long distance affair

do you guys think this will work?? i've just moved here in hkg 6 months ago and got a great job/package. am a single mom and left my kids with my parents back home. my bf is from india and has visited me here twice. obviously he has to leave coz of visa problems. he tried finding a job here and got lucky, the company said they will start working on getting his work permit. unfortunately when he came back to his country, his mom got sick and now he cant leave her anymore as he has to look after the old sickly mom. i'm getting desperate that this is not gonna work as i am not good when i comes to keeping long distance love affair. i have no friends here, i just sulk at home and find friends on the internet, but never met any decent one.

a good advise would probably make me feel better.... thanks!

does your bf have any long term plans? or he has decided to stay put in india until his mom passed on years later which no one could tell? if so, you have every right to be selfish. but instead of ending it abruptly, how about cooling it off for a while while you try dating other people?

great advice from Show_N_Tell. also, come on over to the Women's Only forums and check the and threads for advice as well. :-)

hi!good day!no harm in trying long distance affair for the time being that ur bf is away from you.thats one way of sorting out how u feel for him and he to you.give time for it and then communication is important too.keep on comunicating with him to go on with the relationship and then when u feel it didnt work out thats the time u have a final say its not working for you.thats all i can share ,rrb guangzhou,china

thanks for the above tuttifrutti.. i am really having a tough time here. in fact i just had a fight with my boyfriend this afternoon (we do fight even when chatting!) i was telling him how bad i was feeling, missing my kids back home, feeling miserable not having anyone to talk to. instead of comforting me, he simply said "you have to go back and be with your kids". it's not as simple as going back home. i need this job and going back home, maybe get another job, is not enough to support my kids. am trying to be practical here and all he can say is that i care more about money than my kids! i felt so bad that i had to throw it back to him. he cant even decide whether to stay there be with his mom until when, heaven knows, or find a job here so he can stay with me. we do try to set time when to come online so we can talk, and we call each other as often as we can. how long we can keep it this way, i dont know...


not sure if it's just me, but i really have no friends here. the people at work seem to be so cold, most of the chinese that is. in fact the only ones who talk to me are the male British managers/directors. maybe it's language barrier, but even if i try to talk to them, they simply have their own world and wouldnt let me in. so how do i meet people?? i'm scared of going out alone on bars, even if i just want to have a drink. i tried meeting friends here on the net who are also here in hkg, met one but wanted more than just give me company, ughhhh..!

i guess my thread has now changed from problem of LDR, to being away from kids, to not having friends here in hkg. what can i do??? i really feel so bad...

Hi menthos, Sometimes when we just want some reassurance from our men, they think they have to offer a solution to fix the problem, rather than just listen & letting us get stuff off our chests.

Sounds like the argument was him projecting a little bit of his own concerns etc about leaving you to be with his mother...suggesting you shld leave HK to be with yr kids.


after 6 months the novelty will have worn off (am a 6 monther myself) & i understand you will be feeling very isolated.

I do have one question..its harsh & apologise first, but is his Mum really ill...is she putting the squeeze on him a little bit?

I just got a course list in the post from the YWCA of new summer courses..maybe have a look & see if any appeal, & get to know ppl here that way too.

You deserve a happy life, you sound like a very hard working person, who just wants to do the right thing.

Good luck !

thanks kiwozzie, but i actually spoke to his mom when she was in the hospital and was truly sick. now, i know they can always make up these stories so he wont leave her mom, but that's another issue i choose not to think about.

yah, i guess i really work hard, some of us have to, especially if you cant rely on anyone to support u and your kids. i'll check out YMCA and see if anything interests me, hopefully i can start having friends from there. flying out back home tomorrow for a holiday with my kids at boracay island.. Happy Easter to all!!