Need wisdom advises to work on my relationship

Hi, all


First I want to admit I am very sensitive girl who is always seeking for true love.


I am big head on my relationship right now with my ex bf. Our story is kind of different and full of changes all the time.


We were working together for half an year on a construction site being good friends and untill 3 weeks before his departure back to his country we crossed the line and totally fell in love. We had 3 weeks romantic and fantastic dating before his departure.


Sinceafter we started our email and call to keep our love journey, day by day, week by week. four months after we realized our two weeks trip at the end of last year. we were so intimated and in love with each other,while start from the beginning the only thing will turn us down is to talk about the future. We are people from different country, I am in China, he is in France,and under graduated. After keeping our relationship for another 4 months,he broke up with me on the phone. For the mostly reasons are the difficulties in our lifes turn him down, and the fire thread I belived is he and his spanish classmate were attracting each other enought to make him totally give up on our relationship(of course like most the guys he hide this part on me and he told me later). I am not stupid to sense my bf not so in love with me as before, sense must have another girl. So I decided very quickly almost the next day afternoon after he broke up with me- I will totally let him go out of my life, nothing left. We were out of contacting for over 3 weeks, after one night he called me many times, i ignored to answer. One day he wrote me a letter for getting me back to him, he wrote all the feeling about me, the regrets, and the desire to work on our life difficulties together. I didnt let him convince, but I know since that I started to miss him, more and more, and then started our friendship emails.


two months after, i moved to shanghai a new city without any friends or family members. After one month he came to China again for his part-time project and Chinese learning. So we met again in another city of China. After several times friends type hang out, we started our cheating self friends dating, and i felt down into our non offical relationship with him, that means not simply friends or bf & gf as before we were, instead dating and sex partner. Due to facing the fact that he will leave China july next year, we will be apart since after, and I couldnt find a way to go to his country to stay with him except we get married and all the difficulties are our country, culture are totally different, how could we totally fit into each other's nation, family and friends. all these questions scared us and abandoned to keep our relationship. We broke up, back together... over and over. Finally I decide cut of everything contacting with him is the best choice to let him go and move on with my life to avoide suffering and huring my heart times times.

Last Wednesday night I went to a bar with my friends,I saw him kissing wildly with a girl after long time I cut off the line from him, and he has been calling me all the time. I was stonished, and get very upset to send him a letter the next day to piss him off. While after he send back his letter to say how much feel about me and hurting all the time when I suddenly walked off, I break down again all these days preparation, i thought I have got over, insisting be tough on myself to forget him, I even pray to God almost everyday to give me the faith to erase him off from my mind totally and never something happen again between me and him to avoid getting hurt. But I changed my mind now, I felt so weak just want to being together with him again, even he could love me enough to give me any promise and guarantee, all my is thinking about him all the time even during my dreams. How could be so in love with him, and couldnt move on. I know all the time i was stupid and just love him so much, he understand me and fit for me perfectly.


Anybody, could you give me some widsom advise to help me work on such torturing relationship.

why don't you change a new tel no?

rflt: Please, please let him go. It's over. I know it hurts. But it's over. He's too weak or too selfish to let you go, so you have to be the strong one.


That's the first step.

He is using you and feeding you enough crumbs to make you stay with him as a sex buddy or whatever.Unload this guy he doesn't understand you just cares about himself or he wouldn't treat you this way.Don't let the sexual aspect get in the way...love is not lust and never will be.

Agree with momo on this one... you gotta get rid of him.

walk away, forget him, he is greedy and wants all.


No matter how you feel, if he aint reciprocating and doing worse, tenit is doomed - don't waste your precious time.

Well to put it bluntly he's treating you no better than a paid prostitute except there's no money involved and he won't acknowledge your relationship...and if he's kissing and hitting on other women be very careful and get checked out.

Please be strong and true to yourself and don't lose your dignity and self respect.Don't be lead into this meaningless roller coaster get off and find a new life.He is going in July so he wants to play not stay.This is NOT love he is using you for his own gratification.Rather sick on his part.

I like the last idea especially. Learn and grow... like the first time you learn how to ski,fall down and fall down, quit, no,its a fun sport, keep doing, grasp the skills, even you could not aviod to fall down, finally you may get it...

I think the sooner you leave and forget him,the lesser you will feel pain..

I totally agree with chat_noir..Give time to time..