else, at least in Singapore anyway. Am I being unfair? It seems this is one of the most difficult culture changes to make possibly together with the different work ethic here in Asia. Comments?

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COMMENTS
Show_N_Tell 19 yrs ago
it is rude in asian culture to show what you feel. epsecially when it comes to critical or negative comments, it's not a hospitable behavior. and emotions are very private things. asians don't hug their parents in public. some don't even hug at all.


when it comes to experssing opinions, it dates back to history where in order to survive, asians "go with the flow". it's quite obvious when you hold meetings with asian and when asked what they feel, many of them don't speak their mind but wait for the no.1 man to speak, then they all follow. such cultural behavior does not change overnight, it takes generations to evolve. your friend is quite young i believe? however, singapore is a more perculiar case. with such an efficient government, singaporeans hardly ever have to speak for themselves. you may find it a little different in taiwan or hk. in hk especially, you see alot more self motivation in general.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Agree with Show N Tell's comments. Singapore is a nanny-state and this is reflected in the way singaporeans communicate and interact. In other Asian countries, you may find that people are little bit more 'bolshie'. I certainly see the difference when I look at teenagers here in HK, they seems more vocal and emotive than the older generations. I can only think that it is a good thing.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
That's not showing your feelings, that's throwing a tantrum to get your way. HK girls have perfected the 'pout'.

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Show_N_Tell 19 yrs ago
agree with vulvic. that's not voicing out. that's korean soap.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Korean soap!!! You made me laugh with that one. Spot on.

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Show_N_Tell 19 yrs ago
hey, don't be surprise vulvic, guys DO fall for that.

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freshjive 19 yrs ago
It is true that Asian do hide their real feelings and self-expression is often refrained. However, please validate your statement as to how true this is in Singapore. I live and work in Singapore. There are people who are like what you have mentioned. However, for the majority, they hold their own opinions. In Singapore, you have to know them well before you see the revelation of self-expression. Different country has a different culture. They dont voice them out at the first meeting but that does not imply that they dont appreciate individualism.

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Show_N_Tell 19 yrs ago
freshjive has his point. however, many asians tend to wanna be politically correct when it comes to voicing out.

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freshjive 19 yrs ago
It is a society conditioning because of the emphasis on "face value". "Face value" as in to give the other person some "face" or holding one's opinion to save "face". This is common in Asia and not particularly in Singapore.


Has your friend listen or give his Asian friends a chance on what they want to say? Asians tend to listen to another person's opinion before putting in their own. They are hardly the ones who shoot off their mouth at the first opportunity.


Btw, Show N Tell, I am a female. ;)

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Show_N_Tell 19 yrs ago
apologies, when unsure, "he" is normally used. :-) but don't fret, in french n german, new technology / words are always female in gender. fair n square.

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packetman 19 yrs ago
I've lived in Hong Kong and now Singapore and sure you wouldn't see the police in Singapore stopping traffic to have 10,000 people march against govt policy. This same Singaporean friend told me today that he would prefer if there was no opposition Govt in Singapore because it just gets in the way of decision making process. As long as the govt is looking after their long term prosperity as a nation he doesn't care about self expression. He trusts the govt implicitly. Complete indoctrination. Amazing concept for a Gweilo/Ang Mo to get his head around. So yes in Singapore there is the govt element to self-expression. However as a culture I find (in particular chinese) to avoid showing any strong positive or negative emotion. Yes I do generalise here but it was meant as a generality. I find it very difficult if not impossible to get past that exterior. I've been in Asia 12 years and I've never gotten used to it. I find Filipinos, Indonesians and Thai to be much more expressive. Chinese, Japanese, Korean not so much. I start to theorise if it's a religous thing. While there is strong Catholicism, Islam and Buddhism respectively in the above countries there really isn't a Chinese "religon" as such. It's a very competitive environment for them. Religous teaching encourages us to feel empathy for other people. Someone explained the Chinese poker face as a result of this completitive nature. As I mentioned earlier "not giving away your hand". I think if I can get an answer maybe I can understand these people better.

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js2005 19 yrs ago
Dear joesoap,guess you don't have mcuh friend in singapore.

well, whether asian or european i think unless you know the other party well otherwise you will not share much with that person instead talking on topic which are very surface or general. right?

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js2005 19 yrs ago
Singapore is a small island with no natural resources,if the govt allow ppl to go on demontration,strike etc like any other country.Singapore won't be what they are today!


besides the govt try to make sure everyone can afford a appartment and if you are down to earth getting a job wasn't that difficult too, so why go on strike or demontration for nothing? unless there are lots of beggars around and alot of ppl out of job etc. otherwise i don't think is wise to do that, what good will it do to the country?of course, unless you are talking about a lousy govt that's another issue.



if singapore allow all these, do you think ppl would want to come to singapore to invest?

for such a small country if the govt is not strict i believe till date NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW ABOUT SINGAPORE!

definitely there must be some sacrifies otherwise singapore won't make it in just 40years to be where they are today!!!

Life is short we should encourage peace and harmony!

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js2005 19 yrs ago
So why not spend more time to do some charity work and help the needy rather than wasting time to go on strike/demonstration/against the govt who had made Singapore this a tiny dot in the map a Well Known Country!

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
JS2005 - I think you miss the point. There is no freedom of political expression in Singaore - a right that is generally accepted worlwide. Singapore may prosper in some areas but it is stagnant in others.


