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I don't know, I would like to know the Ans.
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1. of coz he has to find his right one
2. financially stable
3. willing to scarifice the whole forest for a single tree
any others?
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probably num# 3 the willingness to be with the person to the rest of their life. As i knew a men who is financially stable, been with the woman for 8yrs, so she could be the right one right?, but instead broke up and merried with some one he knew for a year only.
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when he reaches his comfort level - meaning he feel comfortable when that person is around. he's happy with his career, financial...etc
Else he made that person's pregnant (either trap or love).
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I would only marry if I wanted to have children. Other than that, I rather have the forrest.
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I think we just left out a very important part of this topic: Traditions (also miscalled "culture"). In China, they feed them this whole "get married and have a kid so the kid will take care of you when you are old" and "the kid is the joy of the family" and all that, just like they fed the very same thing to westeners years ago. Just watch "sex and the city" to see marriage as a "destination".
Is only when you question tradition, when you truly start a self-quest looking for what is really best for you, that you start considering other opinions. However, for some people is very hard to break from tradition because they are simply afraid that something bad will happen to them.
The question is, therefore, not what makes a man want to be married, but whether a man is "husband material".
I have also found something very interesting in my generation of male. I seldom (notice the use of the word "seldom" as oppose to "never") see a well educated, high income man (remember I am using the word "seldom") getting married. I myself wanted to get marry when I was in my 20s, but as time passed I realized I didn't want to give up "the forrest".
Ribbons mentioned creating a future for both of you, and adding value to yourself through having someone else. As a single, financially secure person, I can build my own comfortable future. I don't need someone else to get a house loan, or to travel, or to enjoy life to the fullest. I am very comfortable in my own company, and I have people around me whenever I please. I have family and friends who love me as I love them, I have relationships too, here and there, so marriage does not make any sense to me...unless I want a child...
...and I don't want a little piece of me going around, I have brothers and sisters to keep my DNA going...I don't have that kind of ego.
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FKKC
16 yrs ago
When he is thinking of her day & night and so in love that he wants to see, protect and care for her in ways not even he can understand.
After marriage - especially around the 7-year's itch, that's another matter!!!
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If you know the 7 year itch will come, why marry at all?
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FKKC
16 yrs ago
7 year itch doesn't confine only to men - women can feel the itch too but as flashback said "you don't HAVE to scratch it", and if both parties can honour the marriage vows and have deep moral standards, temptations will go away and eventually disappear...........and they live happily ever after.
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Why should you? I mean, I just don't understand why, on top of all teh commitments men and women have to do (commitment to go to school, go to work every day, etc) we have to commit to someone else. And now you tell me that even though after 7 years (or x period of time) I have to, instead of doing what I want, doing what I am "supposed to do"? Sorry, me not boogie.
I have never got married, and I never will. I rather be honest with myself and scratch my itches as they come to me.
...but that's just me.
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Just come across with this question in my mind lately...It keeps bothering me for months and finally I asked my boyfriend last night. We've been together for one and a half years. We both love eachother, seldom fight and he is a perfect man (I think, at least for me he is perfect to be a husband). We've met both families and all the friends around are getting marry...(we both in our 30s)
I asked him if he has any planning or ever think about our future, he said of course he wants to be together but he is not satisfied with his current job and want to look for a better one bla bla bla... I said to him career and love are two different things why he sounds like our relationship cannot move forward is because he hasn't find a good career path yet.... He totally understood what I want (a ring on the finger) But he said he can't promise anything now. And he suggested that we need a break. So it is.. What category of this case then?
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He clearly doesn´t want to be married. Like you said, career and love life are different.
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I want to know why Ladybugbugbug asked the question in the first place, and why she (presumably she) is now conspicuously absent from the discussion?
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Hi, there, I was out of town and not able to check the discussion.
So in the first place, as a female, I always look for long term relationship and hope to get married one day. Perhaps i am influenced by the chinese culture that getting married, giving births are the processes that ppl will go thru in their lives. I will consider to get married if i think the person would be a good companion in the rest of my life, the one who is trust-worthy. So i was just wondering about men's thoughts.
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i told you what i figure out. every man is actually a BOY in his deep mind & he would choose his the other part- Ms right to marry who is maybe halfway reflection of his mom.
would like to hear different opinions but not "s" or "f" words.
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Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
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Answer to ur Q.
Cos the man loves the woman and juz wanna spend the rest of his life with her.
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I am a bit cynical....if i look at the male friends who got married, they fall into three categories.
The first type, the party animals, played the field for many many years, and when they reached the age of 40/45 they realised they could no longer pull all the girls they wanted, because they were losing their good looks, and also clubbing all night became hard work for them, a bit of a chore. They longed for some stability in their lives, and invariably married plain-looking but very solid, emotionally strong and down to earth women, wife-material, nothing like the sex goddesses they used to hang out with before. The problem is that once they got married and had the stability they wanted (interestingly their wives are very wealthy) they haven't completely lost the urge to fool around. They occasionally cheat on their wives when they travel and are sure not to get caught.
The second type never had much luck with girls, mainly due to their lack of confidence, shyness, or other personal or sexual issues. Once they met someone they liked who liked them, and was ready to settle down, they were eager to do the same, and very grateful they finally had a companion. They felt like they won the lottery! They are still happily married...though i still wonder what their wives saw in them, besides their willingness to settle down.
The third type is the typical good catch, confident, financially stable, good-looking...at some point they met a girl who told them she was on birth control but actually planned to get pregnant and see if they would marry her. The trick worked and these men ended up married to someone they hadn't considered marrying before the 'accidental' pregnancy. Some of these men have a mistress, but their wives turn a blind eye. I guess they are happy with the package and just want to be mums and tai tais. Not a marriage made in heaven, just an arrangement that both parties are happy with.. The man can play dad, and the woman can play mum. Some of these arrangements last, some don't.
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