Feeling guilty !!!



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by crystalmermaid 17 yrs ago
I have been married for 4 yrs and have done way too much to make my husband like me, but in vain. love is far far thing, he doesnt even like me at all. i come from a background where getting seperated is not that easy.

Now, i met someone who i have started to like, (though I dont know anything about him, i know him hardly for 20 days), I wait to see him once, i like to talk to him all the time.This guy treats me very nicely. now the thing is at the same time, i feel guilty. I have no right to like someone coz I am already married.


after all this, now my husband has suddenly started to treat me nicely. it came as a shock to me, coz this was a sudden change. this is confusing me more.


Am i crazy or is it normal to get attracted to someone like that.


I am thinking of cutting this guy out of my life completely. Am I doing the right thing?


I am open to all suggestions and critisism. I just need mental peace as this situation is making me crazy.



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COMMENTS
crystalmermaid 17 yrs ago
Dear Carmen,


Thanks for your reply. all you said is truth.

I did love my husband a lot, really a lot. I have taken enuf sh*t from him and his family just to make this relationship work.

I have talked to him many times about why he doesnt like me, but all i get is, coz we dont match with each other, we are completely different, and that he just doesnt like, there is no reason. he thinks i have too many shortcomings in me.

its arranged marriage.

i dont want to cheat on mu husband, all i want is to be happy.

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bdi 17 yrs ago
Its normal to get attractd to someone like that but at this stage its infatuation and will be easy to overcome since its only 20 days. Cut him out and try to work on your marriage and see where it leads. Sometimes it takes a distraction to make things work.

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crystalmermaid 17 yrs ago
Dear Carmen,


my husband says now he wants to make things work. but now, damage is already done. what should i do. shall i give him another chance.

another thing is , i am here on dependent's visa. if i leave him, my visa will be invalid and i dont want to go back to my country.

financial thing is not a problem as i am employed and earn enuf to survive here.

aaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh...............i am going crazy thinking all this.

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crystalmermaid 17 yrs ago
well, i dont want to hurt him, after all i am married to him. and i dont want to cheat on him. if ever i have to leave him, i will tell him beforehand. yeah, you are right, i wish he had made these efforts a little earlier. counsellor and therapist are out of picture. my husband will never go to one. all i want is to be happy. visa is also one thing, as i cant live here legally if he wont sponsor me.

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crystalmermaid 17 yrs ago
dear carmen,


thanks for the reply. visa is a secondary thing. my company can apply for my visa, thats not a problem.

well, i am trying to figure out how to keep myself happy as of now. dunno yet if i should give my husband another chance or move on.

i will try to go for counselling and see if that helps. i am sick and tired of being unhappy all the time.

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