Posted by
Cristal
17 yrs ago
I have a married friend who recently started a fling with a married man. I say fling because she claims that they are not having sex yet. My friend has 2 kids, both still very young. Any advice on what I should do or say to open her eyes?
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ceeh
17 yrs ago
Ask your friend how she would feel if she discovered her husband was having a 'fling' with another woman. Pretty devastated I would think.
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Peet
17 yrs ago
Asking her to consider her own feelings if she found out that her husband was having an affair may not be all that effective at this point. She must be at a point where her feelings for her husband have diminished quite a bit (or she wishes to purposely hurt him) and so it may be difficult for her to understand the consequences of her actions. She may still have feelings for her children, however. She might want to consider how her actions will effect THEM and THEIR future. If she could see the probable outcome of her actions (destroying not only her own marriage but also the marriage of her "lover", and the effects that this will have on the emotional health of her children), it might help her to think twice.....but she is also probably too infatuated to understand how ugly things can, and likely will, get in the future. Perhaps some counseling would be appropriate, even if her husband is not involved. That's a difficult situation you are in!
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jwm
17 yrs ago
Apparently since my last post was deleted, I cannot give the advise I think, which is, not to say anything, as it is her business and really not anyone elses business.
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Kiwie
17 yrs ago
The grass is NEVER greener on the other side!!
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A lot of married people have friendships where feelings get invovled, it does not always lead to sex. As a freined I would do as suggested above, ask to think about if a fling is worth the risk throwing away what she has at present.
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Hi Crystal,
If you are the so-called "Friend", I suggest you wake up and stop playing with fire.
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If your friend trust you and tell you this secret, you can tell her your honest feeling about it, you dont have to agree with her. If you speak from your heart I think she would appreciate.
Just beware that she is not asking you to be a judge ....
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Well... as someone who gets ZERO attention from men in Hong Kong, I can understand what would make a woman want to have a none sex involved fling with a guy who she's friends with. As long as it's just flirting and there's no kissing or touching or anything like that, where's the harm?
If she has two young children, she might just need someone to make her feel attractive. I'm not saying it's right or it's ok, but it's understandable. I think a lot of women probably do the same.
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She is an adult now and she should be capable of making her own decisions. If you feel obliged to give her a warning, do so but very carefully. If you want to save your friendship with her, just be sure that she won't be able to come back to you later and accuse you of not saying this and that to her.
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