Posted by
Kolichka
16 yrs ago
I'm 32 Canadian. She's 22 local, western educated. In the beginning I was a bit hesitant but soon realized she's not your typical 22 year old, and the age difference hasn't been brought up since. Now she wants me to meet her parents - and again I have this thought 'is the age gap too wide'?
What do you think?
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What's is too old?? I don't think 13 or 10 years of age difference is that big. Then again, I dated someone 20 years older than me. :P :) The most important is whether you guys click, can talk about everything, are good friends and lovers. Then I'd say why not?
Asian communities (well, some? most of them?) tend to have rigid opinions about the age differences. Saying things like different thinkings between the couples who have a big age gap, blah blah blah, it wouldn't work, blah blah blah. the most important thing to ask yourself is can you guys communicate well? get along better than with any other people? have great sex :P :) then sure~ go for it :) Just make sure you stay healthy and fit! I mean fit fit fit~ :P :)
So go with your heart and your gut feeling. :)
good luck.
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Thanks for the replies! Yes, we get along fantastic! Maybe I'm just getting cold feet in meeting the parents!
Appreciate the reassurances!!
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hey me and my bf have 16yrs between us. he is 40 turning 41 next year and i am 24 turning 25 next year..
we have had up and downs.. but we can sort our relationship out.. both parties just need to have patience for each other..
as for the adjustment, he has had to adjust to me more than i had to adjust to him.. but it worked out in the end..
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I'll take it one step at a time! Meet the parents first, worry about red packets and banquet dinner later! Much later!! :) :)
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Dear Kolichka,
I haven't been in your situation before but do understand your concern, particularly in Chinese culture. The age difference is not a big deal if you do really love her. Also, her parents can't do anything to affect your relationship with your gal friend if both of you are in love with each other. Looking forward to your good news soon.
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maxis
16 yrs ago
ha ha ha! 9-11, that is quite amusing.
Kolichka, are you Chinese Canadian, or non-Chinese Canadian?
Forget the age difference issue, be more worried about prejudices her parents have (and because she doesn't, that don't mean they wont!) if they are local HK people, and "traditional".
How is her parents' English, or your Canto for that matter? If there is a language gap (at least to an extent) then use it! Makes it harder for them to grill you!
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My dad was 21 years older than my mum. He was 42 and she, 21, when they got married back in 1969.
She was Chinese from Hong Kong, and he was a foreigner from England. You can imagine how difficult it was for them to date in HK during that time, with mum feeling embarrassed being with an older man and people probably thinking all sorts of things.
And then after they got married, they moved to Newcastle in England and mum was probably one of the few Chinese people there!!!
Age difference means nothing if you are in love!
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would anyone's opinion and insights differ if the woman was older than the man by 10, 20, 30 years? and why ?
just curious
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Probably.
It's like that HK lawyer whose girlfriend is maybe more than 20 years older then him. You think it's weird, but when you here an interview with him, he says he didn't choose to go out with an older woman... he just fell in love with her, and vice versa. And then you realise it's very sweet.
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Naughty :)
I can understand that :) the older the guys are, the more mature they are, and they know how to treat ladies, but becareful, some of them are really good at the dating games too, real sweet talkers and smooth operators. There are both pros and cons with dating older guys. :) Get to know them at least a bit first :)
Have fun but also look out for yourself :)
cheers
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As a 24 year old woman (aussie) engaged to a 48 year old man (aussie), stop trying to please everyone else! Do what makes you happy, you're not hurting anyone, and you love your girlfriend. We only live life once, why give up a great relationship for fear of other people's perceptions? Age is but a number if you both get along and are capable of relating with one another.
However, you'll need to bear in mind that if the relationship does proceed to the point where you spend the rest of your lives together, make sure there is a safety net in place to ensure that your wife's needs are taken care of once you're gone.
Personally, my 'to-be' hubby and I have had very few problems, thanks to our overly understanding families. They're not really fussed as long as we're happy. :)
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