Posted by
tia
19 yrs ago
Happy freaking birthday to me!
I think I have just received the world's worst gift from the b/f.
I am incredibly hurt by this gift.
Do I tell him how bad I feel, how crap this is or just ignore it?
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at least he remember your birthday sweetie.
that's the whole point right? it's a bonus that he attempted to get you a gift. even though maybe it was last minute, that is why the gift was crap.
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C'mon, my first Christmas with my then b/f, now hubbie, he gave me mosquito zappers & steak knives. He's very into practical things.
How bad can it be?
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Krabi
19 yrs ago
It rather depends on what the gift is. A book called "Practical advice for ugly people" or "How to stop embarrassing your boyfriend in public with your stupidity" is pretty offensive, and you'd be justified in being hurt.
However, if your disappointment is more down to your own expectations than anything else, then you'd be wrong to challenge him. The 1st impulse of virtually all men is to give something useful or practical (bombastic!). The only reason any man would give flowers or jewellery is because he has learned that this gets a favourable response. It's no good for a woman to sit and wait for "the perfect gift" to turn up - you have to give clues (pictures, directions to the shop, etc). Then you get what you want, and he's as happy as a pig in sh!t coz he did the right thing (for once).
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tia
19 yrs ago
OOps. Thought I wrote what it was.
I got a spool of 50 burnable DVD+Rs.
Practical, I can live with. This (to me) says that zero thought went into it. I live in Hong Kong, lnd of all things cheap when it comes to PCs and he sends me blank discs?
It is not about the money spent. I truly feel that he put no thought into it.
I am not a flowers and Tiffany kind of girl.
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tia
19 yrs ago
Nope..nothing on them...sealed package. He is not the one with a DVD burner.
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My God! LMAO! That's the lamest gift i've heard so far. It's worse than dumb and dumber. Well, don't get mad, get even, buy him 50 burnable CDs for christmas. He will get the message.
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I'd make it a pack of just 10... or 3! and then say 'I was going to get condoms but thought these were better instead!!'
My bf thought he'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone when he bought 'me' for 'my birthday' the Lara Croft trilogy for pc which 'he' proceeded to play every moment of every day for a few weeks!!! That was thoughtful of him wasn't it!!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Is that getting the bowling ball engraved with HOMER?
I don't even know what to SAY to him. When I rang him to tell him that the package arrived, I said "Thanks....BUT...you DO KNOW I live in Hong Kong...land of all things cheap when it comes to PCs?" His reply was that he was stumped.
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Good advice jimmylee!
He probably did steal the DVDs. In fact, he probably stole anything he ever gave you, and everything he owns himself. He's probably a hardened criminal who's going to drag you down into a sordid life of drugs, prostitution and crime.
Yes, dump his sorry a**! It's far better to be single than to have a boyfriend who gives crap presents (especially probably stolen ones). Let's get priorities straight, and remember what's important in a relationship.
Alternatively, you can take no notice of stupid, shallow, man-hating posts!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Thnaks Grenade for the laugh. I have no intention of dumping his a$$ or any other body part for that matter. I know what is important. At the moment, I am a little miffed and hurt.
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tia
19 yrs ago
It has nothing to do with money, wether you believe me or not, it does not. It has to do with the lack of thought. We don't do Xmas gifts, so I can avoid that one all together.
I hope to be able to laugh about it. I really do.
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jimmylee888, i have to agree with you: "it's the thought that counts" IS a cop out, when you realize what the thought really says....
yes, great, bravo, thanks for the burnable dvd's...but the guy shouldn't get a standing ovation. maybe would have gone better this way: a thank you - always! (a gracious receiver of gifts always says thank you) - then a laugh (a boyrfriend does deserve your sense of humor, plus a little more of a break than mere mortals; i have to admit nemesis is right about the gift being hilarious) - then, "ok honey, what did you REALLY get me?" ;-)
that would have given him a chance to say immediately how stumped he was, and would have set the two of you down the right track: figuring out together what you really want for your birthday. we humans are all guilty of wanting our mates to be mind-readers...
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Nemesis is right: it's the thought that counts.
And it's pretty freakin' obvious that absolutely zero thought went into this gift.
I suspect he either forgot it was your birthday or to get you a present and the crappy stack of burnable DVDs was all he could get hold of at such short notice. If he'd burnt some films for you it would have shown he'd made some effort and that some consideration went into what you might enjoy.
