Trick of a life.....time

My gf is suffering from breast cancer and she's having a chemotherapy right now. She also underwent a surgery last year and in a few weeks time, she needs to go at it again.


Her motivation, career, physical health drops and she always in anger. I understand what she's been through and sometimes she will vent her anger to me especially after the chemotherapy.


It's fine with me but the reason why I'm here now is that I want to ask more opinion how to deal and motivate her to live.


I am here in Hong Kong and she's in LA.

I think u need to be with her.


God bless u.

Flloyd > it's not easy knowing every day that you have your time to live. Seeing your health drastically declining and losing yourself to CANCER.


I, myself hate this. I love this girl so much and the only thing I can do now is to motivate her.


Someonerun > I would love to be with her but she prefer not for the reason that she dont want me to see her in this situation.



Mayechka > Yes her cancer is fatal and I'm hoping that her Chemotheraphy will kill all the cancer cells. She needs to undergo to operation again as the cancer is spreading rapidly on the other side.


I'm hoping for her recovery.

Dear Chrissie > Everyday is a struggle and I'm really trying to lift her spirits up. I never talked to her and make her feel that she is sick.


It's not easy to pretend thinking that maybe oneday she will not survive this ordeal. I can only show my weaknesses here.


I know somehow, God has a beautiful plan for us.



Nemesis > She's taking a lot of medicine plus the chemo and the radiation. I worry because she lose her weight dramatically low. She always sleep near the toilet as she keeps vommiting after her session with chemo's.


At this stage travelling is the least part in her mind. I would like to visit her but she always insisted me not to go and see her in that condition.


She said that it may not help her confidence if I will se her like that. I'm confused. I can't control things.


Thanks for all your support and comments guys.

Abra Cadabra--


I had cancer too (cervix). I also underwent 6 courses of chemotherapy and 28 sessions of daily radiation after radical hysterectomy. Those were the most trying times in my life, in my relationship with my husband and my family.


My healing started with having positive thoughts, and insisting that friends and family do likewise. I printed out reading material for my husband and my mom so they too can understand what I will be going through. I also surrounded myself ONLY with success stories, spiritual books, flowers in the house and whatever source of positive energy I can get hold of.


Each person experiencing cancer has different ways of coping. Your girlfriend might say that she doesn't want you around, but, if you can, being with her to physically and emotionally support her will help her get through the difficult times.


In the meantime, email her true to life success stories about people who beat cancer. My brother gave me Lance Armstrong's first book and it was a good nudge towards the right direction. His case was a lot worse than mine and he survived it. And the rest you know..


Order flowers for her online.


Contact her friends and start a brigade to rally her daily recovery and to cheer her up. I know it can get draining, so it would help if you and her friends can take turns.


Contact a cancer support group in her area and find out how they (and you) can support her.


A pet will do wonders too. When I was having chemo, my two labs kept me busy and cheery..


And as for you "pretending thinking that she might not survive this ordeal", toss that thought out the window! The best thing you can do for her is to first believe that she can pull this through.


Stay positive. Do this for her and do this for yourself.

Nemesis > I'm prepared for whatever physical changes that occured to her. I did brought out the topic ( see and take care of her ) long time ago and most recently but she always changing the topics.


Pumpkin > I can see my GF reactions in you but how'd I wish she make up her mind and think differently.


Annebin > This I dont understand, she doesn't want her friends to help her too. I'm trying to support her in this most difficult times of her life.


I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Part of supporting her is also understanding where she is coming from with his kind of attitude.


I'm thinking she might be avoiding friends for fear of feeling their pity. Her friends need not be physically there beside her, but from experience, I appreciated getting flowers and cheery, get-well letters from my friends. Sometimes the sympathy of others can be suffocating so don't overdo it..


Respect her need to be alone, but don't let go of her hand.

:(

ur a very good man abra cadabra, for ur deep concern for ur gf.... i'm sure she appreciates u so much.... there are times that silence is the best thing we can give an ill person.... but that doesnt mean we care less..... we just give the space they need and in time, they will reach out when they need us....we just need to reassure them over and over again that we are at their side ALL the time....

Annebin > So sorry for my late reply. I will try my very best to understand and respect her need to be alone.


Docjm > It's almost been a year that I started this thread hoping that one day I can give you all the encouragements and motivations that I am capable to. I am here to share my burden to anyone who is willing to enlighten and give me more strength to help and support you.

I am not expecting to see you here, you're asking me to give you space and time. I really dont know what to do and I wish that I could make you happy by giving in to your request.

I am assuring you that I am always at your side and I can feel what you had been through. I love you so much and more each day. Stay positive. I need you more than in my life. Give me the chance to take care of you. Marry me.