Posted by
annebin
19 yrs ago
So, have you confronted her?
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At least she wasn't a boy! Cheer up. This is the place to get back into the fast lane. Attitudes to marriage and fidelity vary around this part of the world. I'd be looking for happiness and compatibility rather than loyalty as a starting point.
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Good to know you have a sensible enough head on your shoulders to stay cool.
The same thing happened to my brother. Confronted her wife only after he has packed his bags. No violence, no hatred..Boy was she surprised!
Anyway, it's also good to have closure if she hurt you deeply. But if you can go on without any bitterness, then lesson learned.
There are more decent women out there so take your sweet time :)
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Its good that you are cool headed about it. Remember revenge is not sweet. Do not try to 'cheat' on her like what she has done to you. Unless you do not believe in karma. I do. The best thing is to walk away. If she plead and promise that it was a stupid thing and it will never happen again, use your judgement on whether you want to give her that chance.
Alot of times, people cheat on their partner due to one reason or another but it is usually a 1 time thing which they will quickly regret and not do it anymore. Some simply just cannot seem to be faithful to just one partner.
But don't use this as an excuse to flirt around. You never know the next girl you meet is the one.
If you are going to dump her, make sure she realises that you are the best guy she can ever have. That is the best 'revenge'.
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i am sorry about your story
Don't be upset. Not every woman is in such the way. What I can advise is to be more careful and don't focus too hard in short period. Even this apply to all women. I am quite curious to nowaday's relationship. Not such secure and too many tempatations.
I think it is not easy to find a true love. So..better enjoy the love life instead of marriage...am I right ?
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Juzspeakup,
If you are going to dump her, make sure she realises that you are the best guy she can ever have. That is the best 'revenge'.
totally agree with you...
the best revenge is to live happier than with him/her.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Hahah!! Pray for good ladies to be in the system? That's so right! .... Oh! and for good guys too, for most of us spoiled too. :P
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Amen to that, JC .... :D.
I wonder why most of the times the good gals meet bad guys while the bad gals find the good guys....... Hmmmm!!
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Bad ones are good at giving out sh*t but too many tantrums if their mate gives the same back.
And two good ones together might be nice but could be kinda dull?
Maybe the challenge is to be exciting without being too bad??
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EE, good luck and wish you well.
Just make sure that you control your own finances and dont give her too much than you already have. Just a careful thought, not meant that all gals are financially dependent.
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Economist - does that mean that the perfect girl would be good & bad at the sametime?
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mumbo
19 yrs ago
Cheers up!
And JC-you're right!
don't even think about having a pleasure w/her for a while before you find a new replacement. You're lowering your self esteem.Ignore her,treat her bad...like sh*t,tell her that you had enough of her.It's time to lower her not yours.
Good luck
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HI EE, I just wondered if it could be a mistake. Perhaps an old boyfriend or brother? Also have you ever been unfaithful to her while being in the relationship? It is possible after all so love someone else yet keep something on the side.
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Euro Expat....
You are smart in the fact you are not going to rant at least...
Revenge after all is a dish best served cold...
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ming
19 yrs ago
Dear EuroExpat,
Your experience is unfortunate but people get cheated on by their partners and it has nothing to do with race. Your case might have happened to another local Chinese man. Or you might have been cheated on by a caucasian woman.
And what about the local Chinese girls who were cheated on by expat men? it's so easy to blame it on race but relationships are never a Sunday walk in the park.
Just make peace with yourself and move on. Give yourself another chance with love. There must be some woman out there for you, whatever the colour of her skin!
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I'm very sorry your still hurting over this, so let me ask you "Why are you still hurting over this?" Were you engaged, moved in together, planed a wedding? I mean seriously whats keeping you from replaceing her cheating a$$ like a pair of old, and busted socks?
Vallient
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rats
19 yrs ago
EuroExpat- cos your title is 'my cheating CHINESE gf', instead of simply 'my cheating gf'? it is difficult not to associate that with race with such a thread :P
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Knowway, try to be kind. The guy just wanted to share his feelings with people who might care - it's healthy. Better than bottling them up. The least you can do is to try to be kind!
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Respect yourself, EE. Playing silly sex/mind games isn't (or shouldn't be) enjoyable. Dump her, move on.
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Euro I really feel for you. My ex husband had an affair with a chinese "girl" and she kept in touch wiht him. I found out that she is a married's man mistress now and even has a child with him. She still swears she loves my ex a lot. Not all chinese women maybe like this but there is a bunch who do. Feel happy you found out now. It could have been much worse and better luck next time. Keep in mind that foreigner passports and different looks are a prize for some Chinese women.
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