It's not a dumpable offense, but maybe you could drop a hint as to the thoughtlessness of the gift. Maybe take him birthday or X'mas shopping for one of your friends and say how you don't want to spend a lot of money but want to choose something you know X or Y would really love. How you know they don't need much but would appreciate some thought and effort that came from the heart...
The old, 'my friend' trick so popular with doctors and agony aunts.
And if not, wait 'til his birthday swings around next year and buy him a pack of socks.
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tia
19 yrs ago
Yes, I will have to have a little chat with him and try not to hurt him in the process.
His birthday is in 20 days and I have already given him part of his gift.
Shall see what happens.
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tia
19 yrs ago
I gave him a shirt and a wallet I bought while in Italy this past summer.
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Girl, you shoulda gone with the socks. And given the wallet and shirt to your dad or someone for Christmas.
Did he display even an iota of guilt at the disparity of the birthday gifts? I would have totally rubbed it in, like, "I spent sooo much time picking this lovely wallet/shirt out for you, I just wanted to give you the perfect present for your birthday to show how much I cared..."
Wow. I'm so passive aggresive I almost gave myself a stitch. OK, maybe it's way better just to point it straight out: "I'm a little hurt that I spent so much time picking out a present to suit you and it doesn't seem like you did the same for me..." Or something.
I mean, what could he have been thinking?!
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No men aren't mind readers but they all haven't had labotomys either. On what planet would a stack of DVDs be considered a good present?
What will she get next year? A bottle of Jif?
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tia
19 yrs ago
It is useful and I do go through many of them. He has not had a lobotomy, but I am thinking there was a small moment of loss.
ODdly, I was not sure what to expect, but that was a bit of a shocker.
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haha so you got the burner not him! And he got you the cd's in order to burn stuff for him cos you didnt have any! Am i right?
Your BF is practical and thoughtless but dont worry about it dear many men are ...many men also find it difficult to chose a gift for their GF unless mum is about and then all is saved and she thinks he is wonderful even though little does she know but he didnt even have to go out to buy it...mummy did! My old BF once got me a lovely pair of silver earings and i was blown away by his tthought and choice until his mum came for sunday dinner and told me she had found it hard to find something i would like. I looked accross the table to see his little face go white with shock....he should have told mum not to tell me really.
Men can be very thoughtful but sometimes those thoughts dont actually get practised.
If your BF is a nice guy then you need to tell him that you were a touch dissapointed by the cd's, not because of their value but because of the obvious lack of thought. Explain that next time he needs to think of something 'special' even if its just your fav choc bar or mag or something that signifies that he's thinking of making this special day nice for you! Happy birthday
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I think is going to suprise you with a recording camera and have both of you in history of lovemaking at home...video..."Just the Two of Us" in DVD+rs....just kidding...
ah come on...its the thoughs that counts...like doris said, give him the right thoughts...he'd probably wanted to shop at tiffany's but afraid you might scold him being too expensive....and that he should'nt have....
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SF no woman in her right mind would scold a guy for buying her something from tiffanys unless they were sharing a bank account and were skint. that reminds me...lol
Back in 1990 my BF of the time bought me a really expensive gold ring with the diamonds...i so didnt like it but was blown away by the thought that he must have put into getting it. Problem was ...he was skint then and couldnt pay his half of the rent...but no i didnt scold him i just paid his half too and smiled sweetly whilst thinking 'you bloomin wally!'
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okay pumpkin so there are exceptions....oops i should have said 'most women in their right minds ....' ooooh i dunno it gets confusing when you try to add in the exceptions too. ahhh
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okay... this is a great thread! I've had loads of crap gifts!!! Some ace ones too though.
But I think the defining moment in crap gifts came the year we had to go to our Aunts house for Boxing day...
It was an ordeal before the day began. You know, the thinking hard of what your cousins and Uncle and Aunt liked without sinking into second rate gifts like ties for men etc etc etc.
So we arrived and looking back, it was evident that they had probably forgotten we were coming or just couldn't be sodded to buy anything for us. So my Aunt saw us bringing in these gifts for them all and dashed off for a few minutes telling us she was in the bathroom...
We thought this was odd until the time of opening the presents.
It became clear she had been in the bathroom frantically wrapping gifts for us.
