Feeling blue.
Did I really look so bad?
Just met a guy over the Internet. Chatting quite deep on MSN. And met him at weekend. Then he dropped my phone call afterwards and deleted me from MSN.
geezzz...
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shaq
18 yrs ago
Sorry! This can be painful and demeaning. But, my dear, don't think or worry about it so much. Such is life. For all you know, it's not that you look bad. But, perhaps, you're way above his league; you're far better and he couldn't deal with it :D.
ShaQ
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Aijin,
Thanks!
Not sure if those guys in personals website more demanding that's why they are searching online.
Usually in a bar or some outings, I'm not difficult to get a date from guys among all my gfs.
Suddenly someone told me that I looked aweful by his act making me feel v. unacceptable and uneasy at my heart :(
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Hi shaq,
I don't think it's bcz I'm too gorgeous for him to handle. He's quite confident himself.
anyway I may not like him. Although his package is v. good overall, I found he's not a nice hearted person from what he said and how he treated others around. So no harm to lose him, just couldn't overcome the feelings of being not appreciated or rejected
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There are some men who can be very superficial when it comes to dating. And this guy sounds like one of them - a real Shallow Hal. If he is only going for looks, he is not worth bothering about.
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13rd,
I tried going for internet way despite getting dates in real life bcz my friends' circle getting smaller and smaller and not too much hanging out these days, And even hangout mostly girls. In bar scene, the guys met are all just for fun. So I need to find other ways.
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monalisa - everyone get a bit of rejection and 'blues' sometime. allow yourself 30mins to get over the guy. Then go and pamper yourself! a manicure, spa, a make over and get your hair done. Go out with friends and let loose! hey! You will never know =)
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be honest I didn't send pic far better looking than my real person. I admitted that I wasn't in good shape on the day we met becz I just came out from flu. But not too much like a monster.....
I just think that guy may be too much demanding.
As I once told him I would like to come out the other day bcz I wasn't in good shape these days bcz of flu. But he said looks not important. And from teh communication I thought he wouldn't look for a beauty queen, but at least not an ugly woman. But I really don't think I'm ugly.
Be true, I was considered by my friends' group as quite nice-looking. So this 's the first time in my life being rejected for looks. Just not used to...
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Monalisa
Internet can be tough, but so is all blind dating. Often we find the person we eventually meet is not the person we percieved. This is normal, but some people can get hurt by the abruptnes of the ending of what is in fact nothing.
Don't invest too much emotional energy on this. Go out with a view that you may meet a toad, but you may also make a friend. Expect nothing more than a conversation with a stranger.
As for the comment about 'all men being shallow', this is not true.
Not all men are shallow and rude.
Not all shallow and rude people are men.
I am a man and I have had some bad experiences. Online and otherwise.
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The 13th,
I definitely don't look like what you described from how I was treated among a group of girls usually in my life. I was quite the centre of attention usually among a few gfs when in many occasions.
I admitted that I didn't look as good as usual on that date bcz of sickness. But definitely not like a toad or monster.
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Often you can have two good people who are a bad match.
Sounds like this guy didn't behave too well after he decided it was not a match.
Put it behind you. Move on. Try to have more than one online friend at the same time. It saves you investing too much emotional energy.
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yes maybe you are right. Indeed I planned not to go out. Just he said he's not much concerned of looks. Though not in good shape as usual, I don't think I really look so aweful to freak a guy out.
I think he's expecting a beauty queen, not a normal looking woman
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nxt time don't trust a guy's words. They said they don't care looks, but they care. Always make yourself gorgeous in the 1st date.
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yes I believer men and women concern their partner's looks and it depends on the degree. For this guy his degree of concern is quite intensified although he said he not care.
On the other hand, looks is in the eyes' beholder, diff. people holds diff. preference. Like I know some guys who claimed they had high standard, but turn out the gals they are after are quite so so, I mean by the opinion of a lot of people not just me. So hard to judge who is beautiful. Or the way I look not appealing to him, just he wants other types, or the types he thought pretty may not be agreed by all.
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lulu
18 yrs ago
there are many tossers in internet and real life, just have to live with that, met them, have a laugh and then move on.
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Aspect,
Hey wait...
"....start blaming the man being superficial/look for sex... blah blah blah..."
I didn't say such or similar things...This remarks made by other contributor.
Sometimes you are just posting for venting blue, not gaining any support or reaffirmation
But agreed that there may be other things happened other than looks that I may not be aware
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well, it feels upset, but not big deal. his beauty judgement is different with most of others.
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Mona Lisa,
What happened was a blow to your self-confidence, and yeah it can put you in a rut if you dwell on it.
March on, nothing can be done about the guy and how he treated you. Let it go. While it may have been a "bad" experience for you, learn from it and start rebuilding your chipped self-confidence. Cheers :)
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you were not what he expected. you are not his cup of tea. though doesn't mean you look awful or hideous.
i had the same experience. don't blame on yourself. i know it takes time to get over such hard feeling but you will be fine
better talk to people with cam before you met them in person :)
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featherinwind
was he a chinese?
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monalisa_jj, it happens sometime but it doesnt mean you look bad. From what he done, I feel he's a very ugly person even inside or outside. So, you should thanks God to let you see more. Now, you no need to waste your time to chat with him anymore. No reason to losing confidence about yourself, he only a full of ugly person that's all.
Be happy
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Answer all your questions:
We did exchange pic before we met. I sent a few recent pics to him which was quite like me in flesh, as I didn't want to make an over-expectation from the guys on my looks. Indeed I met a few guys before him using that pic. Many guys even said I looked better in real person.
For this guy, I didnt' chat with him on web cam. Some other guys, I did. For those who chatted on web cam, they thought I looked quite nice even I didn't wear makeup on web cam bcz usually it's v. late at nite when I was online
Be true, that guy wasn't bad looking. But no harm to lose him becz he had a black heart. Not bcz he dumped me that I said so. From his views on some issues I found he was quite cruel to people in general and to lives. I think I would not fall for him even his overall package was good because his heart is not nice and loving (not mean to me, or one or few persons) but to the world in general.
But I feel blue just bcz I didn't like the feeling of being rejected.
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So, if White guys like the Asian girls, and the Black guys like the White girls? Who likes the Black girls? Sistahs need love too... and the Africans are not into non-Africans. So, what's up?
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