Posted by
really
19 yrs ago
I just want to know if men are intimidated with educated women? Most of the single women are educated and successful in their career so how come men are not attracted with them...just curious?
To all men, your reply will be appreciated.
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I agree with Pumpkin - don't often hear the words... makes a nice change.
I think they are intimidated and it's really annoying! It seems held back to war times and the ideas of men toward women. They are on dangerous turf when they meet an equal in a woman. What do they have to offer?
It seems to have never ocurred to them they might just be good company with no 'competition' involved!!
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It does seem to be quite a scary phenomenon - there are so many expat men who come out here and ditch their smart, independent, opiniated wifes/long-term girlfriends for some nubile young thing who's never read a book in her life. Is there really something in the air that makes dating a mental equal unpalatable? Are these men so desperate to have their egos stroked in this caveman style? Gross.
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men want total acceptance - something they don't always get from smart, educated women. ALL men want this, whether they’re smart, dumb, old, young, educated, ignorant...you name it.
yeah, congratulations, you're a smart, educated, strong, opinionated, articulate, beautiful woman...good for you...but sometimes, men just don't want to exert the effort to constantly prove themselves to you, or that they're worthy of your precious company. as a older wiser girlfriend once told me, “sometimes they just don’t want to hear your brilliant sh*t.”
sometimes it's just easier for a man to let it all hang out with a pretty young thing who doesn't give a fig about his warts-&-all existence, who won't question his insecurities, frailties, resume, jokes, what have you. ok, so she can't contribute to his knowledge of nuclear physics, but does he give a fig either? no, not really!
i’m not saying it’s right, wrong, or fair. just stating what i have observed.
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tia
19 yrs ago
Some men are. I once had a boyfriend that got angry when I used words over 2 syllables that he did not know and accused me of trying to make him look stupid. Not a hard feat, apparently.
Now, I am dating someone who LIKES a girl with a brain and who is not afraid to speak her mind and show her intelligence and wit. I love this man.
Men I have met CLAIM to want a smart, independant girl but some do not fully grasp what that means.
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Pumpkin> Your multiple personality method brought a smile to my face. It does, of course, raise one question... how do you have the wardrobe space? *grin*
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Pumpkin... your talk of multiple personalities scares me... can't we all just be ourselves?
I feel like we are seriously over-generalizing. Sure, there are guys who like dim women so they can feel superior, but there are also guys who like bright women so they can carry on a decent conversation.
I can't speak for my entire gender, but I LOVE smart, intelligent, independent women. I view a relationship as a partnership. Each person should bring something to the table. If I am superior in all ways, I get nothing out of it. I certainly HOPE that the woman will exceed my skills, abilities both physically and cognitively, in some ways; then we can learn from each other.
My longest relationship of 2.5 years, was with a PhD student in molecular biology. I learned about things like recombinant DNA and RNA transport in yeast cells, and she learned about corporate communications and training, and motorcycle maintenance. It was fabulous, and I wouldn't want my women any other way!
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being educated is not the issue, what I have observed is that in the process of becoming successful and independant, many career girls have lost the feminity that most of us males prefer our partners to have, yes males like to feel protective and supportive,it is in the male nature. Balance is important and equally being around a totally submissive lap dog is also a turn off so just remind yourself when you are interogating your next date as to his earnings and career prospects let him know there is real woman under there.
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zhngJ
19 yrs ago
pumpkin you smart girl. haha...
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expatnchina - thanks from the bottom of my heart. i needed that. am rethinking a choice i made.
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Well I am pretty thick but still seem to be single. What am I doing wrong???
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evohe
19 yrs ago
I don't why those thread seem insulting to men. Ah yes, because again it sounds like men are dogs or selfish and horrible creatures.
It is not because you hang around a lot in LKF with drunken men, that they represent the vast majority of them. I am afraid that you need to broaden your horizon.
Personally most of my friends, cannot think of having a dumb girlfriend. The ones who are not single respect and admire the intelligence and the personality of their halfs. To quote a friend : he will never marry a women who has not her own opinion, who has no education etc ...
