Posted by
Ed
12 yrs ago
CAN men and women be friends? We have been asking ourselves that question for a long time, and the answer is usually no. The movie “When Harry Met Sally...” provides the locus classicus. The problem, Harry famously explains, is that “the sex part always gets in the way.” Heterosexual people of the opposite sex may claim to be just friends, the message goes, but count on it — wink, wink, nudge, nudge — something more’s going on. Popular culture enforces the notion relentlessly. In movie after movie, show after show, the narrative arc is the same. What starts as friendship (Ross and Rachel, Monica and Chandler) ends up in bed.
More http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/08/opinion/sunday/a-man-a-woman-just-friends.html?src=me&ref=general
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Ed, my answer to your question is certainly 'Yes'. I'm a woman and have a few male friends for years. We never felt anything beyond friendship. The main reason is that we know exactly what we want and focused on it. Deep in mind, I believe that we also cherish this friendship and would hate to have it ruined with anything.
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Why Men and Women Cant be friends: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
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the video just shows that men are more honest in dealing with women around them.
and it is true men and women can not be just friends, provided right conditions they will eventually end up in bed sooner or later.. and then they will say ohh it was just alcohol.. and it was just this one time...
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The best way for Men and Women to be friends is if the Woman is extremely unattractive; nose hair, facial hair, armpit hair, hairy legs, body odour, bad breathe, doesn't shower often, no make-up, horrible clothes, farting & burping problem, yellow/brown/green teeth plus a few missing. That would certainly help me keep my distance...
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Three of my oldest friends are female. One is the ex-wife of an old friend, we used to kick around together, and have remained friends. Another is a former girlfriend who married somebody else, much to my chagrin at the time, but I got over it, and became friends with her husband. They also have divorced, and the original friendship has survived. The third is a friend from church youth group days.
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an honest opinion from Zenme Ban
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Zenme and Syed - based on your opinion, I'm wondering if you could be easily distracted. It's just a character analysis.
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Zenme and Syed - sorry, please ignore my above words, which might cause misunderstanding. My intention was lost in translation. Your opinion is interesting. Do you mean, pretty women have less chance to make male friends?
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i am a man and i am attracted towards women period
the intensity of attraction may vary based on the woman's beauty/brains/personality etc ..
every woman have some quality which attracts man, some may have dazzling beauty some may have personality, some may have character.
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I think we can be friends
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I have had a good number of male friends over the years with whom I have lovely platonic relationships. I value my time with them and our conversations are completely different to those I have with my girl friends. It helps to give balance and perspective to have friends of both sexes.
...but I will admit, that I'm sure if the circumstances were right, the majority of my male friends would be receptive to 'more'. It's human nature! Men are sexually opportunistic creatures and I think many would put getting laid/friends with benefits, in front of being just friends.
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Absolutely....if you are not intimate at all....
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Normally no, but occasionally yes.
You have to get past the 'tension' stage, and it can't be forced, it will either happen or it wont. When the idea of any kind of physical interaction between you makes you want to throw up, but you really enjoy hanging out, then you are friends.
This has only ever happened to me once. I have a lot of female friends, but they aren't 'friends' in the same way as my guy friends.
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women - yes it is possible for women to maintain good friendship with men
Men - it is not possible, as explained by a few friends here, they easily go non-platonic as they are physically attracted to the women in a very short time.. So it is not possible for men and women to be just platonic friends. Men are the real weaker sex... :)
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do men become impotent after age of 40 ?
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I do have female friends, but at many times, i got physically attracted to them and always wanted to have romance with them. Still trying to control my urge and I feel i can never be just friends with a woman who is of same age or younger to me... I never like to have friends with women who are older than me, I dont know why, i asked myself several times why i cant control my sexual desires when I am with young girls, I cant stop myself flirting with them. It is crazy but dont know why i get attracted. my apolgies, i have been born like that.... but dont read between the lines, I never forced myself on anyone and i always behaved in a most civilized and decent way, although i carried this non-platonic thoughts in my mind.
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From reading these replies it seems like women can be friends with men but men can't be friends with women.
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One of my best friends, someone who will always be my friend no matter what is a guy. He is very happily married to his wife of 10 years with four children and has never been attracted to me as far as I can tell. I've never fancied him either, and now I'm happily married to my husband of a month and a half. I used to kick him under the table in English lessons.
Regardless of the outcome of this discussion, we will remain friends forever. We still email each other while I live in Hong Kong and I'll pop round to visit him when we go back to the UK for a holiday.
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Depends on your maturity and ability to control your libido. For some guys it's impossible... or they are just too weak willed... you can;t really generalize.
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Men can be friends with women, once they get over initial attraction (if there is any). Its easy to be friends with a girl who is not that good looking, but there too, if she has a great personality and is fun to be around, that bit of underlying tension has to pass before you get to that "WTF? I would never! She's like my sister!" phase.
My brother had so many best friends who were girls when he was in high-school and university that we all clocked him for being gay! But nope, of the whole lot of his female friends, and he is still friends with them now, he only slept with the sluttiest one of them, and she was the one who jumped him...this was after they had been friends almost a decade. He had gone to meet her after she had broken up with yet another douche of a bf, they got drunk while she cried on his shoulder, and before you know it...they ended up in bed together. It was a one off, they are still friends, but yeah...it happens.
So well, I suppose a guy would never really say no to sex with a hot chick, even if its his best friend, but its not always the best idea.
Is it possible for a guy and girl to be platonic friends? Yes, it is. Even with friends, you tend to hang with people who are similar to you, lookswise and interest wise, so its rare to have a friend, male or female, that you think is just plain yuk. Would there be potential for you to find them bedable? Maybe, but I think more likely than not its going to be the last thing on your mind once you have a good rapport going.
There is the unwritten rule of platonic male-female friendships, especially in a big group of friends, do not, ever, crap where you eat. So yeah, don't screw a friend coz then the whole group of friends suffer when you two break up! This unwritten rule stands a lot of platonic-male-female friendships in good stead. I've never had a problem following the rules.
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Sure they can, provided the woman is unattractive enough:) Don't shoot the messenger--unless you're an unattractive woman
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seago
12 yrs ago
Men can be friend for me if he 1/ is not attractive to me; or 2/ is not available.
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