I'll have to list them because she managed to get us random Shite total sh*te presents for everyone!!
A remarkable feat!
100 % failures across the board...
Brother 1 - a half bottle of red wine with bouquet garni for mulled wine
Brother 2 - A tin of dutch butter biscuits
Brother 3 - A set of coasters with old fashioned victorian scenes on each
Mum - a pot of jam (okay, it was Fortnum and Masons...but still!)
Me - a big bar of chocolate and the most enormous pair of pants size fu**in 18!! I was only about 15 years old then!!!
They didn't look that new and wanting to cry I managed to squeak "they're too big Aunty" she simply replied "well, eat that chocolate and you'll soon fit them"
Needless to say - all respect flew up the veritable chimney and out into the deep ether. I found out where these gifts came from... a bloody hamper from my Uncles workplace as the Christmas gift for them!!!
Am I being cruel and heartless when I no longer correspond with this 'thoughtful, loving side' of my family???
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lammasita those gifts were what the poor woman had probably been receiving from people for the last ten Christmas'. Its always hard to know what to buy gran and i must be honest every gift you listed would have been on the list of 'what to get gran for xmas'' and if you imagine the home help, grandad, her kids and their kids and the neighbours all select stuff from that list until gran ends up with cupboards full of shortbread, jellies, over sized pants, jam, chocolate, wine, coasters, socks and of course those wonderful biscuits.
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there is nothing 'poor' about that woman!!!
Think of "Mrs Bucket" and you have my Aunty!
If her husband pays 'Sir' tax I think she could have stretched a little further than a Harrods hamper!
We did!!
lol
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i meant poor in a sympathetic sense lammasita....and what do you buy your gran for xmas then? pray enlighten me lol
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nothing... she's dead
who are you anyway?
;)
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the girl who was talking about gran presents cos your gifts from your aunt were simular to what we bought gran. Anyways back to it then!
talking about good and bad pressies my favourite one of all time was tiny tears.
she (to me) was teany weany tiny tears...i was six years old and that particular year i was given everything i asked for, real spoilt....but the only thing i wanted was that little ugly, blonde wigged, dwarf alien child thing with real weird lips and a possessed look on its face.
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Doris! Sorry if I gave you guilt then - didn't mean to, my Granny will be laughing too...
Actually, I gave her good gifts!! It meant thinking about it about 6 months before the event, but I usually made it
E.g. - she had this really bad dried flower arrangement in a basket-shaped-as-a-goose in her fireplace. I asked her about it and she said 'Oh, that thing - I was made to do it at the WI' (she didn't like it, but still went every week!!!Go figure) so I asked if I could do something and came up with what I thought at the time was an inspired arrangement of goslings (grass heads stuck together and fimo eyes and beaks) looking out of the back of the basket-shaped-as-a-goose filled with sea lavender etc etc (to look downy)!!
I was 13 at the time....
She loved it!
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just reminded me of some of the gifts ive had over the years from children. One child gave me a beautiful photo frame with her picture in it...it wasnt wrapped and came straight from her school bag.. Bit suss i thought so i asked her where it had come from and she replied 'my bedroom' i then asked her if mum would be happy about it she said 'no'. it was a really sweet moment and i will never forget that little girls face as she put it back into her bag. She really wanted to give me something but she also knew that she would be in big sh*t. She got everything from that experience, she got my attention and saw that i understood and relief from knowing she didnt have to go through with it.
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This thread has got real interesting
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tia
19 yrs ago
WOW! Lammasita, you may win. At least I know mine was not a second-hand gift. I would not be too friendly with them either. :)
I have received some very interesting gifts from kids in the past as well. They try so hard to impress.
As an update, I did tell darling boyfriend and we had a little talk about it. Yes, I am tough to buy for and yes, he does hate shopping. I am a DVD burning geek and no, he is not keen for us to make a homemovie. He'll make it up to me....I know he will. Hopefully, it won't cost him anything. ;-)
I have to agree that if my b/f started buying bling bling for me, I would be a little suspect. (A) He hasn't the dosh for that and (B) I am not a big bling bling girl. He knows better than that.
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When I was leaving the UK, amongst a pile of dubious presents were:
- a small soft toy bear (2nd hand!)
- several cheap and particularly ugly porcelain figurines.
I was 24yo - and I am male.
Other questionable presents have included:
- a hideous musical tie.
