Posted by
baeirr
16 yrs ago
My BF is 17 years older than me,we ignore minor details in our lives right now but I know we have some problems.
Sometimes I feel him too quiet and lazy, but not energetic or lively as a young man.
He prefer staying at home,watching movie after dinner rather than playing out.
Of course he do sports,but only golf and football.
I am not sure whether we will have any problems in the future,when I am 40, he will be around 60,it sounds awful when I think about it.
Even though we love each other,will age be a problem in our love?
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Thanks, ribbons, my bf and I both prefer peaceful lifestyle, that's how we fell in love,same value,same thinking..I like reading,he likes cooking,I like music,he likes movie,we both like going to the seaside on a holiday,or staying at home watching a romantic movie together,I think that is love.
But is age a different thing?I am 22,he is 39 this year.Seldomly when I have "babyish petulance",he still behaves very calm and quiet.I never doubt his love,but this kind of love seems lack of passion.I wonder whether it is the problem of age.
As dadda said" he is only going to get older"
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F100
16 yrs ago
dear baeirr,
you most likely won't have to wait until you are 40 before you encounter maritial difficulties,
i think the problems will come much sooner rather than later.
he might even feel and act like a young buck....but the simple fact of the matter is.....he's not.
in fact, dating you is most liikely helping him "feel younger."
just because you feel younger, doesn't mean you are younger.
age does make a big difference....don't kid yourself.
besides Demi Moore, i really don't see very many men dating women who are 17 years older than them. They don't seem to think the age difference is any big deal when they date a younger woman but an older woman? many men wouldn't even go there.
there are good points about dating older men. the pros include: maturity, financial stability, opportunities, expensive gifts, power, sense of humour....etc.
however, the cons are: they get grumpy, inflexibility with age, they get tired more easily,
if you have any kids-most likely you/your helper will be doing most of the work.
you should really ask yourself, why are you dating him?
he's old enough to be your father.
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ribbons,actually I am in a dilemma,that's why I post here,my bf and I dont have any problems right now, I only worry about the age difference, and that may be a big trouble in the future.
Will it be different if I am 30,he is 47? At that time I will feel grown up, and he is older.
I know it is stupid to post here,actually I understand clearly age will be a big problem for us. I just cannot give up right now just because of age difference, after all we still love each other.
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dear F100,
thank you, you are kind to tell me this, I also ask myself: why am I dating him?
He even doesnt have the good points of elder men, what he only can give me is love.
At the beginning,I didnt know his age,he doesnt look old. At that time,when we were together,we could talk about everything but didnt get bored.The first time we met, I felt like I had known him for many years.
When we started,he told me his age. I still thought love can solve any problems,we can overcome any difficulties as long as we love each other. But now when we are planning our future, I feel myself worried a lot.
dear F100, I dont know how the situation is at your place, but here I find a lot of people get married without love.Many of my friends just choose a suitable guy to have a matched marriage according to certain status, and give birth to a baby at a suitable age, make all the family people happy, so they are also happy.
Since the result is the same,what's the difference of the man I choose?I am really confused.
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actually i think age is not the big problem,becasue everyone will be old,but the problem is whether u can accept the different minds and life style brings by your age difference ,if u can,evething will be ok,if not ,maybe u should think over,becasue ifu get marriage ,life is not just for love,also including many many other things.
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F100
16 yrs ago
dear flashback,
congratulations to you for looking after yourself so well.
i shouldn't have lumped everyone in the same catergory and there are exceptions such as yourself
(ie..looking at least 10 years younger than your age), however, most people look their age (+- 5 years)...
when I was replying to baeirr, I was assuming that her boyfriend looked his age give or take a few years.
I didn't think he actually looked 17 years younger than he actually was.
there is no easy answer....
marriage is full of pros and cons, no matter what age.
you just hope that there are many more sunny days than rainy ones.
baeirr, good luck....
dig deep....in your heart you will find the answer.
if true love conquers all, that would include the age difference.
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I totally agree with Ribbon it is not the age its the lifestyle. My partner is 15 years older than me.. we've been together for 7 years we don't have any complications on what we want to do. we both love to stay at home. We cook, we watch and when I like to party my partner allow me. I know my limitations anyway. When he wants to go out I let him. We still give some space together.
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thanks,ribbons & F100,
maybe when I have experienced more I will find the answer by myself.
I paid too much attention on him,love is blind,I cannot see many other things in my life.Sometimes I feel myself attached to him too much.That may be the reason I am still worried about the age.Thanks for your advices here,that make me more clear.
beancurd,JVKana,
I am really happy for you when you tell me your own examples.Life is a long journey,I still believe love conquers all. Maybe I still need more time to understand my BF, we need more time to make ourselves adapt to each other,and then let time give me the answer.
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Yes, yes, of course, thats what I meant. I mean, maybe if there was a caps lock for 22 and a wee tiny print for 39, it would be clearer what I was trying to convey :o)
22...hmm...yeah...
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