And I feel the same. My sisters have masters or MBA's. Why should I feel threaten. One is doing research on brains cells, the other is studying in the US, another is the cute captain of the feminine rugby team in college. So what ? What goes for my sisters, should also go for my half. Why men would enjoy intellectual desert for the rest of their life ?
A couple is a partnership, it is a friendship. It is sharing the beauty of life, it is willing to explore the world together, it is to live thrue challenges together and ultimatly build a familly.
The ones which are looking for stupid chicks don't have much to offer to smart girls and probably have a self confidence issue.
A smart woman should not worry. She will only end up with someone worth nice discussions until the end of her life. But hey guess what : you don't find that kind of man at every corner. Maybe that's the beauty of it. So do not settle for someone who feels challenges by your intelligence, and yes despite what this society of image wants us to believe, being single is acceptable.
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hey thunder you should also know that 'its not the size that matters, its what you do with it!' ....getting back to the topic in hand ...lol
My Ex BF hated the fact that i was doing better with my career than he was and in turn i felt guilty about my progression and prayed that he would get ahead of me. Now thats wrong !
In a relationship, if its good, both should always feel happy for the other as its supposed to be a partnership, therefore, if ones doing exceptionally well then it'll benefit the other in the long run. It is hard for blokes though I agree, especially when us girls often find it easier to find work (cos we are dab hands at most things and many of the bosses are male and like to give us the jobs...grrrr...that was for you thunder)
I really dont feel that men have the same choice of work that they used to have and technology has made their 'manhood' take a bit of a battering.
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'Unmarried friend who is a partner in a large law firm made the following comment recently "I hang out with you guys when I want to have intellectually satisfying conversation, when it comes to dating I want a sweet girl who's not going to start talking about serious topics because there's no way any date will be as interesting as my mates"'
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Oh bleugh! So basically to him women are either one of the boys or they're silly little bimbos?
I made the mistake of dating a man with no intellect. The same phenomenon in reverse. I was attracted to him because he was very macho, very decent and made me feel looked after. But he was thick as two planks and the conversation ran out pretty quickly after which I must admit I began to despise him. The whole basic evolutionary attraction thing can only take one so far I think. Well I sure have learnt my lesson now - I want my partner to be my best friend with benefits and I choose friends that interest me and stimulate me. Will be sure to apply same criteria to men in future.
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I agree with you snuffles though in my experience its hard to get a man with both. My first man whom i was with for 12 years was bright as a spark and we'd spend hours in bed just talking.. but sadly he wasnt macho enough to keep me interested....he managed it for a long time though (lol)
The next two blokes just couldnt keep up with me and i often felt i was talking to a brick wall. I do believe though that is wasnt a case of their inability to comprehend the conversation but moreover their 'lack of respect' for womens brains that made them shut off.
Im sorry to say that many men just dont want to have conversations with their girls
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Norven Munkey - (nice pronunciation!)you made me laugh earlier ...... but we are not saying we are more intelligent...
I was listening to the World Service this a.m and they had a feature all about this!!
It's stripped away all my old concepts and I'm not sure what's left now!!
Men of old, had all the top positions, were voting years before we were allowed and so girls are clawing their way forward from a disadvantage thanks to History. Years ago and still in some countries, girls are not allowed to attend schools... I reckon we have 'dun marvlus' considering the facts!!
The thing I don't understand is this constant notion of it all being a 'competition'. I have never thought finding an equal would mean I can compete with them.... I don't like competitions, it seems to bring out the worst in people. I just want to be respected as much as I respect that person.
I believe it all comes down to mutual respect and if you have that, then there won't be those unnecessary feelings of outwitting one another.
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Well personally I like my men to be men. This doesn't mean that I want to the 'little woman' but I do expect the man in my life to tell me when I've gone too far (which invariably happens as I'm the sort that'll take a mile.)
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It's encouraging to see a few men on this thread that claim they like intelligent women...
It would be so nice if that were true in practise not just in theory...!
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I suspect that this thread was started because 'Really' hasn't had a date for a while.
At the end of the day we fancy who we fancy - having a great job and prospects doesn't really enter into it as attraction is not something that can be quantified.