Agree with an earlier point about the Thai, Vietnamese and Filipino, would also add India and Pakistan to the list. People from these countries seem to be far more expressive emotionally, very passionate warm people. This is inm contrast to the very restrained Japanese, Koreans, Taiwanese, Chinese.

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freshjive 19 yrs ago
Agree that political expression is muted in Singapore. However, that is different from self expression and individualism. Self expression does exist in Singapore and Singaporeans are vocal and stand up for their opinions.

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balzac 19 yrs ago
I agree-self expression does exist. But I think the individualism is lagging behind a bit.

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MaryKay 19 yrs ago
I worked at an Internation Singapore School, run partly by the government. I would compare it culturally to a German ArMy Camp People follow the rules and accept being yelled at, everyone knows there place. Sinaporean teachers had opions and liked to complain with others teachera but never spoke up to those who could change things, everyone lived in fear of the authority. The English teachers had such strong accents, and ended every sentence with "okay la", I can't believe parents paid money for such a school. It was the worst teaching experience of my life, I never felt so repressed. I think people have given up polital and freedom of choice for an upper middle class culture. I mean people are killed for possesion of drugs, arrested for demonstartion and jailed for life for expression against government. I think that in terms of human rights Singapore has a lot to answer for.

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fionasam 19 yrs ago
Yes, I too believe that there is no human right in Singapore and people really follow the rules step by step.

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balzac 19 yrs ago
As freshjive said-there is a bit of expression-just that it's muted. I dont think following rules is a Singaporean specialty-otherwise you wouldn't see any littering or toilets would be clean.


Or perhaps the above would fall under 'civic consciousness'.


Following what everyone else is doing/keeping up with the Joneses/lining up at a stall because everyone else is doing so-well that is a Singaporean trait.


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freshjive 19 yrs ago
Balzac - I am with you one this.


I guess for any person to step into a foreign land, there would be some degree of culture shock. However, to say that there is no human rights in Singapore is a bit extreme. If there is no human right, I am not sure why there are so many expatriates and MNCs in Singapore.

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fionasam 19 yrs ago
What I’m saying is that sometimes you can bend the rules, Have some compassion at least. Here are some examples:


1. We went to Sentosa but because the queue in the bus going out of the place is way way long, we decided to walk thinking we can make it, we stop in one of the bus stop along and waited for the service bus, but none of the bus let us in because they said that we have to board inside.


2. We have 1 maid that we are going to bring to a safehouse and 3 Indonesian who are under CID investigation, since they are going in the same place we asked the CID people if 1 maid and 1 of our volunteers can just take their vehicle going to the same safehouse. But they said they can not take them with them because it is not their case. So the two have to take a cab and the CID vehicle followed them. I mean what harm can it do?


Do you get what I’m trying to picture here? Sometimes it’s so frustrating especially when your intension is to help.


Even some Singaporean says they don’t have human rights, not just me.



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balzac 19 yrs ago
That's not called human rights-that's called inflexibility and inability to make own decisions and to be accountable for it.


If person A made a decision based on a new/novel circumstance and things go wrong- he would be blamed for it.


That is why no one wants to be the first person to stick his/her head out to say or decide something.



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js2005 19 yrs ago
MaryKay - there's always human right! you can choose to work here or go back to where you belong because no one is pointing a gun at you that you must work there and you are indispensable,right? so just practice your right!

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js2005 19 yrs ago
fionasam:- CID investigation! are you a police? if not what make you so sure that there will not be any harm?who knows what can happen? there are many things you don't know but that does not mean that that will not do any harm if things happened and by then it will be too late to realize when things happened!right?

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js2005 19 yrs ago
Marykay:- honestly i feel so sorry for you, knowing your situation yet you didn't choose to leave and go back to where you belong and talking about human rights!why didn't you leave singapore since this is your worst life experience?is it that singapore govt pointing a gun at your head saying you must stay in singapore??? ............


you should advice those who complaint to quit the jjob because from what i see they are not fit to be in that job.



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js2005 19 yrs ago
MaryKay - if you are really in such situation perhaps i can help you to leave the country, just let me know and let me know your school,your name i will help you to get out of singapore a.s.a.p since is a hell to you.


hope this help.

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js2005 19 yrs ago
MARYKAY - " you can't believe parents paid money for such a school." then you should advice those parents not to send their children to where they teach,this is your human rights!you can have the say!


"It was the worst teaching experience of my life, I never felt so repressed."

suggestion :- leave immediately unless someone is pointing a gun at you,if really someone does, tell me i can help you.



"people are killed for possesion of drugs"

ppl don't get killed for possesion of drugs unless they exceed the amt.


"arrested for demonstartion and jailed for life for expression against government?"

you are feeding lots of wrong information to others here!

did rajaranam jail for life???


can you pls do some homework before imagining?

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balzac 19 yrs ago
There's no need to get so worked up. Those are their opinions and they have the right to express it. If you believe it's wrong. Try an approach called 'reasoning' instead of the above.


FYI. MaryKay is not based in Singapore.

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js2005 19 yrs ago
balzac:- i think you get me wrong i am not at all worked up but i am just stating the facts that i know.

hmm...whether MaryKay is base in singapore i don't know i am sure you know in this cyber world all identity can be created.

i was just wondering why MaryKay didn't leave the place.if he/she had i am happy for him/her.


i am sincerely offering help if he/she has a problem leaving singapore because i know of someone who can help.

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