Posted by
bamboo
19 yrs ago
Hi y'all,
I am visiting Bangkok at the moment and am a european expat.
This is what puzzles me here:
When I am out in good bars & restaurants I see some very lovely and classy looking Thai ladies speaking good english and to some foreigner, normally youngish nice- guy- type.
My question is this: Are they generally real or just for the night?
I mean if they have a "real" relationship that goes beyond short time profit?
If so then what do these women look for in a foreigner..?
I have rarely seen more gracious and lovely women anywhere in the world (and I have seen a lot of it..grin) and wonder how and where one can meet the ladies from a more classy background than, lets say, Patpong etc, on a normal basis? Are Bankok ladies generally approachable and open to foreigners?
Anyone with ideas? Thanks!
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Ed. - just wondering why you don't give the men a Men Only forum? obviously the men need one, for queries like bamboo's. he's not going to get the info he needs from women.
bamboo - meantime, why don't you post in the bangkok AX personals?
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Ed
19 yrs ago
We tried a mens forum - it didnt work - we will not try it again. Thanks for the suggestion
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either they are "professionals"
passport poachers
gold diggers
-or -
very last but least common - genuine singles looking for something long term.
the end
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They will do anything, sound anyway, listen to everything in order to get that passport out of there!!
They are one of the most beautiful races of women, but that doesn't mean they don't have their own agendas!!
You sound so naive and like all the other typical blokey types that simply want a perfect little doll on their arm when they go out!!
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Thanks guys, I am aware of the kind you describe, Cowboy, and they are all but common in these parts. But then there are the others, that seems to be genuine. Or am I really so naiive to not recognize the gold - digger woman? Perhaps...I stand to learn a different way of thinking, if needed.
On the other hand I am pleased that I have not yet grown so off-handed and judgemental that I can still try not to judge a book by its cover and try to look at people one by one.
I admit that looks and feel are one thing and that a "real" relationships is another. But also in Asia you have western educated ladies, who have travelled and hold well paid positions to not need your money or status.
Many Thai women, I understand, are quite happy here, and I wonder what they need the passport for. Some, I am told, dont even want to leave with their men to far-away-land.
So where are the kind that are genuine then? Do they leave home at all?
I notice Bangkok is quite different to HKG, as there is less of an expat scene here one feels a little less "at home" here on first glance. This is why I am writing on this post..:-)
Hope to hear more opinions on this matter.
Cheers
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Bamboo
Be careful, your faith in human nature will leave you vulnerable.
If you want to meet educated and genuine women, start networking in your proffessional circles. Then it will be your job to convince them that you are genuine. Seems like a more balnced relationship might occur.
If you are only visiting, don't do anything rash. Like falling in love and getting married in a few weeks.
If all you are doing is looking for a bit of fun, then there are girls who can accomodate you. But make no mistakes as to the nature of the relationship.
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Tigerbay,
many thanks for your input. I guess it would have to be a long term project to meet the right kind of people out here first, as you said.
I guess the ones with class would need to be sure to be able to trust you in some way first before they would open up to you..?
Anyway, am enjoying this vibrant city in more than one way.. :-)
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I just came back from Bangkok. What I saw there is no comparison to Koh Samui. A lot of Caucasian males have a "weekend girlfriend" while vacationing on that island. My guy friend walked down one side of the street and got approached twice within 15 minutes. It's that easy! Being Chinese, I was mistaken for Thai sometimes and I've received some "looks", even winks when I was with my boyfriend (he's Canadian). That was my first time to Thailand. Most of the people I met were very friendly and helpful, but the bottom line is a lot of them do so cause they expect you to spend money there. I guess it will be pretty hard to find someone genuine in a country where tourism is so loud, and everything has sort of been made easy for visitors.
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Hey Bamboo
I have one of those beautiful Thai girlfriends. They are not all hookers and even if they are, they often have been deserted or had bad experiences with Thai and Falang men. I am asked regularly to find a nice guy by girls. Of course, money and support is an issue. Particularly if they have an elderly family or kids to support. My advice is if you like Thai women, take your time, learn about Thai culture. (In Thailand, "You love your husband more than your family" is a curse!). You will be supporting her and her family. My theory is that the 3 things Thai women hate most are jealously, mean spirited/mean ("Cheap Charlie") and unfaithfulness. Having fun is a No 1 priority and anger is a path to nowhere. Good Luck. Saturday, I was with five of the most beautiful women you could imagine. None working and all looking for foreign boyfriends!