- a "silk" shirt, which melted when I came too close to a naked flame once.
- a plastic Father Christmas sitting on a toilet, which played Jingle Bells when you pushed a button.
Please, please, please - if anyone wants to buy me a Chrismas present, I would LOVE a box of blank DVD's!!!!!!
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tia
19 yrs ago
I am sure one day, I will laugh about it...and not the bitter nasty laughs that have been coming this weekend.
I like the charity idea. Dinner and a movie is also a nice idea. Perhaps next year, I will petition of a birthday boycott.
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STUCK
19 yrs ago
Tia that present takes the biscuit and you are long distance anyway so you would think he would be a bit more considerate!!!
Definetly a word in his ear i think is worth doing! i knew of someone who gave there wife a cartier watch and she just didn't like the design and decided to pluck up the courage and tell her husband as she felt, 'well i have got to look at this everyday for the next 30 years or whatever', so her husband said. 'i know what we can do with it' and proceeded to walk to the garage where he got a hammer came back put the watch on the kitchen surface and smashed it to smithereens!!!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Just had to share this quote that someone e-mailed to me....I love my friends.
"I would really like it if you gave me that useful gift you might give a friend AND that thoughtful gift for your chosen partner and the girl who touches your pen!s."
HA!
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Quite a few years ago I had the joy of breaking my leg very badly in the middle of October and would be in plaster for about 3 months with another 2 operations coming up. My wonderful boyfriend at the time gave me a freaking Reebok step with video. I dumped the guy, kept the step as it was good to rest my leg on and handy for getting things out of high cupboards
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it was my 21st and i was having a huge get together and was crazily excited as i had mates coming from all over the place. My BF woke me at 10am with a cooked breakfast...the bacon was burnt, the eggs uncooked, the beans slightely warmed and sausages were a little pink but I appreciated that he was trying his best to make it my special day...how cute!
Anyways the day goes on and a group of friends call to say that they cant make it as the car is off the road. Im gutted!
Ten minutes later my BF best mate arrives and he announces that they have to go out for a bit.
Im left all alone but i know that they have gone out to buy me a special present.
Time ticks away and i notice its 8pm and no-one has arrived,....i start to feel sad and depressed.
Then several of my mates arrive and we start to drink.
It gets to about 10pm and no sign of the BF so we go to the club. He turns up at 12 and by then im angry. he is so drunk he can hardly talk and hands me a wrapped present. I open it to find 'easy rider!' 'What the F* 'i ask, he stutters....'well it was hard love thats why we got drunk!'
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meeow
19 yrs ago
tia> forward your bf a link to this thread!! I must share this one! a long time ago, we had some friends over for dinner, one of the couples brought along a box of chocolates (which we ended up not opening then, unwrapped the gift wrap later, but didn't open the packaging...diet blues! )..a few days later,a friend of ours was having a do, so I wrapped the same box and passed it on....a couple of weeks later, we again had some friends over, and guess what, I get the same box of chocs, still wrapped in my gift wrap (though you could tell it had been opened and then shut a few times from the side to check what it was!). I'm pretty sure I consumed it to save the round trip again!!! On a worse note, I was also the recipient of a box of expired chocolates! Needless to say, they got thrown away, but I have never failed to give a less than nice gift to the person who gave me those!
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thats beats the biscuit meeow!
reminded me of a gift that same BF had received from his parents...lol lol lol
It was xmas and me and my BF went to my parents for xmas. we both knew that although mum wasnt that good at choosing presents for us that they would be expensive and returnable. We took all our presents that friends and his parents haad bought us.
On the way up north in the car, he turned to me and said 'i asked my mum for a chess set, wonder what she bought though' we both laugh knowing full well that his mother would have bought us the usual crap as she never shopped anywhere other than pound land.
Xmas day arrives and the floor is covered with presents. We open our gifts and eat our dinner. After dinner we are all sat around when suddenly mum comes in with a parcel. She turns to my BF and says 'you left this one upstairs, you missed it, open it ' My BF turns red (he had left it there for a reason) My mum says 'its from your mother' he turns more red......
He opens that chess set in such a way that everyone in the room roars with laughter....he knew it would be crap and so did we but his mum certainly did make our day! Bless! I should mention that to this day she still believes she did good in getting him a chess set from woolworths for 2.99
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By the way i should have mentioned that my BF mother was never short of cash she just didnt ever see the need in buying anything worth more than a few quid.
