Age difference means problems at the end of our lives?

Hello,I am new here and would like to hear some advices about the Demi-Ashton syndrom. I am 8,5 years older than my H, we are married for 13 years now, and have 2 children. My H started feeling depressed since summer 2005. I had no idea, until last summer, when we were on the verge to move to HK, he confided in me that our age difference has become an obsession for him, he doesn't look forward to the future, verything is a black hole for him, every morning when he wakes up.But he cannot explain whether the depression is caused by our age diff or he feels that way because of the depr. I was devastated. I cannot remember 1 day for the past few months that I don't wake up without feeling the world has ended.The only good thing is that my H is a good father and a decent man, we talked about his crisis, and he assured me that he will never ever hurt the kids or me, by seeking separation or divorce.But our relationship has changed tremendously, no more physical contact, and by physical, I mean full meaning of it. What he suggested now, is that we cannot let the children know about our prb and keep the family together so that they can grow up feeling safe.I know he is a good man, but what do you think I should do,because for now, I have lost my self confidence, even though I know that I still look ok at the age of 52 (he is 43), nobody would know if we don't tell. I am asian and it helps to be short and thin.I still feel angry and resentful because he didn't chew his words when he tolm me what was bothering him! But in a way, I respect his honesty.I feel paralysed by all these contradictory feelings that I cannot be as affectionate as I used to be toward him anymore, and I hate myself for that, and I don't where it will lead us if we just live like to polite friends after the children go to bed. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel for us?

Thanks, guys, you don't know how good you make me feel.Especially, "he isn't exactly Brad Pitt either, ha ha ha. God, I feel much much better. I gave him until next summer, then I will come after him with that line, " stop being the selfish idiot".His problem is that he doesn't care in case people think I am "old"- if you can call 52 OLD!- the problem is that he knows.He is a good guy, I know so, but yeah, like you said, with issues, nevertheless, he is a responsible husband and father.I still respect him for that, cause I know a few guys that will not hesitate to walk out of a marriage once they feel depressed, MLC.

I highly doubt his depression is caused by your age difference. If that was the case then he wouldn't have been with you from the beginning..because he would have been feeling depressed. Sounds to me like he is having a hard time in his life and can't find an reason so blames it on that. Depression happens for no apparent reason, but can be controled with medication and therapy. I would advise he see the doctor in hopes of making both your lives better. If he has concerns about the age difference then why not sit down with a marriage counsellor? They can act as a mediator and help each of you draw out your feelings and discuss them openly. I don't think that you just have to live with this- there are steps that can be taken to help you two get back on the right path : )

one more thing to remember...the age difference is not likely the real issue...you need to find out what is though!