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Lambada, I think you must be a lucky guy.. grin..
Tuttifrutti, I agree with what you say 100%. Since my time here is limited I am still getting the feel of this place. Yup, one night in Patpong is enough. Been there, done that now and got the T-shirt. As for the rest I experienced that first hand already. Bought the girls at the party a few rounds and near the end they suddelnly vanished without saying a word..
Wisdom come to the one who is patient.. grin
PS> Hey Lambada, where do you guys normally hang out?
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Hong Kong! How long are you in HK?
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No I am in Bangkok right now. I was not aware there are so many decent Thai ladies in HKG..good for you. enjoy them . grin..
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I live in Bkk n have been told that some classier pro have double standards. if an asian man approaches her, she'll do it for the money. if a farang who is of potential husband material to her, she'll do it for free, hoping to become a girlfriend. pardon my 2 cents, if you're looking for a weekend fling, it may be tough to have one with girl/s of good n decent background. The ones who are in for a good time and luxurious treats for the weekend only are so easy, they gradually lose their "class" even if they once had it.
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so tell me Show N Tell, is there room for thode who patronise "pros" to be critical?
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i was simple sharing what i've been told, as a fact, not a judgement. no offense.
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Just be careful Bamboo with the "girls" you or your friends meet in bars, especially Patpong. Some (and plenty) are actually Kaetoys (ex-men). Check out their necks for tell-tale signs of adam's apple.
Bangkok is becoming pretty popular for plastic surgery and enhancements, and heck they do a swell job, not only on the women, but especially on the men.
We were once out with my husband's (Caucasian) pals in a bar and they were smitten by 2 Thai women who, I think were very pretty. Nice complexion, beautiful faces, sexy, and in a nutshell, stunning. Upon closer inspection, we came to realize that they were kaetoys. Popped the balloons on the spot.
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Ezekiel
A ladyboy, transexual.
Watch out for the taller ones.
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WARNING - may contain nuts
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LOL, tigerbay, good one! kaetoeys normally look "extremely" feminine as they need to "overcompensate" for what god didnt give them. they always have long straight rebonded hair, some with jaw slightly more angular n narrower hips compared to a real women (H shape as opposed to A), very thick makeup, and of course deep voice.
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Just don't ring the bell in the bar or you'll have to buy everyone a drink. Re the neck - forget it. Surgery fixes that! The hardest thing to alter is the voice. My mate swears that its the elbow that can't be altered. Most are pretty upfront about it. By the time they've had all the operations, its debatable whether there is any male left anyway! I bet there are loads of guys who have spent the night with what they thought was a dream woman never to know!
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Hey, Bamboo, I'll get you a list of good places in Bangkok. Think outside the circle. Eg Salsa classes. You could check out the Q Bar - expensive but very hip. Also Hollywood to see Thais doing their thing. Some of the big hotels are swish but all of them would have a high percentage of professionals. If I was you I would head down to a university and hang out. Always smile and the City of Angels will swallow you up in the most delightful manner. Just take your time, go with the flow, have fun and assume that you know nothing and understand less. These are seriously complex people.
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Dear Bamboo, problem with you European men is that you think every asian girls you meet in BKK is thai, every asian girls you meet in HK is hongkies. The 'good English speakers' that you saw may or may not be thais. I have the same problem everywhere I travel in Asia. I can be a Viet, a Thai, a Indonesian, a Malaysian all at once, depending on the zip code. When I was working in BKK, I have so much problem being branded as a whore in a club as they thought I am thai and that ALL thais are whores. I came back to Singapore after 6 months.. I basically have no social life there.
But back to you other question. There are basically 3 types of 'real' women there.
1) The working whores who are in love with every men and will make you think that they are really in love with you, hoping that they can have a better life with you. But of course there are also happy marriages coming out from such union.
2) The really rich Thais. They generally looks like models and superstars and have very fair and good skin. But they have their own clubs where no farang tourist is allowed unless you know them. They will mostly stay clear of farangs as they do not want to be branded as whore.
3) The executive working class that you are seeking. However, you will only meet them in offices, companies functions, social sports clubs etc. If you are there without any business contacts, the chances is very very slim that you will meet such lady.
