Posted by
iwantfun
19 yrs ago
I didn't expect that such kind of thing ever occured to me. But it just happened...
He's kinda cute but the bad thing is that he's attached. We hang out several times. And we both have the feel. But neither of us can tell whether its an urge or love.
It came across to my mind that just keep him as a shaggy buddy. But I wouldnt have been upset if we were not in the same office. We now meet every day and we have to pretend cool in front of others.
Shall I step back? Like to hear your voices.
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This may sound harsh but I think you already know the answer to this one. 'WRONG WAY - GO BACK" This man is NOT AVAILABLE. He is attached. Dont set yourself up for disapointment when you become emotionally involved and he cant return the same if he is with someone else.
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Ms Iwantfun - I believe that you don't feel guilty at all except for the fact that he's your colleague.
Obviously this will be an on-going fling, but he's oh-so cute, so congrats for opening a new door into your sex life.
P.S. You knew when you started this thread that there is no back off once started, unless you are prude enough to resist him.
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Office affairs so often result in the woman losing out in the end - often out the door.
Regardless of how 'cool' you think you are, there is always 'something in the air' that others detect.
Take the advice of others, if not me, get your satisfaction elsewhere.
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Diagree with Lauren. From a practical standpoint, it's NEVER to your advantage. First of all, as said before, you may not think anyone knows but the reality is just about EVERONE knows. They just chose to pretend not to know.
Which means the suprerior is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Do you give special favors? Then have everyone in the office be jealous/resentful, which they have every right to be since you would be in the wrong for giving/getting special treatment.
Should you make them work harder, making your partner resent you.
The only way for it to work is for the one lower in the rank to expect to eat some sht and accepting that it's the price of a relationship.
I know, been there. Knew it was a bad idea from the beginning and stayed away from each other for over a year even though we were both single and the attraction was there for both of us. I was the boss and my gf accepted taking some sht (most of the time at least), and even then, then there were still some resentment. Never told anyone, even denied it but yes, everyone knew.
Stating it again, it is always a lose/lose situation. Of course I'm just addressing the work issue. The ethical/emotional part, is personal so it's really up to you.
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Iwantfun,
You're courting danger here. Best to find someone unattached..What goes around, comes around.
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Like to point something out to you all. THERE IS A THIRD PARTY INVOLVED IN THIS. WHAT ABOUT THE POOR WOMAN AT HOME WHO married/going with this man. I am a bloke and I am no angel, but as a rule I NEVER DATE WOMAN WHO ARE INVOLVED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE. Perhaps if you want a shag so much go and buy a vibrator. Oh and remeber what comes around goes around so before you nip into the stationary cupboard for a quickie. Someday it might be your loved one that is being seduced by some selfish office tart.
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Ah one more thing,(I apologise, but this hit a nerve with me)I am new to this website and I have spilt my guts like everyone else on this site. But one thing I have noticed is the amount of woman on this site spilling their guts because their boyfriend has left them or is F/?*%ing about. Well it is a known fact that 95% of men think with there "John Thomas". So if all the ladies out there didn't put it on a silver platter for the men and had some mutual rules of staying away from each others partners. GUESS WHAT??? There probably wouldn't be so many woman with broken hearts. I am not saying I am perfect, but I like to think that I am aware of the consequences to others around me for my actions and think "Would I like that done to me??"
Sorry but you did ask for opinions. It's up to you whether you take it on board, SO PLEASE don't give me grief for voicing my opinion. You did ask!
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Hi Nemesis, thank you, I thought my note may of been viewed as a bit strong. But I have seen too much pain over people not stopping and thinking first.
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lulu
19 yrs ago
well everyone will say "No", but will they listen?
not bother to feedback anymore...
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Weelee (is that Mexican for Willy?)
I think we are all in agreement here - don't sleep with the office tart. It'll end in tears at the office Christmas party.
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DakLak> You are right. He told me he heard the rumors about us from his coworkers. Wish it is just rumor...
Nemesis> Your comment is harsh. Well, it seems work one me.
I've been thinking about it these days.I told this to my friend, 9 out of 10 say No, they cant accept he's my coworker, and he's attached. They can't see the future on me and him. Yes, they are right, and i couldnt agree more with them. But what if we just keep it a fling and dont go further, like people said I might want more and more. How does that sound?
I am just assuming ,and it doesnt mean i am doing that.( Actually, we seem calm down )
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lulu
19 yrs ago
blah. no advice, if you like to play, do it! Sgag buddy, sex partners whatever! If you know you will get burnt, hurt somehow...dun do it then! You know yourself better than anyone around, right?
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There are some very different views regarding this matter. It would be interesting to find out the origin and age catagory of those for and against, eg Asian 20-30, westerner 20-30 etc.
I have noticed during my short stay here in HK that s*x here is like what I heard it was like in the 60's- "free and easy". I can understand the thrill of these wild sexual casual encounters, as I said, I am no angel. But at the cost of risking hurt and pain to a third party, mmmm? I don't want that bag of guilt on my shoulders. So Aijin and Iwantfun, knock yourself out, have fun, but beware it will be a can of worms your opening. As for the religion remark?? I don't think it matters; good is good, bad is bad. All one has to think is " would I like that done to me?" Anyway hands up for s*x where it is " wham Bam thankyou mam" and hands up for a sensual love making session and a kiss and cuddle afterwards.
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Go for it!! As long as at the end of the day, both of you are not expecting more than the release of body fluids..no future plans..no illusions..hallucinations or whatever..just go for the physical satisfaction of it..but you are not allowed to fall in love, not allowed to have future plans together..not allowed to even dream of ever after..just purely physical..can you take that???as long as you don't use your emotions, as long as you don't get tired of the situation..go for it..
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woulod youpee in your own garden ? If not DO NOT HAVE OFFICE AFAIR unless youa looking for drama and gossip
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you should enjoy but keep it under control. Make it clear to your buddy that there are no strings attached.These things can turn into serious drama if feelings are hurt.You should be able to step back anytime you choose without either of you feeling bad or guilty about it.Maybe ask yourself how you would feel if he started seeing someone else in the office??? or vice versa ? if its just sex keep it that way otherwise it could make things very uncomfortable for both of you esp at work.
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Nemisis, I know what i can get so i dont expect a sunny life from him! I might be stupid but i m not naive.
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You're naive to think an affair with an attached colleagues isn't going to have consequences
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I have never cheated. Can't say that I never will but I'd like to think not.
Don't know if I've been cheated on, not sure I'd want to know. If I did find a partner was cheating, I'd leave (after much shouting and smashing of prized posessions).
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evohe
19 yrs ago
1 - What both of you are doing is immoral.
2 - It is not very smart, because it will be known. Up to you to analyse what could be the concequences.
Now, why do you need to ask such a question. The point is you enjoy it and even more because you are touching a forbidden fruit. You may think it is cool, but really it is only selfish and immoral. Frankly, your sexual adventure are common and uninteresting. No point to share it with us, really. As statistic have shown us, you are not the only one. Nothing new under the sun.
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iwantfun - Very happy for you.
I hope someday you find that special someone for you who will love you just as you are and marry you and make you happy. And we will also be very happy for that woman who will give your husband the same pleasure that you are unselfishly giving your married office mate. We hope you will be as supportive of her as some of are of you. Best wishes for the future!
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Thanks for all your nice inputs. I know what to do and just wish to meet a nice single man now! ;)
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sw0rd
19 yrs ago
Well, maybe its time to get off, after all you had all the fun. If you guys look awkward, then I suggest that you change a new working environment. Go get your prince charming, I'm sure he's out there. If you can't find him, you can always come look for me. I might be that single nice man that you're looking for.
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Nemesis: Love the Erich Fromm Quote! It got me thinking, thanks!
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Hey you charming ppl out there. What happened to trust? In mandarin culture we believe in "tao", and you gonna be sorry one day. After all this fun, there have to be someone sad out there.
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Aijin, I am gonna go and get that book! ;)
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