How to love again? single mummy in shanghai got problem

Hello, it has been lucky to find this forum, I read some topics here, just feel very similar situation... I divoced around 1.5 years ago, it was an 8 years marriage but finally didn´t work...

Now I´m working hard in Shanghai, my kids are with their father in Spain, so I travel between Spain and China often...

Now comes my problem, I have tried to begin some relation, but couldn´t manager well to express myself in a right way... I feel alone and sometimes really got sad at home... so I seem in a hurry to find someone who can really enjoy the live together with me, base on love of course. But nowaday, people just seem not sure about everything, no one has the idea clear to have a serious relation... I don´t want to confirm the relationship in the first week or month after getting know someone, but at least I would like to see the strong wish and an serious actitude to have some kind of stable relation. So finally I found myself obessed to know if the one who ask to date with me is with a serious purpose or not, because I don´t want to get hurt again...


That´s my problem now, I just can´t manager well my speed or my expression well in front of someone I´m interested. This hurry or obession make frighten the people I think... although I´m still young and be considered very beautiful... but I just can´t find my special one...


I work hard, so I don´t have a lot of time to be worried about a relation, I want to have confidence since de beginning, that´s the reason I pay so much attention to know one´s actitude...


Help, I don´t want to continue to be alone, I´m eager to love again and to be loved again.

Just take it easy and not to think about it too much. If the real love comes, it comes. Sometimes, the more you pay attention to it, the more you can't manage it well.

I think your attitude will have more of an effect on what you want, and how people will react. Part of this is also cultural.


It is hard for me to offer any advice without knowing about your cultural background.


Firstly, if you look desperate, or seem desperate, you will frighten men off.


What I would say is that 1.5 years is early for a lot of people after a divorce for many people to consider marriage. Y


You also need to consider that it is normal to have one or two (maybe more) 'healing relationships', before you are ready to get married again. These are relationships that help you feel better about yourself and heal some of the hurt made by the divorce. You may get hurt, but each time you fall over and get up it hurts a bit less, and we recover faster.


Also remember, you don't have to marry every guy you date.


I could suggest that you go out and get laid and don't give the guy your real phone number. But attitudes to that behaviour can vary depending on your background.