Acquitance that seems to seriously flirt with men even though she is married and I know her husband

I have a friend that I have known for a while but only recently spent some time with her socially. I invited her to a few things with my friends and both times she came out without her husband. One time he was overseas and another time he was tired from work.

He is a great guy, works hard, no oil painting but great personality. She is what I thought was a lovely girl, she doesn't work as he is a great provider and guess he thinks he won the lotto because she is attractive.

Anyway, the first time we went out with my friends, we bumped into a male friend of one of my girlfriends in a nightclub. He doesn't live here and also is no oil painting and throughout the night they were holding hands rubbing each other's backs, hugging, he was kissing her all over her face, but not the lips (not that it makes it any better) and I physically had to break them up and drag her home.

She told me never to tell her husband anything and naturally I didn't, then she told me that she had dinner with this guy the following night before he flew back home.

I really just thought ok perhaps she was so happy to be out, as she doesn't go out and sort of lost all common sense but found it very strange anyway.

Then I invited her and her husband to a dinner function and her husband decided not to go as he was tired from work. He is a really decent person.

Anyway, it was a lovely dinner party, amazing setting and then all of the sudden she is sitting next to one of girlfriends, casual romantic partners, nothing serious but a casual fling she has and this girl and him are starring into each other's eyes, she has her hand on his check, rubbing it. He is rubbing her face with one hand and his other hand is on her knee. Basucally they look like a full on couple.

My girlfriend is going crazy as this is her fling and one of the other married girls at the table tells her that her behaviour is unacceptable and she starts to cry, throws a glass of wine at the girl that told her about her behaviour and swore at her.

I then had to drag her home again because she wanted another guy at the party to drive her home.

I paid the cab, she didn't even wait for me and stormed out of the cab.

Haven't heard from her since, but find this behaviour seriously troubling. They don't have children, think they don't want any, but when she is with her husband, she is so quiet and well behaved, he has no idea what is going on and I will never say anything, but has anyone out there ever experienced anything like this with their girlfriends?

The night ended in a mess and naturally spoiled the evening for everyone.

I know she is lonely and I am sure she is looking for attention anywhere she can find it, but with this type of behaviour I think she should either be single or re-evaluate her marriage. Any ideas?

Thanks for your replies. They are both Americans and she moved here to be with him. She doesn't have any friends. He is very quiet and works seriously long hours. I have never talked to her husband about any of this and will never do that. However, I was the one inviting her out and I certainly wouldn't let her stay and have any of these men drive her home after this type of behaviour all night. We live in the same building so we went together and after I saw all of this, I told her we will definately go home together.

Can't imagine her to be a sex addict but then again I think she is probably craving attention, because her husband is so busy with work and tired think she doesn't get it from him.

I now think back about a few conversations and she told me she would have lunch with her tennis coach and when his girlfriend would come it was uncomfortable, I guess she was probably doing the same thing with the tennis coach. Anyway, that has stopped but no idea if it stopped because something could of started and they decided to cool things or for other reasons.

If It were me I would let this acquaintance fizzle out, and not develop into a friendship.

She may be bubbly and fun to be with, but she may not be a very nice girl.


You could get sucked into something ugly, or just sucked into compromising your own moral standards to cover for her.


Yes you may get some vicarious thrill, but I would be careful for myself.

I'm having a barbeque this weekend. You are both invited. It's going to be hot so dress accordingly.

Can I come to the bbq... this sounds like a lot of fun.


However we shouldn't laugh at your expense but your friend is clearly troubled and no amount of speculating will help you define her issues. But I would suggest you evaluate your relationship closely and look at the positives and negatives of staying in a friendship with this girl.

Thanks for the addition of humour. I actually talked to her two days ago and she apologised for her behaviour for both the times she acted like this and said she knew it was inappropriate but she is having or was having issues with her husband. All very sad if one has to behave like this if they have issues with their partner. She said she did this to get at him, but yet he doesn't anything about either night. I don't know what problems they have in their marriage, I believe it is a lack of love from her side and serious boredom but she had to say something to me as she couldn't avoid it. I have decided that I will not invite her out at night as her husband is so busy and tired he will never come and this will happen again. We always see each other during the day because we live in the same building and go to the same places, so this is fine, she can't put herself into this situation during the day. At least I would hope not!

she is american? so come on ... what a question ...

Yes they are both Americans, but you know I find Americans to always want to get married ASAP and play domestic bliss. They are definately more into playing house than a lot of Western Europeans and I don't find them to be dangerous flirts at all. Anyway, I guess her karma would not be the best with all of this and she has to live with it.