Posted by
once_loved
19 yrs ago
ok my boyfriend gave me his password to his email and told me i could use it when ever i wanted... well i saw a few emails that got me curious because they were from a bunch of other girls.... so i went searching and started tofind sexual comments to them from him and so after that i was even more curious than before and so i went and read throught his conversations he was having and i found that he was not only hitting on them but asking them out and not even telling them he had a girlfriend.so they were haveing conversations and throughout them all he was saying i like you alot i want to be with you etc. my question is Am i doing the right things by invaded his privacy in his emails and spying on him through those??????
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tia
19 yrs ago
He gave you his password?? I have to admit, I find that hard to believe.
It is not the right thing ot snoop in someone's private things. If he *gave* you the password, I would have to question whether or not he WANTS to get caught.
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He might want u to dump him because this is a way to get his freedom back.
Did you notice anything strange lately? Like neglectence?
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no he hasnt showed any neglectence what so ever, and he hasnt been acting strange or anything... and when he gave me him password itwas before anyof these chicks ever started to email him....
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A sign that he was just bored? Playing like a little naughty boy or something?
Ever thought of playing naughty games with him to keep him busy? Because if you confront him with what you know, u might damage of what you have now.
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hey maybe your right he mght have been bored... hmm try somthing and tell all of you how it goes...
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Cool, use your imagination! And provoke as much as you can with a new dresscode!
Good luck!
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thanks ill tell you all about it and its results after wards
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I would be so upset about it, maybe he was bored one night and went online in a chat room....I don't know but it would make me very upset. Confront him about it, I hope everything works out.
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yea believe last night when i posted this i was still finding more info on it.... i found out yesterday he was cheating so i was in hysterics lol but yea i am goin to try and livin things up with us and report back to ya about it
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Oh No why keep it going if he was cheatin? actually I recently found some "friendly" emails from some co-workers of my BF. They were innocent but I get the feeling from their emails that they have more interest then he does.....I read his response to the girls email and feel that he is telling her he does not hve time to email or talk to her.....I'm a bit concerned because we are in a LDR and he and she might get bored and who knows??? I am scared that he will just hook up out of boredom.....I know he loves me...but love is not selfish.....and I am afrid he is.....
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omg my thats exactly how me and my bf are... its a LDR and i kno he loves me but i think he might have done it out of boredom...
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lulu
19 yrs ago
Strange.. why girls these days always want to know the ugly but true reality?
either they pack their bags and leave...or either they stay away from these emails/sms...do they think it is a challenge or it's kinda of exciting cos her boyfriend attracts other women?
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You got that right so you sayin I am in denial....he is out there messing around, thats how people do it....they avoid like the plague.
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I don't know why I am torturing myself about this. I have cheated my friends have cheated (cheated as dating messing around not in love or emotions....just fun) we are all human should I just except it....I guess when you get to the point where you are cheating on someone....it is not working out that well.
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Once loved....what has happened since you confronted your BF? what happened? Did he tel you the story about these girls?
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Am I getting this right??
You find out from snooping on your b/fs e-mail that he is trying to pick up other women and may probably have already slept with at least one. Instead of confronting him on it, you decide to spice up your wardrobe and get his attention with a makeover???
Classic!!
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Interesting ... I have been stupid all those years being faithful.
It seems to be a matter of integrity and respect (self respect and respect of your partner). You are with someone, you are with someone. This messing around story is for people who don't know what they want.
Once Loved and very cute girl : Someone cheats on you : bang -> out ! This person does not really love you. LDR is tough, but it is not an excuse.
Anyway, that's just my call. You should dump the guy and you will feel better.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Betrayal tains the relashionship : no matter how the level of trust is not there any more.
If it is a loving relashionship, it should remain pure.
Of course cheating once does not mean cheating twice. That would be a too broad generalization.
But why people cheat ?
1 - Something is missing in the relashionship. It could be spice, it could be communication ...
2 - They do not respect their partner enough to live with that thing missing, and go selfishly fishing for what they miss. Without caring for the damage they are doing.
You know you are in the right relashionship when you can meet a very attractive person from the opposite sex and just appreciate it. Not feeling something is missing.
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Once_loved... how did you get your BF's email password? Did he specify that he was comfortable with you reading his email anytime you like?