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Touche Bear.
(sorry, can't find the accent key on my keyboard for all you linquists out there.)
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Such a refreshing post 'The Bear' well done! And why, may i ask, did you chose 'The Bear' are you really hairy?.....(just thought i'd ask an entertaining girlie question there to lighten things up a bit! :)
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Of course he did it for fun. To settle down I am looking for someone smart, and intelligent (since someone said there is a difference). But in the mean time, why not having fun. In fact a piece of advice : it is better to be with someone who has tried whatever he wanted to try, than to be with a blank page who might wake up one day and cheat on you just to make all his doggy fantasies come true.
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Well2 - are you asking us why your b/f is dating you?? Frankly speaking, only you can know the answer to that. As for the other women in his past, that is a question for him to answer.
I've no doubt that you are a bright young woman but you seem to be a little insecure about your b/f's past. Perhaps this is something you two should talk about.
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I often sit back and wonder at some of the aliases on this site. For a group of successful, mature and intelligent women there is an awful lot insecurity and naivity. I really think there is a market for some sort of relationship etiquette course out here.
Simple questions about behaviour that many women resolve in their teenage years are often asked on this site. I wonder if it is some lack of guidance within the family unit or perhaps more to with cultural norms.
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Well2
19 yrs ago
Take it easy take it easy everyone, actually am always a happy Alian :-) I am not worried or anything. Yes, happen to be a very jealous person but doesnt mean i have negative views on everything all the time.... I am not looking for ANSWERS for PROBLEMS or Whining here, i just wanted to hear others comments on things....Okay okay, for human's sack, i will stop telling you guys my stories (I find it's fun though)...and i'll just listen to others and then fly back to Mars....
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Aya ! When you are in a relashionship : trust your partner, ask question naturaly and bluntly and just accept that he/she has eyes to see and a mouth to laugh at other's jokes. The person is with you, but do not belong to you. Just enjoy the good part of it and do not worry. Worrying does not help, it just kills. Be direct and stupid sometime. Better than have doubts and bitter feelings growing inside of you.
He likes you, he is with you. Good, enjoy it. He has been dating with the joy division ? Excellent, he has a wise and well traveled willie.
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Your name is Alain? You have a human sack?
I am very confused.
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Well2
19 yrs ago
alien & sake
& sorry !
Vulvic u c, i can be very...sighhhhhhhh :-(
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Well2
19 yrs ago
and keep at it, Vulvic :-P
I like ppl being a bit ironic...:-)))))
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Right : Spank me baby, I like.
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Well2 - yes, please don't leave. Your spelling mistakes made me laugh - they were very apt. We all make mistakes sometimes.
Evohe - 'Spank me baby'??? Please explain, lol!
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Well2 : oh I am so miserable, I feel insecure and see I even make spelling mistakes. But people, please bash me I like it.
Hence the spanking ...
Well2 : In fact given the past of your bf, you should use : "God bless you sir" that should turn him on hhahahahaha
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Evohe - that's a bit harsh.
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Well2
19 yrs ago
evohe- really can turn him on by saying that??? I will try tonight! tks so much you lovely :-P
by the way, have you tried to say that b4? Worked?
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evohe
19 yrs ago
If it does not turn him on, I am sure he will laugh and appreciate your humor.
Have I tried ? ... well I have the feeling that it would not raise the flag ...
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Well2
19 yrs ago
oh u r just soooooooooooo LOVELY
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evohe
19 yrs ago
This is usually a very bad sign ...
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Well2
19 yrs ago
hey you are from Mars too? :-))))
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Agree, dated a very yummy one. Lovely
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Well2
19 yrs ago
by the way, MouseFromMars, You would prefer a mum or a gold digger to be your wife/ partner? Just curious....
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Yesssshhhh, a few months ago. Ask the security guard of my building. He knows a bit more about my s** life than you do ...
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So is Evohe a bit of a Don Juan or is just the image he likes to portay
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KAT8
19 yrs ago
He wishes!!
He is just a hopeless romantic at heart eh evohe.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
That was not very bitter my dear Kat8.