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Lol!
Dorris, you've reminded me about my brother!
One year he asked mum if he could have the Action Man tank..... we all gave our wishes too.
Anyway, the day came and it was looking promising for my brother!
A largish box that would just fit a tank, the sound of little pieces rattling around in the box etc etc.
He opens it to reveal a pink Sindy Jeep!!!
If 'gutted' were in his vocabulary back then he would have used it as an expression.
He was so embarrassed that he and his other brothers spent the subsequent weeks trying to destroy the thing. They would hurl it over the sea wall, drive it into the swimming pool and they even built huge ramps leading into the heart of our bonfire! The thing was indestructable!!! However, they did manage to singe off the pink heart with the red 'S' on it!!
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lammasita - What in the world could make your mum think that a pink sindy jeep was an appropriate present for a boy? Does he bring it up now?
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Here is my present story, some 24 years ago I was engaged to be married( to a Majors daughter) and was sent with my regiment to the Falklands). I was six months out of Sandhurst and will admit to being apprehensive about the whole thing, from being in control of experienced soldiers to being shot. M
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Sh@t hit the go button too quick, Anyway the soon to be Father in Law collared me before shipping out and handed me two small packets and said I should open them whilst en-route. A couple of days later I did so and one contained a small book containing stories of great military screw ups made by famous generals etc and was enscribed don`t worry you will get it right, just worry about the sodding commanders, it made me smile and also sorted my head for teh events to come, the other packet was a series of pictures of his daughter from the age of about one to the present day along with a note that said just forget all that queen and country stuff we have been teaching and do it right for her. Great guy and still a good friend despite my subsequent marriage to his daughter not working out
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Snuffles - The story of the pink jeep is a constant dig/example of how mum gets it severely wrong when buying presents for her sons....
When we feel merciless, we bring it up!
She used to do it with clothes too!
One brother received a yellow jumper while another got a pair of dungarees with 'stop' on the back and 'go' on the front!
There's this old picture of him looking thoroughly pissed off having to wear them on Christmas day!! BTW they were only 8 and 11!!
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stop and go lol lol lol
think i just pissed myself
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I forgot to mention that the dungarees were Tartan!! With the words written inside a large blue hexagon edged with red!... lucky him! :D
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tia
19 yrs ago
Is everyone done their Xmas shopping?
As Xmas approaches, I am wondering what Darling b/f will get me. Printer paper?
What's HE getting? Oh, this will sound BAD, but it is truly what he wants and asked me for. Printer cartridges. Yup. Spoke to him yesterday as I was heading in to WanChai and told him I was swinging by the PC Center and that is what he asked for when I asked him if he wanted any PC gadets for Xmas. I did comment on how unromantic and painfully practical that is, but he is adamant that is what he wants. *sigh*
He also gets to spend Xmas with me. That should be enough of a gift. ;-)
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hey tia, be happy that you know what your man wants. Otherwise your "romantic" present would be in a drawer and he would never have a look at, not to mention to use it! So at least, he could think of you every time he makes a print-out with your gift:)))
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tia
19 yrs ago
This is true. He'll be happy with them and that is all that matters.
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Most of women are good at selecting gift for their beloved than men, it might because women are somewhat more meticulous and conciderate. Of course,I do agree with Jimmylee888, if he loves you and can put more thoughts on choosing you a gift which YOU FAVORED regardless the value of the gift, he cam make you have a happy and romantic birthday.
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>tia - I think I understand now why he sent you that spoon of DVD! he must be kind of PC/IT addicted, right?
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Tia you hypocrite, lol!!! After all the opinions and meanings read into your birthaday present, you reciprocate with printer cartridges!! Perhaps you could lessen the blow with a value-pack of socks.
Just kidding.
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Sadly, I think I'll be getting some this Christmas Pumpkin, lol!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Socks are a good idea. ;) HA!
I am only reciprocting with those because he asked for them.
And yes, in ways, we are both PC/IT nerds.
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Tia - the main thing is that you are both on the same page, so to speak.
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Hey wait! you can turn it into something very romantic with your printer cartridges present for your boyfriend! What if you suggest him to print a nice picture of you both with that cartridge?