I once gave a girlfriend my email password, but in a very specific context. I was away from my computer and needed some information that was in my yahoo email account. I asked her to login for me and get the information I needed. After that, I would have been quite annoyed if she proceeded to use my password to read my email.
Mind you, I never cheated on her, nor gave her any reason to doubt my integrity.
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ok everyone, he gave me the password to use his acount when i wanted to... me and him talked about cheating and he siad he wouldnt and that we had already been over this... anywho i was never wanting to snoop until i started seeing comments to girls saying he wants to be with them and do this and that with them (sexual things). and right now i am un able to contact him because he is in south dakotah for thanksgiving to visit with his bro and his bros Fiance... i am goin to obviously talk to him about it and see what is going on, and if he lies to me about it then i am most likely going to end it because i dont want to be with someone who is cheating on me and then lieing to me about it, i would rather him tell me the truth and then we settle thigns but IF he does lie to me which i think he will because he already has... then i am goin to end it... and also listen to this, the times that he was haveing a conversation through email was the exact times that i was on the phone with him talkin to him about cheating and he said he would never do it to me, when at the very moment he was doin it.... what should i do about it now?
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OMG that hurts, I am sorry. He needs to be straightened out. I definately would confront him, he gave you the password. You read something and put the pieces together, you are not stupid. Take care of this now, if he is writing sexual things to other women bad sign... not acceptable. Break it off with him, make him sorry. It is painful....
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yea that i think is what ia m goin to do once i get totalk to him and see "his side of the story" or aka what fib he tells me thanks guys for helping me out...
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Once Loved...I wish you the best, I tried calling my BF tonight he did not pick up, I saw one email from one girl 10 days ago...maybe it is nothing but I know how it feels to be blown away by something so unexpected and it is like a nightmare when you put so much trust in someone. I know if I catch my BF writing sexual things it would break my heart and even though he wrote Hi Babe to this girl....very platonic email.....it makes me crazy. I am not going to call my BF and see if I can get myself to be stronger about this stuff...
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yea well trust me he hasbroken my heart now i found all this out yesterday.. all by myself and then today i talked to one girl he was doin this with and she said he never even told her he even had a gf and that he asked her out and her friend.... so right now i dont think my heart can sink any further...
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I think that was a good idea emailing the girl...did she tell you the story? so you have proof and all
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Sometimes it is not hard having trust for a LDR to work but it is so hard when you trust breaks.....did you to plan for the future in any way? Did you pan to move in together? Just curious if there were signs that he wanted freedom or another relationship...Please let me know how the talk with him goes
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lulu
19 yrs ago
well all this broken hearted stories about cheating boyfriends? i prefer to be alone.
Why bother in a relationship that hurts?
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It just gets better and better.
You've been reading his mail, found he has been trying to pick up other girls and now you have spoken to one of these girls.
It sounds like an episode from 'Cheaters', lol.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Brought a box of tissue and a big mug of chocolate icecream.
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For your vewing pleasure Evohe??
JCPD - yes and you can watch it right here in HK!!! It's on Reality TV. Caught an episode by accident last Saturday. Was hilarious and grotesque at the same time. Like Jerry Springer with a bad hangover.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Sorry it was sarcastic. Ooops could not help.
Anyway, it is tought to get out of a relashionship when you are cheated. You always feel it will get better afterwards. But it will not. Tough call, but that like gangrene, you have to cut. Not healthy.
That was my part of group cuddling
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shaq
19 yrs ago
It depends on my definitions of sexual words and 'hitting'. Perhaps, it's nothing at all.
Supposing it is true that your bf gave you his email pass, then he wanted you to know what he's been up..... reasoning.. perhaps, he's fed up of you and would like you to leave, instead of him breaking up with you. Does this help? Well...... Good luck.
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lulu
19 yrs ago
must be the girls in asia xpats !! hahahahahaha
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ol
honesty and trust are 2 of the bedrock foundations...
when u have "termite damage" this bad, time to move out, girl
i know it sucks but u gotta be strong and find someone else who truly appreciates you
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Awful truth, ol, u do deserve better. Cheerio,
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It happened everywhere everytime. My boyfriend even told me how he take on a charming girl. And always, at the end of the talk, he will say you are the only one I really loved. Wheather it's ture or not I don't want to confirm.
