unhappy

I had been married for 15mths and we had a beautiful 7mths old daughter. We been together for almost 6yrs before tying the knot. But we didnt really discuss about marriage b4. After our bb born, we start to have endless arguments over many things. We did not have so much argument before. When asked wat can i do to improve our marriage life, he just keep saying 'if you do not make silly mistakes, all will be fine'.


Under him, i feel SMALL and USELESS. I find i am constantly under stress, day time at work got to be alert at nite when at home got to be alert for him as fear to make mistakes. He keep saying i am so immature as i always make silly mistakes like being untidy/forgetting to bring tissue along when we are out/didnt answer his call when he called my hp and etc. When i am saying out my trouble, he simply give sugesstion and then he will comment that I am being so dependant on him, so useless! If i am more independant he wont need to give me advise!


Where has go wrong? Am i really so useless/silly/immature? Both of us are 28 this yr.


Lucky now my bb is under my mum's care so I tried to make him happy before my bb come back on weekend, so we will not quarrel infront of my bb.

Since you have been together for almost 6 yrs,he should have already known some of your "silly mistakes",I dont think you are useless, but he should be tolerant.


Try to take it easy,dont give yourself too much pressure and talk to him calmly.Love is mutual, if you are perfect and never made any"silly mistakes", that is not life.


He should get ready to be a husband and father, but not blame you when he cannot face his new role.

Thank you for your reply! Yes, no one is Perfect. :)


Maybe everything just happen too fast for him. Sometime i just cant understand since he is so mature so y he is so slow in adjusting?


I am feeling much better now. Maybe i am too emotional i cant tolerate argument at home, i wish to go back home happily everyday at least for a few weeks.

I think you need to sit him down and ask him what the problem is, why has he changed? why is he suddenly picking fault with everything you do? that all the changes are scary for you too and you need his love and support not to made to feel useless and worthless.

I think that's because you just had a bb makes you tress, and emotinal, just relax he will come around, like moppet said, sit down and talk and try not to force him so much as men usually very slow when it comes to bb responsiblity, men can be very mature to other things except for kids i don't know why.

I think you got the habit of complaining, try to be cheerful and avoid negative attitude, it seems he does not enjoy your company, stop nagging and be happy


(I am based in India)

Hey syedasifali - how do you know qwerty-qwerty has negative attitude and nagging habit?


qwerty-qwerty - Yes agreed he's too slow to adjust. He doesn't handle stress as well as you. His work may stress him out and he doesn't know who takes on. Unluckily you're always there.


2 suggestions for you:


Option a - follow Moppet's suggestion. sit him down and ask what his problem is.


Option b - Ignore him. Let him say whatever he wants and don't argue back. It's hard, yes I know but it will be better for you. Imagine you shout at someone and that person just walks away from you. Will you continue doing that? no of coursre. Go out with your friends, do something that makes you happy. Play with your baby, take her out with you as well. Trust me when you look at your baby, nothing else can be so important to you.