Pleasae tell me if you like the idea!:)
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Errrr.......nice try Wildorchid but it's still printer cartridges, whatever you choose to print with them.
Yup, a highly entertaining thread if ever there was one.
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Me too. I nearly fell off my chair when she told us what she'd bought him.
These things don't matter when you in luuuurve, aaaaahhhhhh.
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You know we are only messing Tia.
When do you fly off to meet your betrothed?
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Printer catridges! At least it was a request and not some gift (by the way that word means poison in German)....
Once a boyfriends mother bought me a synthetic lacy brunch coat(do people still know what they are? You put it over your nightgown and it is a summer thing - just so you are more suitably attired when you go to the bathroom etc.)
It was the ugliest thing in the most atrocious shade oflight blue with whit synthetic lace over the top. I found a use it. I gave it to the dog, who spent many days sleeping with it, and probably having nightmares because of it.
The boyfriend was offended and thought I should have worn it in front of the mother. I reasoned with him that I was not going to go and visit her EVER in a nightie and brunch coat.
EVER! But I dumped him for many reasons shortly after and I never had to suffer either of them again.
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I think we call them Day Coats over the water. Yes, I can just imagine it. Should be worn with pink mules trimmed with ostrich. Delightful!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Oh I know. All in good fun.
This time, next Friday, I will be there. I leave Thursday night, 11pm. Can't come soon enough.
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beware of Brunch Coats...they are a little outdated these days....but then my parents are asold as the hills...
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tia
19 yrs ago
Well, am now with said lovly boyfriend in Aus and gave him his printer cartidges, which he was thrilled to death with. Did I mention he is an odd duck? ;-) Still love him though....
I also ordered him some nice coffee from a place we went to in Cairns Eastre of 2004. That was his surprise gift and was vrey well received.
He *DID* buy me something...and it was not PC related. It was a very nice gift basket from the BodyShop. He's learning....and I learning to not give hints as much as direct locations. :)
I hope everyone has a wonderful Xmas filled with perfect present. If not, we want to hear about them here. :)
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any chance the dvds a joke?!!! :) I once bought a gal a pint of milk for her bday, I certainly stood out from all the other guys she's ever dated lol
and we really lasted too :)
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meeow
19 yrs ago
Its just after X-mas..surely there are some more classics out there!?!
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tia
19 yrs ago
Do we dare ask...anyone get crap gifts for Valentine's Day?? Or NO gift and were expecting one, like my very furious co-worker this morning.
I got a sweet card and a great conversation. Can't ask for more....
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tia
19 yrs ago
I am going to that this weekend and am very looking forward to it.
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I want to add something to this crap gifts thing which I am sure that has been said before....although there are plenty of crappy gifts that have been given, and we all understand why they are crap, the WORST gifts are gifts that are given with some expectation attached to them.
I was given a gift recently and it was implied that because that gift was given I should be eternally grateful, and beyond that do what was expected in return. Although what was expected was not explicitly stated, I am well aware of what was expected.
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tia
19 yrs ago
Ooohhhh.....that's not nice. Not nice at all.
Is she/he expecting a boot to the butt, because that is what they deserve. :)
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Knowway! he may as well have just done that! However he never got lucky, but just got really annoying, and I thought about this. Is was a classic example of a spoilt boy acting up because he didn't get what he wanted.
No, it is not nice. A boot to the butt would have been too good as that would have shown that I even cared enough. However what was that thread about being ignored, and that it really irks the annnoying person if you don't answer their calls, emails, and SMS's....there is your answer ;-)
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come on flabbergasted, what did he give you? ;-)
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Think about it VofR! Valentines Day.... roses, chocolates all the usual for that tackiest of days...
Good on you Flabbergasted for not fulfilling his expectations!!
A recent crap gift for you all - a foot tall wooden ferris wheel music thingy with plastic painted mice in the seats and a windmill next to the whole thing!!! You wind it up and then watch in sick fascination (for about 10 seconds) as the wheel turns with a jerky motion and the windmill revolves at varying speeds!!
Sorry to say that my humanity stopped me from throwing it immediately into the bin, but it did go to the back of my deepest, darkest cupboard and there it will stay for a couple of months until I can throw it away without repercussions or guilt...
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??? i must be really dense, because i can't fathom what gift flabbergasted got so upset about. i just want to know, because maybe it's funny, like tia's dvd-r's, or your ferris wheel.
i don't think roses or chocolates are crap gifts, on any day. and if there are any expectations attached to them, who cares? that's the giver's problem - it's up to me to grant them, or not.
