Well...we met couple of years before because of business. We dated and spend some great time together until we had a serious argument a year ago.
That's all about because I'm not his girlfriend, but I knew too much about him.
Afterward everytime he came to HK, we couldn't help and stuck in that situation again and again...obviously he's cooling down on me, I know..
And about his coming trip in Feb...I was a bit exciting before, because we didnt see each other for 5 months already, and wondering maybe this time we could be get back to the way we were...But now I know that's not gonna happen.
A girl who's been with him before I showed up...she's coming to meet him from Mongolia...They didn't get back together after he's been with me....but after we've been in that cold war becos of the aruement...he contacted her again...and finally they met in Shenzhen.
I'm not seeking any hope from this guy..honestly I'm hopeless to him. Because I could never been a girl he'll treat me as the serious one. I just don't wanna get hurt again...I thought i'll be fine even we meet again in the office. But when I knew about that Mongolian girl is coming to HK...I'm still feeling hurt...
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Sorry to sound harsh, but get over it. This situation is probably why ppl come up with phrases like "Don't eat and sh*t in the same place" as in, don't get involved with ppl you work with. You already know the score, or at least you say you do, but even tho you say you don't have any hope for him, you actually do, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here or feeling hurt. He's not good enough for you, he's not treating you right, therefore, why are you pining over him?
He's already got another girl, move on. If you don't, you're basically saying he can cheat on you, treat you with disrespect and you'll still come crawling back. Puh-lease! Find your self-respect and dignity and cut all contact with this guy. If you see him at work, just say hi and be professional and leave it at that.
Rules to live by, from the book "He's just not that into you"...set yourself some standards!!!
I will not go out with a man who hasn’t asked me out first.
I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
I will not date a man who isn’t sure he wants to date me.
I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
I will not be with a man who’s afraid to talk about our future.
I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
I will not date a man who is married.
I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.
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Actually I read that book before!! How could I miss those rules!? especially..
*I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.*
*I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.*
I should always remind myself about these 2!!!
Anyway, thanks for anything, kaileyb ;) somehow I feel like a jerks magnetic...always meet guys like that..awww
u know...I've think about to leave town during the girl stays here...around the middle of Feb...that's exactly my birthday...maybe I just don't want to face the truth and have a sad b-day..
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Ppl treat you the way you allow them to treat you, so don't allow this guy or any other guy to disrespect you! And running away is not the answer. Stop trying to find out information about this guy and esp about this girl from Mongolia, let it go. You'll only upset yourself and it won't accomplish anything. If you're going to be out of town, plan a fun trip with your friends instead of looking at it as an "escape" from that girl. Or stay in town and plan something fantastic to do with your own friends, have a great bday and forget about the jerk! You deserve it!!!
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Firstly, this isn't about me, it's about the OP. Secondly, this isn't about "rules", it's about being treated with respect. And this guy in question can't possilby be "everything you ever wanted" because he doesn't want her and isn't treating treating her with respect. If she merely wanted a booty call, then fine, but she's not and is being hurt in this situation, so your questions are moot.
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Too right you're not a woman, cos otherwise you wouldn't ask such a stupid question and not even realise you're contradicting yourself in your post. Plus, I didn't come up with these rules, if you read my post properly, they're from a book.
You're asking what if this guy is everything you ever wanted, as in everything you ever wanted in a man for a RELATIONSHIP...but then you ask if one should answer his booty call if "a) you weren't getting any and b) all the other available guys weren't up to scratch?" The OP isn't looking to scratch an itch...she was hoping for a relationship with this guy. So how can he be "everything you ever wanted" when he's giving you a booty call??? He can be friggin prince charming, but if he doesn't want her and has another girl, then he's not what she's always wanted because he doesn't want her. It's not rocket science.
You'd chuck the rule book out cos you want to get laid, the OP is not talking about just getting sex. And if she was, I'm sure she could go out and find someone new instead of going back to this loser.
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Well well, don't we just fancy ourselves as a witty and oh-so-clever not to mention oh-so-sarcastic comedian?
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Let me just say again that you question is a stupid one and this is why. If I was answering a booty call, I wouldn't care about any of those "rules", cos I'd lay him and forget about him, simple as that. I wouldn't care that he didn't call, I wouldn't care if he slept with other women (as long as we were safe), I wouldn't care whether or not he wanted to discuss the future (maybe if he was really good in bed, I might want to line up one more tryst), etc etc.
So when you ask if I would go back to the same guy that's rejected me, as in the OP's case, just for a booty call even if a) you weren't getting any (ever heard of DIY??) or b) all the other available guys weren't up to scratch (even tho there is a male shortage in HK, if I'm only after sex, then I'm sure I'll be able to find one that will do)...the short answer is, no I wouldn't, rules or no rules. Because if it was only a booty call, I wouldn't give the loser the satisfaction of getting me in bed again when he's treated me so poorly out of it.
And this might come as a surprise to you, sex is not the be all and end all of one's existence (although an important element).
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Thx gill2008 & flashback...I can't believe I'm debating the same topic with this guy on 2 separate posts. How hard is it to understand? As a woman, if you want to be with a guy who loves you, treats you well and with respect, then you need to set some standards. Stop chasing after guys that send mixed signals, the ones who say they'll call and then they don't, the ones who cheat on you and then profess how big a mistake they made and how much they "love" you, the married men who shower you with attention, while their wife is with the kids at home; the selfish jerks who only care about themselves. That's all "the rules" are for, to keep women reminding themselves that they are worth more than having to put up with guys who don't treat them right.
I say if you follow the rules, you are putting yourself first and getting rid of a guy who's not totally into you, instead of wasting time on him. And if that means he's out there and nabbed by some other woman, good luck to her!
LGIMV you probably think it's nonsense cos you know you're one of those guys that would be ditched quick smart if the rules were followed! HA!
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The question is why you bothered to get into a debate with LGIMV in the first place, kileyb.
I don't check in here often but based on his posts that I have read, I get the impression that he's a guy with his own agenda--a married man who welcomes/ pursues female attention and possibly more and who doesn't hestitate to justify his actions--and will challenge anyone who disapproves men who like to play.
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oh well - i really don't see why the relationship would work in the first place. It seems you guys just spent some good time together. It is absolutely natural that woman feels more in this kind of relationship, but for him, he probably likes you enough that he wants to see you, to keep you around, but not enough for love to happen, i.e. he's determined that you would not be his girlfriend. Better move on...
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P.S. Midnightlady, you don't need to do anything - just work, live, date, eat, drink, sleep, party as you like. Don't let others to disrupt your life. Be yourself and be confident, and these jerks will stay away from you, but I can not judge if they are really jerks. Good luck. : )
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Thanks a lot Solo con te ;)
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have some self respect girl! no one will respect you if you do not respect yourself. If you are not respected by no means you are/will be loved!!!
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