the bar

...and by that i mean "the standard."


i am a 30 year old, never-been-married, american woman who has lived in hong kong almost my entire life. i am a christian who goes to church nearly every sunday. i choose to only date christian men because, well, that's what i am looking for. i am frustrated because 1)even at church it is hard for me to find any guys who are looking for or are attracted to average sized (and, believe me, by american standards, i'm small) western women (i have been told i am quite attractive and have a wonderful personality, so if it IS my lack of a petite frame that is an issue, i guess i'm sh*t out of luck...) and 2)my non-christian friends and coworkers give me a hard time because of my dating "requirements." listen, i have plenty of good friends who are not christians, i enjoy going out and dancing up a storm (without the getting completely plastered part) at lan kwai fong and i tend to be moderate in my political views. all that to say i'm not the stereotypical "tv evangelist christian" many people assume christians to be. here's the deal though, when it comes to looking for a person with whom i would like to share my life, i'm looking for someone who shares my christian beliefs and values system. i get SUCH a hard time from my colleagues who say my standards are much too high and that i need to lower them if i am to have any chance of making a romantic connection. i refuse to do that and am trying not to give up hope that connecting with a man who meets my bar (and i, his, of course)is not a fruitless cause.


so here is the question: besides church (which has offered no possibilities for a match on both sides) how do i meet viable christian options here?

I teach in a christian school and most of my female co-workers complain of the same problem.


You might want to try the personals as well. Stranger things have happened....

LOL. aijin...HI-larious!


tia: thanks. it's good to know i'm not alone!


justincred... thanks for showing both sides. :] i appreciate all the feedback. keep 'em coming!

I could help. I know a lot of practising catholics and christians. I may be able to arrange something for you.

everyone...wow. i wasn't expecting such understanding resposes to be honest. at least i know, whether christian or not, people on this site (and in general, for that matter) are pretty understanding when it comes to the standards people set for dating potentials. thanks! champion, hook a girl up if you really know people! my email is yrofdragon_1976@hotmail.com. thanks for the support fellow expats!

I am not into any religious..But i am still single..haha that is not a bad thing.

Maybe the fact is that you're scaring away potential partners not because of your religion but because of your politics?


I hope my comment is not out of line, and I don't mean any offense, but...


In my opinion, as well as that of many others, many Americans don't understand what "politically moderate" means.


I don't know whether you support Bush, but from your handle and the fact that you're an American Christian, I suspect you might.


I strongly believe that one cannot possibly be a supporter of Bush and the war in Iraq if they are A) truly Christian or B) politically moderate. Bush is very VERY far right wing. In fact Clinton is right wing, by international standards.


There is no real "left" in the United States, except perhaps for the Libertarians (who I think are nutty). There are mostly people who are far right (Bush supporters) and moderate (Supporters of someone like Gore, Kerry, Clinton, McCain, etc.) I am a moderate.


The fact is, as a huge supporter of the teacher Jesus Christ (as opposed to the "God" Jesus Christ), I also consider myself, in philosophical terms, to be a Christian (though in theological terms I'm definitely an atheist). However, I would never date anyone who can support Bush's policies, as I think Bush's policies are not only "un-Christian" but inhuman.


So perhaps it is true that your standards are making things difficult for you. However, perhaps it's not your religious standards you need to look into.

hm... seems there was a lot of reading into there solely based on my handle. yes, i am an american. and, sadly, there are many times i am NOT proud to be one. no, i do not support the war in iraq and yes, i have been embarrassed by the president of my country more times than not. (my handle is very much tongue in cheek as one of my colleagues refers to me as that). my politics are moderate...in fact, generally, i don't care or talk about politics. however, tpm, your extended explanation as to why i'm not getting dates based on my assumed political standings were eye-opening to say the least. they did, if for nothing else, show me how many others view me without getting to know me. i didn't take offense, i just thought it a bit odd. thanks, though.

:D Sorry for being kind of an ass. I'm American too, but I'm very politically minded, so I'm super sensitive to these things.


Anyway, if you're really looking for a practising Christian man who is as serious about it as you, I'm afraid the only places you'll really find such a guy in HK would be church. Alternatively, since you said you haven't had any luck in church so far, you should seriously try an online service. Yeah, there are freaks out there, but fine tune your intuition and always be very careful, and you'll find it's quite possible to meet great guys online who just might not be the type you'd meet otherwise.


Also, meeting someone online lets them get to know the real you intellectually before they can judge you on your "Americanness" or your "average sizedness".


Good luck, I truly hope you can find a good guy, and I don't think it's impossible.

you've made up for assumptions, my friend, fellow (sheepish?) american, and apparently monetarily challenged, tpm. it's all good. i really figured you weren't trying to be an ass, i just figured you are passionate about your beliefs...which can never be a bad thing, and got a little carried away. right? thanks for the encouragement! i think i may have to take the online route. :] maybe this one...maybe another one. stranger things have happened.