Monday tuesday wednesday, happy day ? You are not your sad self today ... hahahah
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KAT8
19 yrs ago
Well we cannot all have dates at breakfast, lunch and dinner!
So many dates, not enough time.
No I am happy today. Ha Ha
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So he is a dateless wonder?
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evohe
19 yrs ago
My england is poor, what do you mean ?
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KAT8
19 yrs ago
Oh he has dates. He is just too choooooosy. I will stop here before he stops talking to me.
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Evohe - I asked if you were unsucessful with the laydees. According to KAT8 you have far too many to choose from, ergo you are a success with the laydees.
Damn it JC, that song is stuck in my head now!!!
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My latin is a little rusty, please translate.
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evohe
19 yrs ago
Nobody's perfect.
You keep on speaking latin. So I decided to stop speaking to you in the pura lingua.
E
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evohe
19 yrs ago
I probably I'm naking tols of nistakes
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My personal view.
My friends and I are NOT intimidated by intelligent and educated women. I would actually rather date/marry someone who is more intelligent than myself.
My problem is that women who describes themselves as intelligent and educated are full of themselves. As if that is at all important. Character, compassion and tolerance are far more important qualities. I have found that most women who describe them as such has none of those qualities.
Intelligence is overated. IMO it is actually a shallow attitude. If I were go go after a shallow attitude, I'll go after looks instead.
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Vulvic, I started this thread to know the opinion of men about educated women. You're right that I haven't dated for quite a while because I choose who I date and I'm quite busy with work now.
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This thread is so funny!! A good one for leading to huge generlisations yet again!!!
Generlisations are a necessary but incredibly annoying concept, but it does make it fun to read!!!
The Bear, Scutdog - you are speaking wise words but are sharing your opinions as much as you say the ladies do!!
I shall say no more....
:)
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Huh? I thought that the whole point was sharing opinions.
I have no qualms about people having opinions and letting the world know when asked. I actually like to hear opinions of others who disagree with me.
My only issue that I think alot of women misinterpret the motives behind the action of men (or non action) and I feel that they shouldn't jump to conclusions.
And of course they are generlizations. How can you ever talk about any group without generalizations since just about any large group has such heterogeneity. I mean you can't say "most men...but some occassional men......but there are uncommomen excetions that........and on rare occassions........except of course when they......." Stating generalzatins but realizing that they are just that is a GOOD thing.
And just to clarify my position, intelligence is a excellent quality and educated is good quality and there is nothing wrong with being sucessful. These are separate qualities and very often people have one,two or three of those qualities with none on them being prerequisites for the other two. I merely stated that women who describes themselves that way because they mistakenly believe that they are important qualities. I personally do not believe that these are important qualities for a mate of either gender.
I guess a good analogy is a man describing himself as "physically with muscles like a god". Any women would like go have a mate who is physically fit and there is nothing wrong with big muscles, but who would want to put up the jerk who describes themselves that way. These qualities are not all that important to women though they don't want a beached whale. Likewise, men (I at least) don't like bimbos and would certainly prefer to date an intelligent woman, it really isn't all that important. But I don't want to put up with the package in women who decribes themselves and intellingent. It makes it even more irritating when they link intelligence with education and professional sucess.
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Scutdog - interesting alias, what does it mean by the way?
Perhaps the women you mention describe themselves in this way because they feel they have something to prove. I agree, it can become very tiresome when someone takes great pains to tell you how good they are at soemthing - nobody likes a braggart.
To be honest, I've never been interested in any of my partners backgrounds. The most important thing is that we get on. I find sport is a good leveller - it strips away the status and trappings and leaves you with the person. That is probably why I have always been drawn to people that I have met through sport...............and none have had muscles like a god, lol.
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yeh...lol
What is intelligence? Who friggin defines it anyways? Im thick as sh*t when it comes down to the men i chose, Im real good at maths but have no sense of direction, i get some words messed up but im not bad with peoples names, i can cook real good and manage to multi task pretty well too...im a great driver a good listener and boy i love to talk....i have a degree but its in social welfare, i'd be sh*t at business, im hopeless at geography and i cant draw to save my life but im so creative in my thoughts that im sure i could write a book! What is intelligence people? I for one dont believe that any system can measure it...but i know who is a dumb F* and thats my Ex!!! LOL hehehehe
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True true true... it's all true!
Apologies to Scutdog if I annoyed you -that was quite a response to my little input. However, Vulvic and indeed Doris have said it all rather nicely! I suppose you dislike people that use too many exclamation marks in their writing too!!!! No??!!!!
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yes Bear i couldnt leave you all. Okay im no longer one of you, but I feel that my input is needed still even if im a real brit again! LOL
What this thread should really talk about is whether men like to hear a womans opinion? LOL
So many of my men have been chatting away to me then one of their mates turn up and they shut off to me turn to them and bang wham thank you mam i dont exist. It may be a simple conversation about where to go or what to eat but a womans view just wasnt important. Then again folks, and im sorry to seem bad here, but both these blokes i describe were american. Could it be that the american culture still puts women ina lower position when it comes down to making decisions? Do they still believe that women themselves are too scatty? Both were chauvanistic, selfish and arrogant pigs and i believe that it was something to do with their unbringing, maybe just maybe american schooling embraces blokes communicating with blokes and girlies just with girlies. What do you think? Am i talking sh*t again? hehe
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thats reminds me of what i used to tell my uncle ..... 'im not very pretty but im clever and you cant have it all' bless me bear, i was only 6 when i started telling men that...no wonder ive had so many problems. And looking back at those pics of me at six i wa gorgeous. I'll never know who told me to tell people i wasnt and that i was clever instead....im gunna kill my mother, she's caused all my problems. Im gunna dye my hair blonde (sorry lam), wear false eyelashes and become a yes and no girl from herein , maybe i will be happier that way! yeh yeh yeh....oooh baby please will you hold me, baby is cold, honey can we sit, baby is tired.....i love you my poo bear baby baby....
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sorry i need some help with those bimbo lines....
its okay honey you go, im tired
i did do cookery in school honey, i can make you cake
will you help me with the form
i dont understand boy talk honey, you go
i wish i could spend more time at home
i wish i could have a little puppy and call it pinky poo
i love you my little bear bear
where is princess sophia
==================================================
see i need some help, maybe there is a class i can go to that will help me find a real man who wants a real woman! LOL
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"Scutdog" is a commonly used nickname for a particular level of education in a particular field. I earned that "title" many years ago.
I like the nickname because it's one of those that if you were one, you know what it means, but it keeps the people who weren't one guessing. So it would defeat the purpose if I "exposed" the meaning. There are at least 2 other people on the forum who were "scutdogs" once.
Hint: They are always highly educated, usually professionally sucessful, but not necessarily intelligent (at least not IMO).
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evohe
19 yrs ago
google won't say anything unfortunatly ...
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Oops! Been busy today and someone actually responded to me!
Doh! (homeresque like)
Bear - I want to respond to your question but feel like I'm backtracking 'cos I missed my chance and so much has happened since then....
Anyway, for those that can be bothered to read on......
I think that an observation made on experience has to become an opinion, merely because it's subjective and depending on how you feel at the time, you will perceive the subtle things differently. But saying that - obs. made on exp. (too tired to rewrite the whole phrase) then can become 'fact' for you, especially if they happen more than once (this reminds me of the smoking thread...hmmm Are we all just going round in circles??)
So in a nutshell, your observations are 'opinions' in the eyes of others but are 'fact' in your own eyes.
How did I do??
Talking total bull??
(probably, you don't have to tell me the bad news...!!)
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I know this thread is about dead, but here's a comment:
Recently in Beijing an expats-only industry group to which I belong [with 1200 registered members and at least 500 active members] ran an ad for 6 weeks:
Singles Support Group:
Are you living single in Beijing? Are you age 36 and up? Are you finding being a Single [industry titles] living a challenge? Do you want to join a support group?
This group will meet every Monday for 10 weeks.
I happily emailed myself "in." Two weeks ago I received the first "Directions to" email and scanned the Other "To:" addresses– about ½ a dozen, and all looked female.
