Posted by
Perplexed
16 yrs ago
I work in a place where my colleagues (in a related but not subordinated department) are shutting me out. On the surface, they respond to / relate to me strictly on work queries but otherwise, ignore me. I've tried to make effort but to no avail. The latest is a farewell lunch I've organized for one of my staff that's leaving. All have declined attendance (all emails came seconds within each other).
This started pretty much when I joined. My boss recruited me on the basis that I would head the department - but unknown to me, told the related department otherwise. So when I started from a position of authority, they shut me out. It is only months later that I learnt the "wrong information" conveyed by my boss. My boss then hired someone to work under me (or so he said to me) but shortly thereafter, changed things so that the new hire had same title as me, and reported directly to my boss. That aggravated my isolation... and caused some "mockery".
More recently, the new hire and my boss have both been let go from the company, but my situation with my colleagues is not improving. The latest "attack" by collectively turning down the lunch reiterates that.
I would like to change that situation around and could really use some guidance on how to break down that wall and establish good relations.
Help!!
Thanks.
Please support our advertisers:
cym
16 yrs ago
Hi u should just go n question one of them who seems a lil open privately and ask whats going on?? Just break the ice, as now your boss who caused you the confusion n the new hire are both gone. Its obviuos they are ganging up against you and you dont know what you have done? Maybe play down n be a lil relaxed and friendly to them . Just open up and question it to someone so that the message goes around.Tht your not so rigid and bad as they make you feel. ur only human ! i think its awful child like behaviour on their parts.Come on its a work place not school !! take care and stick in there..behind a cloud is always a silver lining :)
Please support our advertisers:
I would look around for a new job.
Please support our advertisers:
FKKC
16 yrs ago
Guess from what you wrote, you are now their immediate boss. For me, I would hold a meeting with these people and talked about work and how you like it done professionally. Don't act superior but show them your skill and once they look up to you (work-wise) things will change. Respect and trust and even friendship will tack along but it will be a long & difficult road for you as you went in at a wrong time when the first boss mess things up for you.
Nobody likes to work in an unfriendly atmosphere as all colleagues had to face one another (each other) practically the whole day - more than with their own family - so with patience and some technique on your part, the tension has to break/melt for some of your staff and they may tell you what happened or what went wrong and you can go from there.
Or else hold the meeting and lay everything on the table and ask (for me if I do it this way, I'll DEMAND) for answers and maybe....just maybe....the ice will break and then you can go from there.
Please support our advertisers:
FKKC
16 yrs ago
There are cases when people are called to gang up on someone - some are unwilling/some neutral but since they didn't know you so their best bet is not to be left out so they figured it would be better to stay with the crowd. When they realized they had make the wrong choice, they don't know how to get off 'the wagon' so the speak. The local people are quite passive therefore don't take it personally and show them your sincerity by trying to create a good team. It will be hard work on your part but if you value & like your job, the out-turn will be worth it.
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks. Problem is that they're not my staff. They're in a related department which reports to the same head but they don't report to me. So, I don't work too much with them. Hence the "calling a meeting idea" while good, is not feasibe. I agree that some are unwittingly locked into the situation as they seem nice on their own. But if they don't go with the "gang", they feel left out. How do I deal with this? My attempts to get one on one lunch with them is also not meeting with success because of the "gang" pressure. I bring goodies back for all when I travel, say my good mornings with a smile...butit's meeting with a fake wall...
Please support our advertisers:
FKKC
16 yrs ago
In that case, just concentrate on your work and stop trying so hard to please - otherwise, you will be stress out and it's not doing you any good. Be your natural self and hopfully, things will turn better.
Please support our advertisers:
When my wife graduated from pharmacy college in Thailand, her first posting was to a very small hospital near the border with Myanmar. She was the only pharmacist there and so became the acting head of the pharmacy department. That put her in charge of a couple pharmacy technicians who were a bit older and had been there for a few years. They resented her presence as she attempted to get things organised her way, and they made life quite difficult.
She finally sat them down and gave them a good dressing down, lambasting them for their behaviour and telling them they were all their to do a job and they had to work together and other words to that effect. That did it for her; they realised how unprofessional they had been and gained respect for her. She never had any further problems and they all worked together quite well for the remainder of her posting.
I know this isn't precisely your situation, since these people do not work for you. I would suggest, in your case, to talk to your boss, who is, I believe you said, also their boss's boss. He should be the one to send the message down the line that their behaviour is unprofessional and must stop. If he is unwilling to see the problem and take decisive action, look for a new job; that company is not worth working for.
Please support our advertisers:
I have seen this happen when the same job/promotion is promised to 3 people. The local management (Shanghainese) thought it would create productive conflict. And all parties would work harder to get the post. Problem is that once the post is let people lose face.
If you are an expat you may be viewed by locals as only a temporary fixture. In the West we say 'its' not what you do its the way that you do it'. I am not sure about HK but in Shanghai it is 'not what you do, but who asked you do it' and this affects when/how/if it gets done. So it there is nothing in it for them, why should they bother? This is the mentalit you could be facing. If this is the case, then there is no benefit to them in doing anything for you.
If there is something else, once they have decided to cut you dead there is nothing you can do. It may help to think about the relationships that you can benefit from, and those who can benefit from you, especially where there is a 2 way street. Concentrate on building these relationships
If the current status quo is not affecting your ability to work then there is no problem really. Stop trying so hard and it will be harder to loose face.
If it is stopping you working effectively then think about moving on.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail