Faithful for 20 years ..not anymore...

i...

just get back to your wife. there are too many of these kinds of women around. they dont have an education, they just rely on selling themselves. working in the sex trade is a choice. she has normal legs and arms, she's not a handicap, i'm sure she can get a normal decent job. girls who choose to earn money in the sex trade are just taking the easy lazy way out to make money and then pretend to look pitiful. cmon! wake up.


next you'll run into some pretty fresh face from China, then another from Myanmar, than another from Indonesia and so on and so on. there is no end to women like these. how many girls are you going to fall in love with then? seriously this can go on forever becoz there's no shortage of these kinds of girls.


but it's who you want to be with when you grow old or sick or later in life. i suggest u get back to your wife and live your life happily. dont throw away your life for these one too many types of loose bits.

I'd strongly recommend you read this book:


Confessions of a Bangkok Private Eye: True stories from the case files of Warren Olson


It's in airport bookstores throughout the region...

Your headline says faithful for 20 years, but u said you have been with some cheap whore in Wanchai, so which is which???


I agreed with iwilltry, you are a betrayal yourself but you expect a whore to stay faithful to you... guess we really are living in a mad world..

What if your story was reversed????? What if you find out your wife has been with cheap male whores and carrying on an affair with an ex-prostitute man.... would you be so forgiving?????? Think about it..... Think about what it will do to you,how this kind of betrayal will crush you???? Then imagine your wife having to go through if she finds out about the "REAL YOU".It is so easy to think all about ourselves,our happiness,what will satisfy us..... but when the time comes(and Im sure it will) that she'll find out,there will be reckoning for you.... that is a guarantee.

I understand that your mistress or lover (or whatever you call her), may have gone through pretty rough times,who hasn't???? But they were her choices,she has to live with her past decisions.... all of us do..... And when the time comes that your wife will find out,I'm sure you will too.Remember,regrets are always in the end.

I heard of a saying that fits this poor sole perfectly:


God gave men a dick and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time...

Man! You have serious issues... with yourself! She wouldn't be with you, if you were in the situation she "claim" she is.

Honestly, I feel sorry for your wife.

Wow..

You believe anything she says?? The fact that its one hell of a story should tip you off mate.

Drop the con artist/whore and address the real issues in your marriage.

I think it's terribly sad, that you are more worried about another woman, than about your wife of twenty years.


This woman has you sewn up, hook, line and sinker. It appears that this woman is not so concerned about you, than you are about her. Stand back, and take a good look. She's either using you, or trying an old fashioned tactic, treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen. Either way, you seem to have too much invested in a 'fling'.

U been had ! I hope you had yourself checked out ( medically ) for your wife sake ( and children ) if you have any! Ur poor wife, I feel for her and if she doesn't take you back you deserve it!

It's not an issue about her being an ex-hooker, a liar or a genuine person who had an ugly past and now wants a change.


It's about your infidelity. It's about you NOT respecting your wife and betraying her.


Mind you, not that I have any respect for a woman who sleeps around with someone else's husband either.


Maybe you guys deserve each other.


I'm sorry, no sympathy from me either.

Nor from me.

Go with the prostitute, you seem happier with her then you are with your wife. Let's face it you have been with your wife for 20 years. Most men in Asia trade in their wives in under 7 years, you have already gotten almost 3 times the milage out of her then normal. I mean what more is she going to give you? Your going to pass away one day, maybe soon do you really want to have any "regrets" for opportunities you DIDN't take? No one dies and regrets the adventures they DID take.

I think that's all a wind up. No guy would be that stupid.

To add to the above post, she's not even asking you too be her second husband, it's all the bennifits of marriage and non of the responsibility. I don't get what your complaining about.


Lastly, never overestimate a man's potential for stupidity. You will always inevitibley be proven wrong.

Hi guys and girls,

I do not understand what you are talking about here.....the original post says: "Ï....."

How did you deduct that SonyF55 had been unfaithful to his wife? Or is my asiaxpat account being censored? Do you have to pay a premium in order to be able to read the whole story????

I think maybe the OP edited out the story after the thread was running.

And considering the OP has not returned to update this thread has mostly been speculation for about a week now.

Thanks CoffeeQueen, GemmaW, Flashback..etc..

the last weekend has been one of the most unhappy one ...

She is with her friend for 10 days.

I rang her today stating our relationship should end.

She seems calm. and says may be i can still ring her.

But i want a complete back off.

But she did cry a bit ..when i mentioned about her son.

how would she let her son know about her...

I am trying hard on my marriage.

Hope it will work out.

meanwhile the mood is real bad, i guess depression hit me ...

needs more drink than usual...

I want to repeat the advice - read the book - Confessions of a Bangkok Private Eye: True stories from the case files of Warren Olson


If that doesn't change your mind, and you are still hell-bent on your new life sans the wife, let me suggest that since you're going to divorce the wife, make it worth you while, don't settle down again, spend time, and savor all that is available before making your choice.