I attended—yes, all female. The coordinator said that NO Men expressed any interest, that evidently only women in BJ feel this void.
Arrrgh. The kicker—ALL of the other women there ONLY talked about their "Singleness" in terms of pre- or post-couple dom.
I'm going back this week, but I seriously doubt I'll continue.
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Really, I share your confusion.
As a man, I want a woman who is intelligent and a hard worker. After all, the traits my woman has will be passed on to my children, right? I don't think there is any more consistent measure of this than education. A girl with degrees from strong educational institutions is a big turn on for me.
However, I find that I seem to be an exception (along with some of the other posters above). Most men I think seek to dominate and they only feel secure in this when they are clearly superior to their "partner". I think such a desire in fact demonstrates their insecurity. So I'll venture that men who are truly confident about their own abilities will have no problem with a smart, educated woman and all the rest you can just leave by the wayside. (After all, do you want your kids to think like them?)
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Very true JC. Have witnessed similar scenes myself. The most memorable of which was at a friends house party. Christmas time, everyone chatting and having fun except for the 3 Asian wives/ girlfriends who sat on the sofa. Several times people tried to engage then in conversation but to no avail. One of them picked up a book and started reading and the other two went off in search of their partners. Dependant in every sense of the word.
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>alexinbeijing: I thought I found an ally in you when you said about education. But the next sentence from you made me disappointed immediately. Have you ever seen any bad-mannered and rude PhD holders? Education makes people different, yes, but it does not necessary mean degrees or institutions. I happen to know both good mannered people with/out degrees and bad mannered people with/out degrees.
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" A girl with degrees from strong educational institutions is a big turn on for me." this is what alex said.
I agree that a person is influenced very much by his/her family and later on the college one attends. But this influence can be both good and bad. If the values that family and college bring up are not in tune with the person's nature, the person will rebel against them.
So I strongly believe in self education. We are educated by real life much longer and possibly in much a painful way, and that is the best education, not the dogmas in school or not up-to-date 'dogmas" at home.
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I had to reply to all of this about men and weman. I think that overall, alot of this is just plain bitterness to the power of 10. Wheather a woman is a doctor, lawyer, politician, librarian, or housewife, really does not matter. Guys just want someone who is easy to get along with. I mean, look at the divorce rate, you need someone who you can trust and depend on. If you are an attractive woman have a good personality you are going to meet guys regardless. Initially, a man may be a little insecure about a woman who makes alof of money (if she makes alot more than him) but it is not such a big issue. Someone is not going to treat someone differently because of it
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Men feel threatened by women, the more beautiful etc etc la la la la.
What drivel.
Is this another instance of some women placeing the blame on men for thier own failings.
Don't blame the punter coz they ain't buyin' wots on offer luv.
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More drivel
But in one sense you are right, with some women the price is just too high. And some peoples attitude personifies this.
But that is an answer for another thread perhaps.
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Ann Drogynouos. I am assuming that you are a woman.
I can easily see how most men would find your intelligence, success, education, and beauty too intimitating.
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Seriously, guys, do you know any happy couples when the woman has a higher education and more success than her man?
I wonder how they can manage their life together!
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wildorchid, you speak the truth...i know very few such couples. takes a very secure, confident man, a very balanced and understanding woman - and a very strong union that can withstand society's criticism and condemnation.
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Actually I do know of one such couple. Wife is much higher earner than hubby and has a far more stressful job. Hubby is more laidback and is happy with his job and having his wife as the primary earner in the home. That said, the hubby is by no means a pushover and is possibley the only person I know that can put his wife in her place when she oversteps the mark.
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My wife is much more intelligent, more capable, has more business savvy, is better educated, earns 5 times what I earn, has much more drive and energy, has more friends, and is heaps better looking than me.
We are of similar age. She is Chinese, and outside fo business and looking after the family, she is a much gentler and well mannered person than me.
She is also my best friend, and I am looking forward to growing old with her. I have never thought that of any woman before.
So go figure.
The only thing I could fault her for is her appaling taste in men (she chose me).
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I believe that Maggie and Dennis Thatcher fell into that category
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Good for you Tigerbay, you're lucky to have her.
If only more men were as well adjusted as you.
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Me well adjusted, you must be kidding? :-0
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Yeah, you have a point, lol!
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Personally, the ultimate factor is not about interlligence, appeareance or financial status, the person has to have a good heart, this will be before anything else.
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Yeah, you don't want to marry someone with a dodgey ticker.
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My mum was older, more educated then my da. She was really pretty and was the bread earner of the family. Now, my dad earn way more then ma used to and they are still happily married for 25 years and is on their nth-time honey-moon.
Guess it really depends on the person.....
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Maybe this marriage to intelligent woman is more common than we thought. Judging by the turn of this thread there are a few of em about.
It may just be that people don't shout about being happy, but will bleet like hell if they ain't. So the unhappy ones are the ones we see/hear from.
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The reason why I raised the question about happy couples was because of my best friend's concern.
She's recently been in contemplating her situation because she feels some cracks in her relationship. She's a very good mannered, intelligent and quite successful in her career. She's asian and her boyfriend is a Western european without a degree and used to be a punk-rocker in his youth. The guy earns more however due to rather some discriminative reasons (he's working for a company of his own country).
OK, that is not the biggest issue. What makes my friend concerned is that she very often gives him "professional" comments which he dislikes because he feels he's not as good as she is. The problem is that they are in almost the same business, where she is much more professional then him actually.
Similarly in their daily life, he often puts her in difficult situations in front of other people and she complains about that (when there are only 2 of them) and he realises how stupid he is but he still feels just a little boy in relationship with her. He's almost 2 years junior indeed.
My friend loves the guy very much but she cannot stop commenting on wrong doing of her boyfriend. She does not want to make him feel she's teaching him but she does hope he would think about her comments and make the changes he considers needed to improve himself and improve their relationship.
To be honest, I don't know what to tell her.
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in that case, wildorchid, sorry but it sounds like your friend is quite a critical nagging person. even worse, she sounds like one of those women who got into a relationship hoping her man would change! we all know how those end up, don't we? from what you write, i can't figure out why they ended up together in the first place.
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It sounds as if they have very little in common. I would imagine from what you have said wildorchid, that they are one of 'silent' couples you often see at restaurants.
Perhaps you should tell her that he may not be the right person for her.
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my mba didn't cover the offside rule either 8-|
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I tell you a true story. I know a guy who graduated from a medicine university. He would have gained the title (medicine) doctor if he go further in this direction, but he changed his interest and started working for a kind of inspection company. But the interesting thing is that on his business card, he always puts "Dr." before his name. People always think he's got a PhD, but those who know them always make jokes about him. He doesn't care and neither his company.
There are a lots of people with academic qualifications but they don't "blow their own trumpet" that way nowadays. They believe that what ever title one has can never compensate if one is dud.
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Intelligent women are actually a turn on for me. However, self center is a huge turnoff. Self indulgence on self congratualatory attitude is such a big turn off that it outweighs the intelligence, financial status, looks...basically everything that is otherwise a turn on. It's the deal killer in a relationship.
I think that the majority of women who are "too educated" or "too intelligent" for the average male are self center. More open hearted women (and men) would never desribe themselves that way or use that as an excuse why they can't attract a mate (or friend).
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I am of the opinion that there are few smart good looking women in Hong Kong. Sigh. Especially who are interested in guys in their early 20s
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rats
19 yrs ago
turnbull82, what is 'smart' ?
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As in;
has own life / career,
has interests outside work,
and - here's the most important part - are single. I've more or less given up on this town.
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I guess it depends on the man & how they feel about their intelligence / education, but I can give one example. My best friend is a coal miner, who is now divorced. He has met a woman who is highly educated, and he did have quite some reservations about his 'acceptability' to an educated woman. Partly, his former wives humiliation of his (not so) intellectual ability in conversation, made him fear 'smarter women'. So some men do fear intelligent/educated women. It doesn't make them feel less attracted though (to my experience).
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David
Perhaps it was notthe woman that was feared. Just the loss of face if he were to be considered socially inept in her social circle.
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