Posted by
Fabio
18 yrs ago
Dear chat noir - most men are attracted to younger women, and most men have insecurities. We don't need to wait until mid-40 to have "Mid-life crisis". So many opportunities to have different types of crises any other time - not to mention before/during/after divorce etc! Anyway why do ask - are you considering entering in to a relationship with 40s man?
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Fabio
18 yrs ago
Dear chat noir
Your observations are I must say, remarkably accurate, even if based on your own exp.
I think in terms of your point (5)- trying to "save" the younger lady from future hurt might be that due to male 40+ own insecurities - that the younger lady will be attracted to one closer her age "when she gets to my age" ie when lady now 30 is 45, I will be close to 60. Another complication re your (1) (2) (3) is if there are child(ren) from previous marriage.
Often (NOT always!) a "younger" lady may have issues dealing with those relationships that are inevitably part of the relationship with SOME 40+ man, just like it would be if you married one, you also become part of the extended family. Oh what joy that could/could not be.
Ultimately, life is there for us to enjoy and to keep learning along the way.
Hope we can continue to learn and enjoy also.
All the best to you & keep smiling......
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..."I guess when a gal approach u, ur doom one way or the other if u do not get into a commited relationship with them"
Aspect--
I think this is a myopic and an absolutely preposterous assumption. Do you honestly believe what you just wrote??
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Fabio
18 yrs ago
Dear chat noir
I guess if attracted to particular qualities based on life experiences then a 40+ person that has been married, parented children, divorced, other major life events etc, would be more "mature" than 40+ that eg. still lives with parents.
So if that is the case, you may find you keep bearing the brunt of some negative experiences of the "mature" person as essentially those experiences contribute to make that person what they have evolved into at the 40+ stage of their lives.
Similarly, that same "mature" person would have - lets say - what appears to you and you other 29-30 year old friends, to be an unfair advantage in the experience stakes, hence making you feel vulnerable to further hurt.
Never mind, it works both ways. 40+ men feel vulnerable as well but for so many other reasons.
You should focus on what you want and empathise with others whatever age-group and not get frustrated if there is no permanent successful union between you & your desired other.
Take care and take it easy, there is still plenty of life ahead.
All the best to you.
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There is another, unpopular, explanation for the "male mid-life crisis" -- "dump the harpy while you still have some vestige of your looks, and go and have fun for a change". Some see "mid-life crisis" as a sign of immaturity -- others as simply the scales falling from the poor bugger's eyes.
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"i would rather to be used as sex object and move on from the obvious bastard"
yep...i agree with you... at least we know where we stand. and we have the option to choose. whether we want to ride along or not.
Men just dont get this!! correct me if i'm wrong.
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Then there's the wh***s who target men who are obviously in crisis mode. For example the one who (used to?) hang out with the "Bulldogs Quiz crowd", moving on from one gweilo to the next. Only the next was a married man in crisis. She shagged him, then blackmailed him into keeping on seeing her for fear she would tell the wife all. She kept on coming back, even threatening to kill herslef if he didn't keep seeing her, harrassing him and his wife till she succeeded in breaking up his marriage. The man tried breaking it off, leaving his good job, selling his home and leaving HK to try and reconcile with his wife, while trying to get her to go away quietly. She wouldn't. She eventually told the wife everything, including a few vengeful lies. Sadly, the wife divorced him and the "wh*** of the century" (which is what she calls herslef) still didn't get the guy.
The guy is an ass. The wife finally wised up. The wh*** has no doubt moved on to the next dumb gweilo who will be flattered that a local gal will shag him for free, will put up with her whining till he sees thru her manipulations.
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