Posted by
hoodedman
18 yrs ago
Just asking, are there many mixed couples out here in Guangzhou? And if so, have you encountered lots of cultural difficulties? And why is it that i like never see, or maybe once or twice, Chinese men with foreign girls...
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Its a rare sight for a local guy with a foreign girl; I've actually tried it but it was so disastrous that I never told anyone about it :)
There are tons of mixed couples there and yes, some problems are avoidable due to cultural differences. I can mention a lot of things but i dont want to bore you with the details :) but for a quick summary, problems happened because the other party might be too traditional or too liberated.
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-> Naimakiddo -> So you dated a Chinese man? What was that like?
-> Aijin -> are you a writer or something? And basically what you are saying is that an Asian (or Chinese) man cannot date a foreign girl cos he would feel inferior right? Just to get it straight.
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I've been in a mixed relationship with a Chinese man for 4 yrs now. With normal day to day stuff we don't have any cultural differences. My boyfriend was born in HK but grew up in Canada, so we have a lot in common being as we're both very western.
The only problems come up with his family obligations. I don't have any family obligations, and I can talk to my family or not talk to them as I please. However, he has to do what he's told and this and that or people will get angry with him. It frustrates me that he's getting close to 30, but his family still treat him like he's 12. We've had some rows over it, but all it takes is a little understanding and a bit of compromise on both sides and it all works out fine!
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Its just a fling....he's a local guy from GZ and we need to use papers and translators everytime we went out!
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I know a few foreign women with Chinese guys myself included.I think if the guy is one of the 'young generation' Chinese,educated overseas very open minded that's the ideal combination,best of both worlds.
A lot of Chinese guys are very traditional with a strong sense of family and obligations so if you snatch one who's had that experience abroad you'll have a great relationship.They say love between a man and a woman can cross cultural barriers is a load of bull.Communication is always the key and understanding each other's culture.Lordy translators Naimakiddo?Did that extend into the bedroom?
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Communication is indeed key to understanding one another, i think. But i do wonder if you could like really grasp, one day, all these "weird" Chinese habits... like the superstitious stuff or his or her family who s like always bugging the two of you...
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Nope, that's impossible. I cannot remember how many times my eyes popped open in surprise.
But of course, its either you ignore it, bear it or leave!
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Rubbish! I have more weird habits and superstitions than my hubby.He's the one who loves ketchup and chip sandwiches and I'm the one who tells him eating a box full of mangoes makes the body too hot!He loves pasta and cooks Italian and I love Thai and BBQ's.I like green tea he likes the odd Fosters and football.I decorate the house full of red stuff and burn incense and give out all the red pockets Chinese New Year he sends my family prezzies for Christmas,he remembers all the birthdays,I go to Lantern festivals and tomb sweeping things.As for the in-laws they put up with 'him' and 'adore' me more.He is too foreign for them and I'm just an independent weird Aussie turned Chinese!There you go,it can work.
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LMAO, Hoodedman are you suggesting that inlaws WONT always be bugging you and butting into your personal lives when they are not invited if they are from your same culture? I find myself wondering if you have ever been married.
I TOTALLY agree that communication is paramount and I have been addressinbg that at home in my own situation, which is much improved of late. As long as your communication is functional and you care for each other then who cares what percent is verbal and what's pictionary. The couple in question just has to come to terms with cultural issues like whos wearing the pants on what issue and as long as those friction points are overcome then multicultural/racial whatever is just all part of the beauty of diversity.
What would a restrnt be if every dish were the same, where is the beauty in a garden with all of the same plants? In the end we are all people but our differences make us unique and special. Dont let others turn you off of a fulfilling relationship by making too much out of surface differences.
If you fit together and youre happy then its all good. My wife is Italian, New Yorker and Im German/English/North Carolina-Southerner. If you are American you prolly know thats actually as different culturally as any two countries LOL, but we are making it work (the new uberfast motorcycle we are out playing on every nice weather day is helping LOL, but sriously culture is learned and you can learn to deal with any issues that arises if you talk/draw/translate your way through them and if you BOTH WANT to get through them.
Sasquatch
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Sasquatch I'm an Aussie married to a Chinese guy.We have a magic relationship but never easy to understansd the in-laws.I speak Cantonese and Mandarin but I'm out of my depth when it comes to raising the baby.I wanted out of hospital one day later,they made me stay a week (was going nuts),then we brought the baby home they put up many 'signs' to ward off evil spirits.
The night before I was married guys broke into my house to 'steal' me away from my 'family' with window cleaner ropes and wanted to pay money to release me from my family.(they're in Oz) my girlfriends called the police we're on the 18th floor.Nobody got hurt but we were in the local newspapers and one guy smashed a neighbur's window (this happend in in GZ).It's fun but mad and you have to know what you're in for.I never regret it though,hubby is perfect.Stuff to tell the grandkids,
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