I would not be a good idea to move striaght from divorce to marriage. Even if you decide she is the one, you can marry in slow time.


One attraction of the mistress is that she may be the things your wife isn't. That does not mean that the mistress is the right one for you.


I cannot see an original post, so do not know the background to all of this.

could not find the book..still trying..


what it takes to forget someone...

this is the first time in 20 years i need to forget someone....

my love life has always been simple ..

my wife is my second girlfriend...the first one we just

departed since we had chosen different paths in life. I left the country and

she wanted to stay....

but this time it is very hard and confusing...

i am depressed and the urge to see her is high...


seen a psychologist once but not much help...

am i being hooked or spelled on..?

what it takes to forget someone or let go something .....

i wish i can do it in an easier way...


wouldn't it be a better to let my wife knows all about it....

surely that would break her heart...and shaken our marriage....


anyone have experience of letting go something.....

or someone....

would you ever recover ...

Yes, you do recover. You must now put your energy into revitalising your relationship with your wife. Plan a trip together, or something like that. Find a way to please her. Make a point of looking again for the things in her that attracted you. If you remember that the reason we love is mostly an emotional connection, not lust, then try again to rekindle that emotional empathy for your wife that this other relationship has affected. Over time, you will begin to care about your wife's feelings more than the feelings of this other woman, and then you will know that you are in love again. It can happen if you both try. No need to do the confession at all. It will just make it that much harder.

sony you don't sound regrettable at all.

A female friend of mine is a smoker for about 10 years. 10 years ago, to smoke in public areas for a local girl was considered despiteful and people gave ash*t. In spite of all social condemnations and warns of the harm effects of nicotine addiction, she couldn't ignore what she wanted from the inner most of the heart and started her journey as a routine smoker.

Did she really not care about ‘traitor’ image in public area? Did she really not care about her own health? Did she really ignore what cost she had to pay later on? Believe me, those ideas had huunted in her mind thousands of times and she actually kicked herself in mind millions of times. She knew all very clear what it meant, probably clearer than anyone else.

But then we have to ask – WHY?

As I mentioned in another Thread that everything happens for a reason, but the ‘a’ reason most of times is not brought to consciousness by the person himelf as it hides deepest in his unconscious mind and ‘the’ mind traces back to all his past years existence in the world. Normally we might think the trigger for my friend’s smoking was only to follow the initial trend at time time and smoking made her seem stylish since she is always a girl wanting to be different and spot-lighted; but if look deeply, the real trigger behind is that by that time she was anxious to get rid of the good-girl identity.

Then the next question is – does smoking turn her upside down from a good person to a bad one? I’ve known her for 7y. and since the first beginning, I knew she was kind, warm-hearted, loving, out-going, living with passion. The traints are still not changed 7y later.

Nowadays she once in a while mentioned she might start to quit. But at the end she addimit that no specific reasons to quit unless she will have a baby.


The smoking case of my friend is an analogy to Sony’s case of the addiction to this prostitude. I narriated a bit long, only in an effort to let every ‘passenger’ here understand that I actually believe Sony has had this situation in mind all along, he has analized the pros & cons, realized well the so called societal conscience and the cost of breach of convention. All extra blames are not suggestable here as the more suppression he gets outside, the more anxious fire ignited within.


The info I got here is only – 20y marriage, 20y faith; not any more, good connection with the thai prostitute; worried to impact the marriage, tried to say goodbye, but couldn’t get her out of mind.

And Sony’s voice is – she cried, he’s heart broken.


Maybe there’s some initial impression we can capture from the superfacial description – the initial version seems lost in the Thread – what I suggest Sony do is ask yourself the qestions first-

Are you seeking a real-you after bloody years society-inprinted fake identity or are you enticed into trying a new-you after so long a conventional image?

The former, congratulations – you are getting to the point what life means. When changes come, take it as a learning curve, good lessons or bad lessons, all contributable. It’s never late to learn, it’s only regretful you never have the gut to learn.

The latter, congratulations also, but an extra watch-out comes first. If the past was a real-you, do you know what you want a new-you look like? What value do you want to gain from a new-Sony? What have you missed out from the old version Sony?

Only if you figure out your unconsicousness could you at least control your emotions and know how to handle the 20y marriage and this, well, girl. Remember, a 20y ‘addict’ turns out to habbitually depend on nicotine, no matter how harmful it is. But just when you think you got numb on cigarettes and want new things, please see clearly whether it’s cigar or cocaine.

good post by darrenc2000, "cheap wan chai maid on a part time being a hooker", didn't meant to look down on them but this is the truth, they are their for the money, not love.


Sony, of course you will recover, time will heals everything, you just need to be patience and stop all kind of contacts with her.


good luck