I am a local girl and have met a few guys from this website...one almost worked out but still didn’t as he said the chemistry level is not up to the level of having a long term relationship. It did hurt me a lot as I was very involved and we did share a lot in common. I have no appetite to eat and can’t sleep well when he decided to stop seeing me. However, I still have to let it go as a relationship means two parties’ work.
I believe that finding a new guy is the best way of forgetting the old one. Therefore, I met a few more guys here. Seemed to have good start for they all said that I am a good and pretty girl. But maybe a bit boring as I can’t drink and I am not into parties. I am just into outdoor activities and going to cinemas. The problem is, these guys didn’t contact me any further after the second date though I thought we had good times together. Their last sentence was always “I will call you” but they just never call back. Frankly speaking, I am quite shy and I don’t dress in a sexy way…my male friend said that it’s the problem as guys all like sexy girls and he said that I should dress in a way to show my good figure instead of dressing so decently. Is that true? or in fact those guys just think that I am too down-to-earth and don’t know how to enjoy life? I am not a materialistic girl… I enjoy spending too but just not a big fan of fine dining or famous labels. Do they consider this as boring? Is there anything wrong that my dates can’t work out?
Please support our advertisers:
Is it?
But the strange thing is that they all said that I am pretty (maybe just pretty but not sexy?)…they requested for meeting up very soon when they have seen my photo. Planning for the second date right after the first date but just after the second date…it stopped. I don’t understand why…
Please support our advertisers:
Rather than trying to adjust to your male dates' tastes at the expense of respecting your true personality (which sounds nice to me), I think you should want to change the way or type of people you meet, so as to adjust THEM to who you truly are.
They might be looking for the type of girls you describe (or not, but as an example), which you aren't, so it's best they've moved on, it means they weren't designed to suit you.
Maybe you should try to meet people through the outdoor activites that you enjoy doing?
Please support our advertisers:
They sound to me like they were pretty shallow in the first place if they were just desperate to meet up with you from seeing a photo.
No regrets, I'd say.
And why not taking your time, to get over the first man and just meet people more naturally? It would sound more like you!
Please support our advertisers:
I am not sure if I should say that they are shallow…because they didn’t really tell me why. That is just the analysis/ conclusion of my friend…from the perspective of a westernized guy. Maybe they have found some of my shortcomings that I’ve never noticed?
It will be not easy for me to know new male friends in my work and I am into outdoor activities but just go hiking with female friends…all my social networks are surrounded with females. So I don’t want to be just sitting there and waiting. I tried to take the initiative.
Yes I can still live in a happy life as a single but sometimes I really want to look for a partner to share my happy moments in life. It is just not easy though.
Please support our advertisers:
nothing wrong with you, hun...most of the expats are like this in hk..they dont want a serious relationship..just fun fun fun..even i dont want a serious relationship as i'm planning to fly away from hk soon!
Please support our advertisers:
I agree that I should not really change my appearance to attract guys…anyhow I am not too conservative in dressing now and will for sure feel unnatural if I have to dress in hot clothes.
Yup, I still miss the first guy from time to time but I know I should really let go. Crying or feeling upset wouldn’t help. Guess he has already started a good life again here in HK.
Internet dating = quick sex? Is it? that’s for sure not what I am looking for. Book Club? Please forgive me being ignorant…what do you mean by book club?
I am not young but just being inexperienced in mating game. Had a very long-term relationship with my high school boyfriend and then three short term relationships afterwards. Didn’t work out because we didn’t get along happily…but we are still friends. I am really looking for a serious relationship but just don’t know where to look to.
Please support our advertisers:
you expected too much i would say and finding new guy for getting over ain't a smart way
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks a lot for your comments and advices. Much appreciated. Thank you.
Yup, I understand what you mean. I will try to explore some more traditional/ decent (?) way of meeting serious guys. But still, it’s nothing easy.
My friend recommended this website to me about a year ago because she has heard of some good and successful stories. Guess there are some good guys here but I just didn’t have the chance to meet them yet.
I agree that I am looking forward to meeting a good guy for serious relationship as I do want to spend some time with him, get to know each other, plan for our future and then to establish our own family if he is willing to settle down. The whole thing may take a few years time and I will really be quite mature in age by then. Having said that, I will still be insisting on finding the one that I really enjoy being with. Will not be rush in getting anyone.
