Do you think he cheated on me?

Been married 25 years, hes turns 51 this month, I am 48. He travel most of the time & has an apartment in another state for work. Always had a very close relationship, never had any doubt he would cheat on me. Mid Dec. I could not contact him by cell, wasn't that a big deal, thought I would leave him message to call back next day, but something just told me something is not right, so I continued to call him till 2 in morning. Never been jealous or he is not either. Next day he return my call & sounded very strange, asked him what was wrong and he hesitated and said nothing, the next words out of my mouth was, Have you been cheating on me? I don't know why I said it or didn't even know I was even thinking such a thing. He didn't answer me, then I asked 2 more times are you their & he finally answered with, What would ever make you think that? Had 1 more conversation that day & he still would not the question so I dropped it. 3 days later he came down with Shingles, can be caused from stress, then the 2-3 times a day phone calls stopped & 2 wks later I received divorce papers in the mail which was a total shock and I am not dumb and would have know if he had been messing around before this happened? So what do you think?, did he cheat and couldn't lived with the quilt? Added note, we had a 1-2 million dollar estate & live in Texas were everthing is spilt in half if you have been married 10 yrs or more, unless you can prove that he cheated then I would get more.

unfortunately even though ivana trump SAID that, she didn't actually get everything...in fact i think she got a relatively paltry settlement after her divorce.


unhappy: sorry to hear this has happened to you. whether he cheated or not, the bottom line is that he now wants a divorce and, we can safely conclude, a new life without you in it. now get into work mode and hire a good lawyer. s/he may or may not advise you to hire private investigator to get evidence of cheating - depends on your divorce strategy (do you only want to know if he cheated or not, or do you want to get the biggest settlement possible under your marriage jurisdiction?). good luck....

Thanks to all for the sound advice. I also thought he had cheated and have a paper trail for were he frequents, but proving it will be the hardest part since it happen about a month ago and has since moved to another state. I am planning on getting everything I deserve and for my minor child also. Just wish I would have been smart enough at the time to have had someonefollow him. I do have excellent counsel and hope they will find out the real truth. After 25 yrs, I may still be blonde, but that doesn't mean I am a dumb blone.

For my two cents worth.


He may well have had a fling, but


If it is over, it is over.


Don't spend years slugging out over the settlement. Don't try to punish him, it only makes you bitter.

Try and go for a simple quick settlement, get closure and get on with your new life, and new found freedom.

It took me 5 years to get a divorce, and this was a no fault divorce. A lot of time (both of our lives) was unescessarily wasted, when we both could have been getting on with our new lives.

unhappy, I tend to agree with Nemesis.


If he was not cheating on you, there would be no reason for this behaviour and the sudden divorce papers. Get your lawyers to get what you deserve. You have given him 25 of the best years of your life, which is an infinite value...worth trillions....


Get hold of the info, and this leads, I am sure to an extra marital affair ....of some proportion...there will be proof somewhere....