Posted by
rtrum
15 yrs ago
I am encountering a problem which made me very sad. I've been together with this girl for 8 years,everything was fine we had ups and downs in our relationship ..but what I can't understand now is that she is being disrepectul to me. Last June she went travelling to Thailand with her girlfriend who have very rich boyfriend..She never have plans for whatever she does,she was supposed to come back but later I received an SMS telling me she is in other country and since then she's been travelling in cruises to Italy,to Egypt ,having Safari tours in Kenya and Tanzania.. Now I constantly receive calls that she is disappointed in me because I spend my money inviting friends out,...I never thought to sleep with another girl in those 8 years..Now she is saying that I am a loser..I gave her all my bank cards,so she was controlling everything..Now while still abroad ,she says that I never gave her support when she needed me, (now she is spending her girlfriend's money..)I am totally sad.I think some of you might have been in this kind of situation,how did you deal with it..? Do you have any advice?
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She's taking you for a sucker.
if she doesn't want to spend time with you, then your relationship is over. cancel you bank cards given to her (what were you thinkin!!!???) sever ties.
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this is ridiculous. do you know dan savage?
DTMFA
you can google it if you don't know....
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this sounds quite unbelievable...
i guess you should cancel your cards and move on with your life.
cheers.
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i'm surprised that they now allow to use "DTMFA"...i once used it and i never saw my post...
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Cancel all credit cards and this i say to u: She aint using girlfriend's money.. she is using the money of a rich old man introduced to her during those wild trips. I assure u , she has another rich old man now. and she thinks he loves her and will marry her, like most cunning men would promise just to bed a woman.
leave her and i bet you, one day, she will come back crying to beg u to forgive her and take her back... by then the ball is in ur hand!
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rtrum
15 yrs ago
Thank you all for your advice,she is a hot tempered woman and sometimes she yells at me to break up,we had an issue before where she slept with a very rich man but later admitted and asked me to forgive her as I was really ready to leave her..She sometimes breaks things at home when she gets angry,...but later when she cools down everything is fine..BTW she doesn't have work and it's me who support her for everything...Sometimes she complains that the money is not enough..she wants to live a champagne life but she even can't work..She wants me to buy her car,..She took my credit card and emptied it and it took me some months to clear the credit..She keeps borrowing money to her friends and come to me saying that she has a huge debt because of me...I earn quite enough money for 2 of us but it seems it's not enough for her,she wants to buy pricey stuff even though she doesn't need them, you can't imagine a lot expensive things that are stocked at home and she never use, from kitchen ware to clothes,laptops,...I am really confused but definitely I will DTMF.
But it's really very hard after those 8 years,I know there might be nice girls out there but I find it difficult to adapt to the new life without her..I really love her..
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rtrum
15 yrs ago
She always wants me to be submissive ,she gives orders and when I don't give in ,we quarrel .Because she is sometimes secretive ,suspicious when she goes out ,I sometimes doubt she meets other guys, I am patient and tolerant but I think it's coming to limits..I gave her all my love but in return I am getting this..When I think of this sometimes I feel sad..I spent all my 8 years in this relationship and it will be hard to get in another relationship...
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It makes me think of the book "Why men love Bitches"......
In that case a nice gal like me will never be loved....
Sigh...
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sigh too...
seems nice people always ended with jerks/bitches...
no words.....
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sorry to heard your story rturm. You have to leave her as she is a gold-digger. I agreed with KennyL, move out and empty the apartment next time while she out for holiday. There more than thousand girls in Shanghai , why you love a gold-digger ? You give her almost everything and she should not ask for more. Anyway, good luck !
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rtrum
15 yrs ago
Thank you all,I would like to give you an update..She came back few days ago from her long trip and she told me they spent more than 120.000 RMB..Now she is asking me to pay her back 27,000 RMB, ha ha...She said she borrowed it from her friend..She asked me to give the money to her or break-up and she will show no respect for me..I am afraid she is able to do anything now...Plan to move out without telling her..but I am afraid she will be telling stories that I owe her money to some of my close friends ...So f*cked up now..
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rtrum
15 yrs ago
She spent 1 night out yesterday and came back telling me was detained by the police because she was DUI and was kept at the police station..I now want to find the best way to dump her...She is really driving me mad..('cuz I still love her).Many of you might say it's silly but the thing is like that..I don't want to get hurt anymoree..Any better way to dump her?
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As soon as I read your post I checked your location, 'Shanghai'. The girls from that city do have a bad reputation for mercenary behaviour.
Sad news is that you have been used.
The best way to dump her is fast. Just move out.
How much more time do you have on the lease?
You can probably negotiate with the landlord if you have a long term left.
Or change the locks and throw her out. But if she is a 'typical' bad Shanghai girl she will then be a pain to get rid of. Until she has got what she thinks she is entitled to.
Don't worry about what she may say about you. Westerners will take your side when you tell then the truth. Chinese won't need to be told the truth. As soon as you say you left her they will put 2 and 2 together.
If you don't 'bad mouth' to the Chinese, and she is badmouthing you, she will look bad in thier eyes.
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rtum there is no easy break up. just move out, feel the pain for a few days and move on. and to your feelings, you might love her but she is clearly not loving you and just abusing you.
get out now!
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I'm going to guess that your a lot older then she is and you think she's the hottest girl you would ever wish to have??? Shanghai girls can be very ruthless its all about the 5 C's to them (cash, condo, car, coutour, and credit cards). Not all of them. I keep thinking though that if you 2 have been together 8 years that's a long time for a Shanghai moucher to be clinging to you. When she was out of the country she had other men buying her stuff,a nd treating her to the champaign lifestyle, and while your not beer she has come to think that she can do better, but now that the trips over, she doesn't know how much better she an do or how to do it. If she had a better richer sugar daddy you wouldn't have to break up with her she'd have left you without a thought. Her problem is she has gotten the idea she can do better but since the trip that prince (with the bank account to match) hasn't shown up.
Whatever the reason 3 things 1) Dump her, you will find a new sexy replacment for her in no time (I give it 30 days), 2) Cancel the bank cards you gave her. 3) Cut all contact with her you might really need to be a jerk about it.
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How do I find a man like this?
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rtrum
15 yrs ago
hoyo,I am not depending on her on whatever Visa or other things..I have a nice and stable job and I am not that old (32) and she is 29 .I already decided to dump her as I mentioned it earlier ..She is leaving again at the end of this month and I plan to move out as soon as possible. By the way many of you think she is shanghainese but actually she is not.I am willing to spend few weeks with pain and I think everything will be OK.
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Where is she from if she's not from Shanghai?
Every woman I'm sure would like a man who can keep her financially secure but you have to show respect to your partner. I'm glad you've decided to dump her. I hope you remember to change your phone number and only share the new number with your true friends.
Try to remember you owe her nothing and she had enough of a free ride. My mother had three children and two jobs, I have no respect for women who don't work!
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So many massive cheap fans in Asia...sorry to hear about your story dude. Move on and be careful next time. All the best.
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Some men really need a drama princess in their lives, otherwise they get bored.
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