Problem with my husband ex

My husband had de facto relationship with this woman for 5 years & Got "divorce" 8 years ago. They have 2 kids, boy & girl. The boy has been living with my husband since they got divorce & the girl for bout 5 years (till now). and we've been married since January 2010 and have 5 months old baby. At the moment we live in HK and she's in another country.


It's been up and down relationship between her & us, specially with kids. Short story, since January this year, she starts

sending me email, by Facebook, saying that I'm bitch, that she will kill me if kids keep calling me

mommy, and loads more bad things. The most crazy part when she made fake Facebook profile using my pic stating that I'm a prostitute. Something like " richat the prostitute". it doesn't stop there, she added some of my friends, colleagues and family. totally embarrassing. How do I know it's her? She put her email address there (she's crazy but not smart).

I really don't know what to do now...should I get lawyer advice for this? I have deleted some of her emails and the rest I did print screen (it's my husband idea). Meanwhile I keep my Facebook more private.

Contact Facebook and say that your identity has been hijacked. Give them all the details. They deal with this sort of behaviour all the time.

Additinally.


Don't retaliate, it will only make things worse and feed her problem. Just try to manage out the effects on your life.


If things do get worse, then it is the time to consider the police or courts of law. If you have not retaliated you can have a clear conscience that you did not make things worse. This will also help if you do have to use the law.


Keep a record of everything she says/does and your responses. This will help a lot if you do need to involve the law.

An after-thought. If you are not their 'mommy', and it is causing problems, you should discourage the kids from calling you 'mommy'.


This could be the root of the problem. Deal with this and other problems may also reduce.

Riechat,


The best thing for you to do is to keep records of everything that she has done until now (and the future). There is no point to try and confront her or antagonize her with replying or reacting to whatever she has done.... She is the mother of two of your kids and will always have to be a part of your life.


Yes, some people take things to the extreme and this woman sounds like she will take the same path if she is prodded. Anyways, she is in another country and cannot really harm you at the moment.


Report her 'identity theft' to facebook and they will cancel the account....solved! Your in HK and miles away from this lady, which provides you with security and the ability to ignore her completely. You should give the kids as much love and attention, don't try and sway the kids and involve them in your dispute.... let her say all she wants about you to them but if you treat the kids with love and respect, they will know the real you and not believe another's words and lies.


btw, which country is she located in? it is illegal in certain countries to take someone's identity on the internet and you could take her to court....criminal court is a possibility but civil court is a definite option. (future option if this gets out of hand).


I agree mostly with Tigerbay, there is no point in pushing this because it only spells 'disaster' for you AND your family. Remember, love is powerful and if you shower your kids with this than it can repel the worst 'personal' attacks that someone can muster.


One area that I disagree with Tiger, You are in custody of the kids and are raising them (hopefully like your own). You may have not actually given birth to them but you are definitely doing the most important part of being a mother to them. I think it is fine that they call you 'mommy' (at that age, are they supposed to call you by your first name?)....I think you should take the time out and explain to them that you love them and there is no difference in your heart between them and your youngest. However, they are lucky enough to have 1 'mommy' and 1 'mother'...explain to them that the other lady gave birth and is their 'mother' (don't bad mouth her....show her respect, even though she isn't showing it to you, and eventually she will realize that you are not a "problem" in this situation but you could be part of the solution). The other lady is definitely hurt and vengeful at this point in time but if you are being reasonable and raising her kids well, she will eventually come around....


otherwise.... it's gonna be ugly.

Thx loads for your reply (and advice) tigerbay & silverback.

Greatally


the case above was not that she was insulted on FB. But somebody created an account in her name. That is identity theft. FB does act.

tigerbay is correct. i had someone make a fake facebook account in my name. it took their admin. around 24 hours to take down the page and apologize.

Maybe your husband should get involved a little bit more and tell her to stop all this. He is the father, your husband, and she is bothering your all family. How does he feel about it ?

My husband always protect me from her coz she blames me for everything. like, why no one pick up the house phone, why kids still playing outside, why her son didnt have hair cut, why my husband gave lil money for her when kids visit her and she always threatening us. she said will kidnap the kids when kids visit her, she will kill my family....but this time, I'm the one who get thesh*ts. My husband wants to confront her, but I'm scared that she won't sign some papers that we need. She did refuse to sign the custody paper before. We still need her signature and she knows how to use it. 


In her country, it's against the law if you insulting someone on the net or make fake profile. I can sue her but second thought, I'm not gonna do it. For the sake of the kids. Well, I love my family and i think I know what should I do now. Thanks again for your advice. 


Oh btw, the profile finally gone but the annoying irritating emails still on. The last email was bout her sex life with my husband when they're still together (yes, I did necessary things sothat I won't receive her email again)