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ok thank you all for you help i still cant talk tohim yet because he is outof town visiting his bro for thanksgiving and he should be back sunday or monday.... and yes that girl did tell me the story and yes i have full proof now that he is trying to hook up with other girls... ~tear well anyways i am goin to ttalk to him when he gets back and see what he has to say about it and if he lies to me well thats the worst thing he can do now.... but if he tells me the truth then i will keep talkin to him about it and see what he wants to do and then hopefully agree on somthing that we both want.... and yes i was planning to move in with him inhis apartment he asked me to actually last week and of course i agreed to it so i am supposedto be moving in there soon.... well now i am not for sure if i am wanting to anymore after all this... and yea he has used the "your the only one i truely love" thing with me well now ikno the real truth....
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I am sorry this is eating me up because I have no proof that my BF is doing anything but the distance and not knowing what he is doing is bothering me, it is so hard because we are planning on a future too. These guys do these things because the are lonely, bored and selfish and something is missing. Is it worth it to still be with them? I don't know.....
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i really dont kno either at this point in time.... i really hate knowing that he is out there screwing around with some gal and the worst thing about this is he doesnt tell these woman that he has a gf or is taken and not single so yea i dont get as mad with the girls because they dont kno he is taken.... and here is another worst part i am engaged to him and now that i see this i dunno what to do...
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My BF just changed his password to the account we share for him and I have not talked to him about the email I found.....I am now stunned, and I think this is a really bad sign
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My BF just changed his password to the account we share for him and I have not talked to him about the email I found.....I am now stunned, and I think this is a really bad sign
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My BF just changed his password to the account we share for him and I have not talked to him about the email I found.....I am now stunned, and I think this is a really bad sign
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I want to know if he has nothing to hide....why did he change the passcode that is bad right? maybe I am wrong for looking at it but he is a jerk for changing it.....he has no idea that I was looking at it, unless yahoo sent him something? I dont know what is going on and I dont like it
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yes thats how i was when i saw my bfs emails i couldnt believe my eyes atfirst i thought omg this is just a dream or this isnt happening i am seeing things, but then i kept seeing more emails and then i knew it was reality
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I only saw one email it was platonic but now he is hiding it from me....I cant trust him I think I want out
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I find it disgusting that he is being evasive now and not emailing me about this ....he I think is online now I am waiting for a email from him telling me I was wrong to be on his account....I did set it up for him. If it is nothing why did he now change the passcode
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thats odd, i dunno what i should say to my bf about this whole thing anyway, i dont kno if i should act mad or upset or concerned or calm i have no clue
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tell him the truth I guess, maybe it is best to have straight foward communication, I am so shocked that my BF has done this and I bet he is shocked too....it is a big wake up call here
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yea i kno when i read these emails boy was i awake both just metaphorically but also physically... i didnt sleep the other night when i found out, instead i went into a nervous break down and well got sick
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Yea I know...this is harsh...you know I recently met this couple and I went to their wedding, my friend I went with told me that the groom up until 2 weeks before the wedding was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend, they did this for sometime before the wedding....I saw the bride she was so happy to be getting married, it just is sad to me....he was cheating on her and now they are married....I don't know once a cheater always a cheater???
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yea thats what i always thought once a cheater always a cheater, i thought this because if they do it once and you forgive them on it they will do it again because they kno your goin to forigve them again and again in the end
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I just wrote my BF an email here it is....
I am mad you did not pick up the phone last night.....I am mad because I checked your yahoo account and you wrote some girl HI BABE.......now you changed the account so I can't look at it, are you trying to hide. I don't feel good about this at all. I am sure you are pissed at me but whats up with you.....you make me think you are looking to get laid out there....I am home every night so good and loyal. Now I KNOW I sound a bit crazy...but this is not good he is trying to hide, LDR's are hard and I need to know what he was trying to do.
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I thought your bf deliberately let you know and hope you 'll breakup with him, as most men won't want to make the decision of breakup
How can a man be so dump to give you an account password while he at the same time ask all his playing chicks to email to this address and discuss the sex?
It just take you 5 mins to set up a free account at hotmail or yahoo to give to those chicks. Why should he give this accont to those chicks that you are using?
