Unconditonal love. Kids v Spouse

This is a tangent off another thread-


STATEMENT

...Loving your baby/kids is not the same as loving your partner/spouse. When your kids do something bad to you, the love is totally unconditional, but if your partner/spouse does wrong, then it is harder to find a way to forgive......


Aijin- I know you agreed, and Whateva disagrees...yes I take yr point that marriage is supposed to be so unconditional, the have and to hold business, but when the spouse breaks the vowels then I would say the love changes with it.


What do the rest of you guys think? ;)

agree

Whateva - I did understand the original post you made, and don't think I have taken it out of context (sorry if it seems that way???:(), but hmmmmm what an interesting viewpoint yr 2nd post has......


When I got married I wouldn't have dreamt in my wildest dreams that the man before me would ever as you put in so politely 'look to get needs met elsewhere' for a start. If I so much had a shadow of doubt that he would, then of course I wouldn't have touched him with a barge pole. Guess in yr opinion then I should never have got married in the first place then right! I don't think many people would be getting divorced if they agreed with you, because with yr theory - people simply wouldn't ever get married would they? Isn't it more realistic and fairer to say 'If you know that you or yr spouse would be tempted to look elsewhere for 'things', then simply don't get married'?


I totally agree with you that marriages need to worked at, and not shout divorce at the first little obstacle, but when one gets pushed to the limits again and again, it all gets a bit tiring to carry on, and that's why it is conditional love! If you get what I am trying to say?


Disagree again, being a parent is so much more a challenge and responsibilty that being a wife, (that is in my eyes). Kids are a blank sheet on which we shape and nuture, they are as CASEY says, much cuter so a big bonus for unconditional love :) and also because they are so innocent and 'ours' it is easier to forgive. Then again my kid is not a teenager yet so maybe I am talking rubbish and will be posting a 'Can't find love for my teenage tearaway' in future in 'moms and dad's' section ;)


But don't worry Whateva, you will not get a blasting as this thread is not about the hot, juicy topics on who cheated when and where! so loads of people won't take much notice!


Crikey Moses!- never seen you in such a serious mode before, since I am relatively new to this site, always love your humour! Anyway, you put it in such a deep way that I think I understand and agree, but the last line is beyond me, must be that huge Sunday lunch you had;)

whateva, with regards to your last paragraph. No I don't think you are being pretentious it is how you think you will act should your partner ever cheat on you.


However, it is one thing to say how you would act in an imaginary situation but when you are in the middle of that real situation you may act entirely different.

What I meant in the previous thread-

'women's cheating' was that if you love someone so intensely,cheating would not even come up on your radar.

You would not want to harm or let anyone harm your child,would you? That is real intense love.


My argument was not of forgiveness and unconditional love for your spouse.Rather,if you cheat or your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend cheats the answers clear.The love is not strong enough because you are harming your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend or vice versa.


It's for the couple to decide whether to carry on.But the argument is that the love cannot be as great as that for a child.In some cases it is.And some couples never ever cheat because they love each other so much that they do not want to cheat.That's all.