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Maybe it was a blindfold and an ostrich tickling feather!!!
No expectations there from a first date, eh??!!!!!
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VoR - the crap thing was that his gift was designed to get me into bed. The gift itself was fine.
I intend to fufill my own expectations, and giving is not so you will receive...
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come on flabbergasted, what was it? ;-)
lammasita, if it WAS a blindfold and an ostrich feather, on a first date, no less - i'd probably laugh my head off and say "fat chance, and good luck", then sit back and see what the giver's reaction would be. maybe it was a joke?
as for your ferris wheel, maybe you could recycle it, give it to some kid, perhaps a young niece or nephew - SOMEONE might find it amusing, as a gag gift.
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I am not 'so upset' it just makes any gift a little sour if that is indeed the expectation...
Granting them or not is another thing altogether...
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tia
19 yrs ago
That Ferris wheel sounds HILARIOUS! I'd re-gift it someone...
Flabbergasted: It sucks when a gift comes with an expectation. It could be the nicest thing in the world, but if he expects you to be eternally grateful and do something you do not want to do, it's more of a bribe than a gift, isn't it? Bah!
A blindfold and a feather? Now *I* would have liked that...maybe I'll ask for that next year! :)
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Yeah, it is actually true when a gift comes with an expectation....you see....sometimes you expect a person to be excited or something when they open a gift....but you are not actually expecting because of a gift to open their legs and be eternally grateful.....and if that was expected....well the gift should be at least of eternal exectations - like lifetime guarantees of income - but besides all of that because I am not into stuff like that - it is really bad form to try to pressure someone into sex becuase you buy them an unwarranted gift.
GIFT in German means poison by the way.
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if you were that miffed about it, why didn't you just return the "poison"? just hand it back with a firm "thanks but NO THANKS"
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VoR, you obviously think I have done something wrong here, but are missng the fact that not all expectations are laid down in stone immediately.
It didn't happen immediately I was given the gift, but I realised after the gift had already been used up...I thought it was nice gesture until five very frustrated days later, and then when it became obvious I just told him that the expectations were unrealistic, and uncalled for, and the pressure that went with that so called gift, which tia has aptly named a bribe, was enormous. It was not well received nor was it expected.
It was a little hard to hand back the non existant gift at this stage by email. But I made it known while I had appreciated it at the time, and I thought it had been a nice gesture, it was only appreciated until pressure was put on me in the form of "I have given you a gift therefore you owe me something" kind of attitude in a very hostile way.
But anyway VoR, I do NOT have to explain this as common sense will tell you that not everyone motives are clear at first, and I am not such a cynic that I suspect these are the motives of any act of kindness or generosity.
However if the gift had not been used I would have returned it IMMEDIATELY. Or not even accepted it.
My goodness, not only does this happen, and it makes me a little incredulous, but justifications are demanded as to my actions. Remember the only actions I took was humbly accepting a small gift with graciousness.
Next time I accept a gift I will hand out a questionnaire to be filled in to ascertain any uncertainties there may be, and so I can decide whether to hand back a gift right then and there.
Would that satisfy the self righteousness of those too willing to judge?
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no justifications were asked of you...just a sense of humor, for pete's sake! what an impressive dissertation. chill out! no need to be so defensive. i hope you enjoyed consuming the gift anyway.
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Okay, VoR, for my sense of humour
perhaps you should change your handle to voiceofrighteousness
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actually, that would be a better handle for you, flabbergasted ;-)
knowway, you naughty boy...!
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knowway - "Who gives a nose-hair trimmer to a woman?"
a man who is about to become (or remain) single
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tia
18 yrs ago
It's been one year since the Crap Gift of the Millennium arrived.
Darling boyfriend of last year is now my darling Husband. Shocked I did not turf him? Yeah, me too. :) (j/k)
He has learned. No more PC supplies for me this year. My fav licorice, a good book and a CD from an Aussie indie band I took a liking to this summer.
They do learn. It also did not hurt that this year, I sent a list of suggestions....none of which included DVDs! :)
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tia
18 yrs ago
Heh. Ironically, the things he bought were NOT on the suggestion list. I'll never train him. I would not want to. Where is the fun in that???
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