Is He Just Not That Into Me?



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by Heartbroken 19 yrs ago
Hi all,


I've been chatting with a guy that I've met about 4 months ago. Everything went smoothly (we were smitten with each other) until recently. He has stopped talking or emailing me (we both live in different countries) and I don't know why. I did not email him as it seems like he doesn't care anymore. I don't want to ask him so blantantly because I don't want him to think that I am totally into him. What do you think?

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COMMENTS
Matho 19 yrs ago
When you say 'met him about 4 months ago' do you mean physically or via the internet?



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Heartbroken 19 yrs ago
Via the internet. I know what some might say, "how do you know is love if it's only over the internet". Well, once you have this sort of relationship, there are feelings invloved.

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voiceofreason 19 yrs ago
sorry, he is just not that into you. move on, read the book, and hopefully you'll see proof of a lasting relationship next time, if that's what you want.

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lulu 19 yrs ago
I just read the book "He just not into you" on this chapter about man's vapourising. Anyway this all sound a bit negative but somehow prepare for the worst. Send him an email to find out if nothing comes back, move on. You have not met him anyway...


Talk about sad stories or vapourising, i tell you one from mine experience. I talk to a guy in England, he was in an army. The day we started to chat, he email me everyday and say hi, call me few times a week from his mobile. Even when he was training in the fields he wrote me letter cos there is no internet, romantic huh. While i was travelling, her also call me or leave a message for me....how sweet. He told me his mobile bill is about 300 pounds a month. OK, it goes on for about 4 months, finally that i will go to England during the summer (my brother lives there) and we can finally meet up! He say he will drive down to meet me for a weekend! So exciting, we still call and chat, and i finally arrived! I call him when i arrived in the morning, he sound a bit werid..he station in Yorkshire and he say he will drive down to london to meet me after hours, about 8 pm...he say he will call me when he arrived. but then... what happen?


Of course, not a sign...i waited for the whole night and nothing, and every other day. I dare not to call him cos i so scare of the truth the phone will not be answer...then he just gone, 100% vaporuised. I email him have no answer, i forward cards to him, not even "pick up". I call the phone, it was engaged. I am not sure why....never heard from him again...hurt? yes it still hurt...but lucky i never met him. If i met him, fall in love and then he vapourised, i might feel even worst.


This was 5 years ago now and i still remember this incident, it was sad but sh*t happens and you never know the reason.


Be strong, you are not alone.




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tia 19 yrs ago
I too agree with Bear. You don't know what could have happened and a short email to just say "HI, how are you and what's up" would put an end to the worrying you have.


I have chatted with a few people over the years via internet and had them more or less disappear after a few months of chatting. No biggie. This happens. If it was someone I enjoyed chatting with, then I would send them a note and know one way or the other.


And yes, internet relationships can be very real and full of emotion. Just be careful as SOME MEN/WOMEN on the net are HUGE frauds.

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crackers 19 yrs ago
Hi Lulu, I also had a similar experience with an English Guy.


Heartbroken, time to move on! Voiceofreason is right.

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flabbergasted 19 yrs ago
I would say he was probably attached, and without being unfaitful this is what he was doing...after all...some people say that not touching is keeping loyal and honest to your partner.


HOWEVER it also could be that he just simply got scared.


But it is the internet. People with real life contact just stop emailing or phoning each other. It is not unusual.

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rats 19 yrs ago
I argree with The Bear as well. Dig out what is going on instead of freaking yourself by thinking negatively.

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lammasita 19 yrs ago
I think it could also be a case of using that old adage 'out of sight, out of mind'.

It is very hard to sustain a non-verbal, non-visual relationship over more than a few months...

Just try to see that time has worked it's magic and is already taking the pain and hurt away from the situation.

I think, that once you've sent the email, the rest will fall into place.


Remember nothing ventured, nothing gained....


Good luck and perhaps take a stock of what's going on around you and in the world etc.

You will see this problem seems insignificant in comparison.

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lulu 19 yrs ago
well solo> it might not be a waste of time, it does work in some cases, but of course there are many failure. Meeting through net, real life, dstance or non distance, might all be the same.


somehow now i think distance relationship is difficult to maintain, so i gave up meeting people from other places, but even in HK is difficult to meet people anyway.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
I have to say, I find the whole idea of carrying on a 'relationship' with someone you've never met very wierd. In fact I would not call it a relationship but an extended chat.


What is wrong with getting off your arse and meeting people face to face? At least you have a better idea of what the person is like.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Love handles!!!! Too right Nemesis, can't stand skinny blokes, lol!


To be fair, some of the posters on Wimmins shouldn't be allowed to procreate, therefore imaginary lovers would be about right!

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Matho 19 yrs ago
Heartbroken? You need to dump that 'handle' to start with and get yourself out of the mysterious depths of falling in love with text on a computer. Get yourself onto a packed train and have fun groping the unsuspecting men.

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voiceofreason 19 yrs ago
may i ask how old you are, sfgal3/heartbroken?

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Sfgal - how can you say it is a good way to meet men. Look at your situation right now.


Instead of hiding behind your computer, get off your backside and into the real world. Meeting people face to face is far more rewarding.

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lulu 19 yrs ago
sfgal3> agree, nothing worst than they give you a hope and then they pull it down.


But i still think you should write to him and see what he say, at least you got some answers.

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doggielover 19 yrs ago
Heartbroken, don't spend time thinking about this person. He doesn't deserve your time. Net-relationship can be very "romantic", yet deceptive. Actually, think twice, you don't even know this person deep enough, and how could you gamble your time to "love" him. Move on with your own life and find someone that treasure you

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flabbergasted 19 yrs ago
real life relationships can be very romantic and very deceptive....


any kind of relationship may be deceptive...even business relationships....


and you have heard the expression that you are lucky if you have a handful of TRUE friends in a lifetime...

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