Posted by
24
12 yrs ago
I have a few questions about custody of my children if I leave my husband.
If I do leave him, can I go out of HK with my children or do I need written consent from my husband?
Is the law in HK more favorable towards the mum or dad? Does the mum automatically get custody over the kids?
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i am no expert but do read up on the den haag convention which makes you an abductor if you take your kids out of hong kong without your partners' consent.
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This person is clearly weighing up the feasibility of abducting her children from their father. See a previous post of hers where she is a little more direct in her questions.
While we're offering her advice about how to maximize her financial gain from the situation, who's warning the dad of the potential abduction of his children?
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That thread seems to have disappeared...
24 you were given some great advice by Bigglesworth in that thread.. take some time to think about whether what you are contemplating is in the best interest of your child or whether its driven by other factors..
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Hi I have the exact worry about my kids being taken away from me while I am going to face a divorce soon. I am the husband and for whatever reason your situation is, I still believe the kids deserve a father and a mother. People are already so crazy these days and you want your kids to grow up missing the 1/2 of support that they will NEED for life? I am not saying your two have to be on good terms or friends because I know that unlikely in most cases! Try to be an adult about it and show your kids that you are doing some mature action.
One day your kids are going to grow up and say why did you take us away from dad at the time? They could have used a dad on their science project or teaching them tennis or something else.
When a marriage ends with kids you want to arrange it so you are happy you are out of this but your kids are also happy with the fact that they still have love from mommy and daddy.
I know it's hard but that's what I am facing now. Good luck.
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Well said, anyone who offers helpful advice to "24" is aiding a crime.
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Co-parenting is the way. No way your kids will love and cherish you for taking their dad away from their lives.
Plus, HK supports joint custody, things don't just naturally swing in the mothers favor. Also, if the kids are born in HK then the courts rule in "the best interests of the child" to keep them here especially if they are already in school.
Good luck, think smart and cut your emotions out of the equation. You want some serious "no-bullshit" "not what you want to hear but what you NEED to hear" advice? Go talk to a divorce mediator and get some advice. They will tell you how it is.
The kids are the ones who lose in the end...no matter how much you hate your ex (and trust me, I know a thing or fifty about hating an ex spouse) you will never be the better person if you cannot be the bigger person. Be smart about it all.
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Can anyone recommend a familiy mediator that helps with deciding on custody / visitation schedule? Both parties are staying in Hong Kong, never married so didnt go down the legal path and prefer not to. A list of family mediators or recommendations for ones you've ever used would be much appreciated.
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Robin Egerton, he's with Parkside Chambers. You can just google and you should be able to get his details. I have used him on two different walks down towards the all out court battle, he's fair, you won't always hear what you want to hear but you will hear what you need to hear in order to maintain the best interests of the child. Mediators arent there to side with one of you or the other, they are there to put some sense into the pair of you.
And...they don't come cheap, but they certainly come cheaper than a day in court (which could run upwards of 30K a day).
So if you are ready to plonk down 4K an hour, go for it. I would highly recommend Robin and would even say that the sessions are worth it. But I would also recommend you BOTH pay 50/50, that way one doesn't just sit around refusing to cooperate so the other is footing the bigger and ever growing bill. Good luck.
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Hk law is about to change quite a bit away from the draconian mum always gets the kids to where the court decides what's best for the kids. For all we know you might be simply using the kids to leverage as much money as possible from their father without actually caring about the kids at all. You are not taking the kids away without his consent you are actually abducting them irrespective of whether you are their mother. Depending upon where you end up with them or where the police find you (unless you're a Japanese national going home) its a very serious offence.
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