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well he does not have a computer and I do this for him because he needed a work account....it is was a platonic email and probably is nothing because he has a personal account, I probably was wrong to look at the work account and check it...because it is just for work. The only bad thing he wrote was HI Babe...but now he knows and changed it, I have trust issues and he knows that but decides to change it anyway
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yeathat is true now i am thinking of makin a new sn on messanger and mailing him and seeing what he says
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yea i have trust problems too now with him because of this
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the personal account he will not give me access to, and he does not want access to mine either. I know I should trust him but why would he change his yahoo account it bothers me....he is hiding am I wrong?
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its sounds like he is but i dunno him to well so i cant say ...
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yea he is hiding and I don't like it....I am really torn....as you must be.....maybe you should not give him a heads up about this because you have to put him on the spot....sh he cant get out of it
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So you have to wait till MOnday or Sun??? You cant talk to him sooner?
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this sucks I wrote that stupid email to my BF have not talked to him about it, I think he might be on the computer now possibly...I think I maybe over reacting to this situation....I feel like I could lose him because I jumped to conclusions, and now he will be pissed that I went into his account that I set up....and he probably will be very mad that I don't trust him. He has told me this will always be my problem....I don't trust. However, he tells me stuff that he would not be interested in other co-workers but I should worry about the sweedish girls at the bar....great so what he can go out and get laid? He is lonely and he tells me that, he does not always remind me that he wants me and no one else....Im very loyal
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yea i cant talk to him till sunday or monday, yes i kno i will prolly go nuts waiting that long
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yea i am very loyal too i have never thought about goin for another guy because ilove my bf to much to ever need to do that no matter what
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Yes you should write all your feelings and thoughts and talk to friends...it will eat you up, I am dying to talk to my BF about what just happened...I feel really bad about not trusting him.....and I don't like it when he tells me to call him and does not answer the phone....he is up to something I think...
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Did he your BF meet these girls? Did he just have a internet relationship? He met them where?
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i dunno if he has met them or where he met them i never found that out
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yea I know that is a hard one anyway to get into....but when you talked to the girl did she tell you anything....did she say to leave him what did she say or think?
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she just told me what he told her and that she thinks it cute that we are engaged
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She said it was cute? that you 2 were engaged? He talked to her about you? I am confused, well if he told her about you then it is a diffrent story?
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no i asked her and then i told her that he has a gf and that it was me and no he didnt i had to tell her myself about me and him
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i had to tell her about me and him so she would know he is lieing to her
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how long were they talking or dating or whatever they were doing did she tell you? I don't mean to pry but it could be that he was testing the waters...this friend I have just got engaged and he asked the girl to marry after a year....he is now talking to a GF of mine that is also engaged he is going out after work with her....it is innocent now, but she knows he likes her, she like him....they are both engaged to other people....why do this to themselves...something in their relationships is not right? They both are attracted to one another....
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I had a similar experience. My ex boyfriend gave me his password without me asking for it. I only open his email when he tells me to. I still respect his privacy but then again when you have opened "pandora's box" you can't seem to stop. I did found out a lot of things that led him to be my ex! Learned my lesson. Steer clear when he gives you his password.
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once loved? Sorry to put it to you this way, but if you feel the need to talk with him to hear "his side of the story" about what you ALREADY KNOW & have proof off, you are actually giving him an opportunity to lie and tell you what you want to hear.
If he tells you what you WANT to hear, you'll want to believe it (it's typical), and if you do, you're only setting yourself up for futher heartbreak. Remember, first time shame on them, second time, shame on you.
I know it's painful to hear it so straight out on the line like that, but it is what it is.
If you've already made the decision to walk away - there is no talking...only walking.
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Now I am confused? How come I got all crap on my thread on the womens only section, for checking my bf's mail??? Apparently there are people who do. And yes...however much you say you believe in privacy and respect him...if you have access to his mail who wouldn't be curious???
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I feel for you once loved. Be brave.
Very cute girl- I dont think he is hiding anything. Be upfront and talk to him...tell him you feel hurt that he calls someone else babe ...communication is the key to happiness.
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Well to be honest..there is some sort of excitment going through a mail sent by one of his female friends...and feels great when apparently he's ignoring the mail or writes back just to show courtesy...i mean he probably couldnt show such commitment even if he made an effort one on one with you.
And Pumkin...ofcourse there are people like me...read this thread...maybe you should try it...or live in a world of bliss like someone said before..:)
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