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surgery can fix the apple but it'll cost a bomb and possible half a lifetime to fix shoulders n hip bones which hormones can't alter....it's sometimes a good giveaway.
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Sorry to all, I have not been here for 2 days.
Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. They are really appreciated.
Juzspeakup, many thanks for constructive advice.
I slowly arrive at these conclusions too.. It takes time. The Thais are very complex, as it was said before.
I have spend 5 days on my own now (my mate away) and found myself getting a bit lonely, as I cant really have a normal conversation with any lady, the ones I would like to meet avoiding my gaze deliberately. Guys I find a bit scary, as they keep checking me out. Wow, so many faggots here...!!
I am smitten by this "challenge" and will save it up for next time I am here. Currently working on a paradise tropical island I have to get back to. I do intend to come back... grin..
Have to do a business call in Singapore and staying the night on Friday. Ideas anyone...?
Would be delighted to buy anyone a friendly drink... just text me on +2304222787
Cheers
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Hi
Can I suggest you loose the homophobia if you are staying in LOS. Justspeakup - talk about generalisations but some truth in what you say. I don't think Thai society is as closed up as you suggest. Perhaps 20 years ago. Personally, I can pretty much tell where someone comes from in Asia just by looking (in the countries I am familiar with).
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Speaking of class, Linchee, your reply is a good example. :-)
Well, it seems a shame that relationships revolve solely around moeny. How about similar wavelength and other affinities?
I was under the impression that Thai ladies had a great deal of romanticism in them and were thus attracted to some degree to farangs, as we are reputed to look after our ladies. Is that all bollocks then? Just cash that matter? Excuse me for seeming naiive, but how and when (if at all) does love come into play? Is there such a thing as we know it in the West?
Thanks for comments
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wow! I never really thought that there are still guys in Hong Kong who are looking for relationships. I was told even if you have the worst skin, 5 mins in JB, you could get picked up, man! (not meant to offend). I just came back to HKG...seems like not many men knows how to treat a lady properly, unlike 10 years ago. Well.. I wish I could meet the guy who is not attached and would like to have friendship and later a serious relationship.
Remarkable woman
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sorry to barge in here but in many cases within the asian culture, "relationship" means security and rice bowl, let alone marriage. sadly in some cases, love has little to do with it. for some lucky ones, it starts with love then expected to follow with the rest.
"I was under the impression that Thai ladies had a great deal of romanticism in them and were thus attracted to some degree to farangs, as we are reputed to look after our ladies."
there u go, look after - financially.
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i don't deny it, therefore my point is also, every relationship comes in a package with various components. love alone without other common ground is hard to last. i know of course it's not fair to generalise, but naming the specific countries just isnt appropriate here.
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What is it with this love thing? What is love? Can someone clarify that? For me it's a bit like indigestion. A vaguely unpleasant feeling I get as someone walks out of my life. I haven't suffered from it since living in HK as there always seems to be another beautiful person walking in the door at about the same time. Seriously, isn't it all about financial security, lifestyle, sexual attraction and friendship? I just don't get what this issue is with westerners and love. For us, there is no issue as the village Buddhist monk assured me we were married in a previous life.
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Hi Rouge, I meant the "western world", Europe, Americas etc.
Rosana, if life revolves around a 5 minute pickup then I will rather go and sit on a mountain and become a monk. Seems more interesting...
To be more specific I think at a certain stage in life you get fed up with party lifestyle, quick pickups and a generally shallow life. I am keen to nget into a "ral"adventure, that involves some new, inner aspects of life. How about a giving relationship based on mutual trust, love and respect, for starters..? I make it sound so easy, I know, but I had my share of all the quick and convenient stuff. I would now like to think there is something else out there, a different kind of adventure.
Also would like to hear someone make a serious crack at defining Love..
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Love is irrational but at the same time makes you rational. We make rational decisions, commitments in a relationship because we love someone. Love is unspoken and unconditional. We demonstrate our love through actions and give it without expecting any return. Love brings forth respect, compromise and understanding. Love is the drive to become a better person for the one. The list goes on...The most important is how YOU define love and find someone who values the same.
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bamboo: "Also would like to hear someone make a serious crack at defining Love.."
here's a whole bunch of serious cracks (and crackpots):
http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/speakerscorner/threads/69830.asp
;-)
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