manicair, so sorry to hear about this.
next time, unless the guy says, very clearly and in no uncertain terms, "YES i want to spend [insert event here] with YOU at [place] at [time]"...then it is NOT a date.
best and clearest situation: HE is making the plans, and inviting YOU, or he is making the plans WITH YOU. doesn't matter how long or short he has been in hong kong.
also, if i read your posting right: you sms'd him monday night regarding NYE plans, but he only emailed you back yesterday? if he didn't get back to you immediately after your monday invitation with a resounding "YES, thanks, looking forward to it, meet you then etc etc"...sorry. he was being ambivalent and non-committal, and you should have seen the red flag.
you should still do what you have been trying to do, which is getting to know someone first before getting romantically entangled. but stop relying on friends' "information" (i.e. your friend saying he is single - yes, technically he IS single - he is not married! but it turns out he has a girlfriend...). the best research you can do is with your own eyes and ears and heart. if you were really clearly observing him, without projecting your hopes and expectations on him, you would have sussed him out sooner, i.e. "also thought that he would want to meet other ppl in HK as he's only been here for 3months" - why? did he say those very words? or you just assumed it?
anyway - again, i am sorry this happened to you. you went out of your way to make nice plans for a guy who turned out to have a gf. at least you still have your great NYE plans with your friends.
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It could be frustrating to have met someone you like but he has been taken. Quite often, a relationship is about the right time at the right place, you two are simply not meant to be, why not turn it into a good friendship, tell him you enjoy his company that you like to stay friends with him and you guys could hang out and nothing further will develop. Once you make this clear, he should be comfortable with the whole deal. Sometime a friend for life is worth much more.
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Agree with some of the opinions above but the guy should have ben upfront from the beginning about the g/f.
Never mind, there are plenty more fellas out there. You may even meet one on New Years Eve.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
It's just a change of mind on the part of this guy (perhaps, after thinking things through). I really don't believe there is any GF. In short, he is not courageous enough and, I think, he doesn't deserve you, Manicair. Let him go for such is the beauty and complexities of this world of ours. As Vulvic said, you may even catch someone on NYE ... :D.
Don't let this one put you off. Remember, a set-back is only a set-up for a great come-back. I'll say 'Open your eyes; there are so much good stuff out there'.
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It is quite common that you meet people like this. Unfortunately. But hey...leave and let live. There is always someone better out there.
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Oh Manicair, quite true really esp in Hong Kong because I heard stories like yours way too many times, and sadly I also happened to have similar experience, what a pain in the neck!
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Come on Manicair! Don't worry about this. Be strong and move on. Like the others are saying, you're definitely not alone; i.e., these things are bound to happen. You just have to know how to deal with them.
Be encouraged and go for the gold out there. If you don't encourage yourself, no one can/will.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Manicair >> Go gal ... :-). Cheers!!!!
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shaq
19 yrs ago
What a connection ......... Good for you, Manicair. U're on course with the 'moving on' thing... Hahahaaaa!!
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Shizz >> I think Manicair meant Soho. Did I guess right? Good steps, Shizz........ :-).
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Manicair, you sound like you'll have no problem meeting 'potentials' on New Years Eve. Don't let this incident get you down. If you feel like a victim, you will be treated like one. Sadly that is why a lot of people end up repeating the same relationship mistakes.
You sound much stronger than that. Happy New Year.
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Sg Ed
19 yrs ago
No...they were deleted. If you want to talk about Oasia Concert and Britney Spears etc then you should do so in another thread on that topic.
Thanks..
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Ed - you're very grumpy today.
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Maybe Ed is peeved cos he didn't get any good pressies for Christmas. Or he's run out of Molson.
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Its all fine now, i guess. She is healed by her own nursing power. Peace on earth
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She can have you Shizz, you're far too fickle for me. Lol.
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Hoyo - you are a filhty minded little man, lol!
Nutella is alright but I prefer Marmite.
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I don't know if you're ready for my mate Marmite, Hoyo.
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Eeeeugh!!!!! Filthy, little man Hoyo. I imagine you as a short, balding, bespectacled accountant who spends his weekends playing golf and visiting Club BBoss.
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Manicair - sorry, we got carried away with the matchmaking and you are now Shizz's bird.
Hoyo - I was just messing with you but you sometimes take things too seriously. However, I do find that people who bang on (excuse the pun) about their sex lives often aren't getting any. Would you say this was true of you?
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Hey..its French maid here...you cant get marmite in French...how about milk bath? ahahaha
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You can't have flu in the run up to NYE! Go and put your feet up with a cup of Hot Lemon.
Bear - Vegemite, you are sooooo Aussie! Personally they are both the same animal as far as I'm concerned. Definitely good comfort food.
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Freshjive - ???? What???? Milk Bath???
Manicair - I can sympathise, I had a similar experience with mustard. Had only ever had the (weak as cat's pee) American variety until I went to UK - imagine my horror when I got a lung full of Colemans! Made me weep it did.
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As said earlier, you cant get marmite in France..with all the spread going around, how bout milk, ya? Cant offer cavier. It is too expensive...
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Freshjive - too my knowledge you cannot spread milk without things getting rather damp. Is there some strange French milk that I don't know about????
Manicair - Sexy phone voice - good. Red, runny nose - bad. Go straight to bed with your Lemsip!!!
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Not sure of any strange French milk. That's why I offer milk bath..
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Personally I like my bed sans guest, gives me more room to stretch out.
Freshjive - again, you make no sense. Milk bath...........for spreading...........is there something I am missing???
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Not for spreading la...milk bath for soaking after the spread and all...
Anyway, the French maid has skipped all these and went to bed
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Oooohhhh...........I seeeeeee....understood.
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Methinks thou dost protest too much......
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haven't got banned. finished work early today and went for my hot yoga. um... so we can't talk about rock festival or oasis, alrighty, i'll set up another thread on speaker's corner then....
Ed, pls let me know if speaker's corner is acceptable .. thx
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