Posted by
MahiMahi
17 yrs ago
I have a good friend whom, after many years of being single and meeting all the wrong guys, finally managed to meet a nice guy. All of a sudden, she has elevated herself onto a pedestal to dispense relationship advice, which I have never asked for (or needed). Some of these advice are coupled with critisms of my personality and choice. It pisses me off and I do not think she, of all people, qualifies to dispense relationship advise. Her own guy is someone whom I, or many well educated and attractive females would not have touched with a ten foot poll.
How do I tell her politely to "shut up" and that she isn't always right?
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maxis
17 yrs ago
glass houses...throwing stones?
Sounds like her "nice guy" is merely a matter fo taste. Perhaps nice in comparisin with her previous losers.
She all of a sudden now feels she is the instant expert.
Don't tell her that anyone would look good in comparison to her past dross.
Perhaps just shut her down before she gets going, and sooner or later the noelty will wear off.
Also, what works for some does not necessarly work for all.
Perhaps don;t tell her too much abot your own issues so she doesn't have an openning
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i used to have a friend like that.. i know fromexperience that the best way of dealing with "her" was to show her that i was as interested in her advice as i was talking about my grandma's bunions.
telling people like her that you dont need or want their advice is like talking to a brick wall. the more you say no the more she'll do it.
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Just be upfront and tell her that the last thing you need from her right now is criticsm. If it doesn't work, maybe it's time to distance yourself from her. People who like to act high and mighty and criticize are bad for your self-esteem (not to mention your temper).
I have a friend who does just as your friend does. But I got so fed up with all the lectures she gives that I simply told her that it took her many mistakes and stupid choices first, before she got what she is so proud to have right now. Maybe, I would too, maybe I wont. I thanked her for her advice and I assured her I know she cares that's why she took it upon herself to be my guardian. I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself. But if ever I needed an advice, I told her she'd be one of the people I'd definitely want to hear from. (But I never did.)
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Thanks for the replies guys. This friend obviously feels she is very "lucky" to have landed herself a guy old enough to be her dad and financially unsound. See, that's why I think she, of all people have no right to criticize me. Will use the tips provided above to "shut her up".
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Projection anyone?
You sound a bit mean about her considering she's supposed to be such a good friend. Is there a chance you are a little jealous because you aren't needed any more?? Mmm I wonder.
Just keep changing the subject and if she doesn't get the message say nicely, but straight to her face how you appreciate her concern but you'd rather not talk about it because it really winds you up. It's not rocket science.
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