Ha, you know the nick? It doesnt mean anything special. I have been using this for many years.
Please support our advertisers:
how to define its a cheap dates or not?
Please support our advertisers:
Thank you very much for all your advices.
I will be careful and try to gain more street-smarts in future to protect myself better. I admit that I am sometimes too simple and will treat people as friends too easily. I still miss the first guy and I feel being hurt…though I know that his excuse is just an excuse.
No worries, I will not have easy sex with anyone :)
Yes, I listen to all your advice and dress comfortably and pretty today. The right and good one will come when he is about the time to come.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks HowRu for your reminder. Guess I will stop seeing them as many guys from this website are not trustworthy. I have met the chemistry guy accidentally again and it happened to make me realize that he is just another dishonest and self-centered guy who pretended to be sincere and caring…
Please support our advertisers:
I don't know about easy sex being a bad thing - is slept with my husband on our second date and we've been married six years already....
Please support our advertisers:
Hey Moominvalley,
The key to happiness in life is to be yourself and never change yourself for someone. I think we have a lot in common in terms of interest and personality. Am not into partying and i cant drink too. I broke up with my ex few months ago, been trying to forget him, and thanks to all the advices on this forums , coz they really help me to get on with life. So,never forget who you are, just be yourself. cheers.
Please support our advertisers:
I'm reading into the posts a lot of "How can you tell or guarantee he is the 'right' one?" and "How can I find the 'right' one?" and "How can I secure the 'right' one?"
I'd encourage you to back up. Dating and relationships are two very separate things. I subscribe to the theory that dating is dating unless you have established the other is of good character and he two of you have had a discussion about exclusivity. I find this keeps one from being a human petri dish among other things.
I've met people online. I've met people speed dating. I've met people in bars. I've met people in traditional settings (book clubs, athletic/outdoor groups, etc.). Some dates I have met online have been far more fun than those I met in book clubs. I've had a lot of dates and frankly can't remember most of their names. Every time I leave for a date, I say to myself, "This is gonna be a good night. At the very least, we'll have some good conversation/I'll see a good show/whatever. Worst case scenario... he smells like a sewer or has the personality of celery. If that is the case, the evening will make a great personal diary entry and I'll laugh about it in the future. My only goal is to have a fun night and be interesting enough that the evening is enjoyable for him too since he has taken the time and trouble to ask me out."
Have fun on dates. Pick your relationships carefully. There are some really great guys in Hong Kong. Cast a wide net. Have some fun until one clicks.
Please support our advertisers:
blissful82, fingers crossed! i believe that we can find a good and suitable one soon. i agree that it's sometimes easy to give up but just difficult to forget. however, we must do it and be brave enough to face the new future. hopes are there.
travelinteacher, haha, your message has inspired me a lot. sure, i will try and have fun on dates.
Please support our advertisers:
My favorite Yoda quote: Do or do not... there is no try.
DO have fun on dates - that is your only goal until the exclusivity conversation.
Please support our advertisers:
Meems
18 yrs ago
Believe in fate...... be happy and single now.
Please support our advertisers:
Goloh
18 yrs ago
Putting it another way, the moment you stop actively "looking," you might get just what you want. I'd like to say it's like job hunting, but with that you really have to keep at it!
Please support our advertisers:
Goloh, haha, I like your metaphor of job hunting. Very true. That’s exactly just the case how I got my current job. No expectation in the beginning.
I have reviewed myself after reading SS’s post and believe that I didn’t get excited to just being invited out by anyone.
But yes, as many of you have said and advised, I will keep the faith and just enjoy the dates. Thanks!
Please support our advertisers:
You go, stauntonstreet.
Moomin, if you're as nice as you sound, you don't have to set yourself up to be 'chosen' by these guys. Go ahead, choose them! Go out with them and decide whether YOU like THEM, rather than desperately hoping that they'll like you.
Please support our advertisers:
You go, stauntonstreet.
Moomin, if you're as nice as you sound, you don't have to set yourself up to be 'chosen' by these guys. Go ahead, choose them! Go out with them and decide whether YOU like THEM, rather than desperately hoping that they'll like you.
Please support our advertisers:
Cool thread, SS. Well, Understood MMV, old phrase....it takes an hour or few days to fall for someone but months or years to forget. But life has to go on :)
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail