Posted by
E+E
18 yrs ago
I have been with some ones, it was the same that they only want sex.... I am not the one who is crazy for a serious relationship, but as such experience happenned again and again, i begin to feel bad with myself: is it something wrong in my side? I do think so but cant figure out what it is...am i too boring to talk with? is my head full of stupid ideas?
By the way, i am not a sexy-looking woman.
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I think you are using sex to boost your self esteem. Now you are at a point when sex doesn't fulfill its ojective anymore.
Love yourself. Change your attitude about how you see yourself. Think and BELIEVE that you deserve to be loved, respected and cared for.
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What were your intentions when you went out with those men? As you said you weren't after a serious relationship, so if it's about sex, you got it. And I'm sure the guys are happy about that too. Did they just leave and never call back after the night? Is that what's bothering you?
I think you need to first figure out what you want. A lover, a boyfriend, sex, care, attention, respect...Then you'll have a better idea what's not clicking.
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You have low self esteem-you need to understand, accept things you can't change about yourself and appreciate your good points.
When you have done that, ask youself what you really want. And dont be afraid to say or admit that you WANT a serious relationship.
I suspect being treated as a one night stand makes you feel " Anyway, I am not 'crazy' for a serious relationship" That is post reasoning or justifing what has happened to you.
If you dont like the sleeping around thing, make a stand. Choose wisely or at least try-and you will know how to single out the guys who only want sex or want a relatioship
Otherwise if you do enjoy it, don't question it and lie back (or whichever the preference) and enjoy!
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a westner told me there is a saying among them in shanghai, if you want sex find shanghai girls, if you want not only sex find not shanghai girls.
good luck
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E & E...not sure if your a local girl but I would say be careful with Western guys
Many dont' see you as marriage material, just a sex buddy
You got to be realistic. If you don't communicate well or have much in common, you can expect to be in a serious relationship with the other person
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One free spirit. actually you're right race doesn't matter so much but people need to be upfront and honest
Yes its definitely ok to have a booty call but I suspect most of the time this is not clear to the female. There's a lot of deception!
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E+E, I think you are telling the secrete of all the men in the world. Thay all want sex. The diference is, someone try to be honest. Others pretent to be gentleman like..No matter he is a doctor or a company staff,or ...all the same
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lulu
18 yrs ago
What's wrong with wanting sex? I think a good relationship need good sex. However, they just want sex but do not want to commit to a relationship, that might be a fact.
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Lulu, the problem is not only about the commit. It is about a woman could never change her sex partener as frequently as a man. A woman always need to be stable..no matter you call it commitment or sth. That's all becuase of physical differnce with man.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
i think we just need to accept the fact that men adnd women are different animal, so we will not complain too much about it. Somehow i do think women trying to hard to change men, so they are upset.
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so, STILL NO ANSWER for E+E.. hehe
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E+E: I think the key is to be true to yourself and konw and project what you really want for yourself. If it's a long-term relationship, then the possibility of that becoming a reality is getting closer after going through your "sexual" disappointments. For me, I was seeing a dude earlier this year and all the red flags starting flying up the first week. He hardly ate (heavy alcohol consumption??), barely talked (about meaningful things), and wanted to spend the whole Sunday in bed! What does that tell ya? And, when he said he's bedded "100+" women in his life!! I thought how crazy am I, not him! And, the dude also saw "red flags" with me when I declined to stay in bed all Sunday! Eventually, he called it quits over the phone. But, he still wanted to meet, stay friends and talk about it?? Talk about what? My final thought to him was sorry no friendship. I also said it's okay, I'll get over this. Then, he went on an honest spill and declared himself "a bastard." And, I can't agree with him more. There's better fishes in the sea for me. It depends what you want for yourself. And I don't buy into the notion that western expats are in it for sex even though that dude I was seeing was one. It's not entirely hit and miss that we encounter different kinds of people in life but the key is who we choose to draw close to and whether we could live with that choice. And, we normally gravitate toward those who are most similar to our wavelengths and inner energy. So, things always turn out the way they should. You're going to take a dramatic turn after saying to yourself that there's more to loving than just sex. I bid you peace and love!
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Ed
18 yrs ago
Re: Deleted comments.
Any further insults on this forum will result in a ban
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Look people! Simply put, although men may be looking for true love, they view dating differently. Basically a man dates to get sex and hopes that he falls in love along the way. A woman.... well just the opposite. Comprende? Women need to stop fooling themselves. The big mistake they make is that they will "date up" and wonder why all they got was "laid". In other words, they will go out with guys above their class and wonder later why he only wanted sex. Look, guys will screw girls 2 points lower (more if he's drunk). By that i mean, a guy that looks like an 8 will go out with a girl that is a 6, in order to have sex. Come on girls, wise up!
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right on aspect,
and if you've never met his friends or colleagues, or family, guess what? He AINT your boyfriend!
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i guess all gals juz hafta admit this is the fact now... but wut i m realli questioning is how can a guy juz date any gal in order to get laid and dun give a damn sh*t afterwards? guess that's the difference between women n men huh?
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360
18 yrs ago
can't girls just enjoy the sex as men do?
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here's a thought .... maybe they only want sex -- from you. maybe they want a whole lot more from someone who they genuinely feel has a whole lot more to offer
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E+E you need to decide what you really expect from a relationship. You need to start respecting youself. If you accept a date knowing taht you'll end up in bed then you have a problem. Guys like putting it in especially if it is free. Get over those silly thoughts and grow up. Take responsibility for the decisions you make and chin up.
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