Posted by
markbrewer
13 yrs ago
Can anyone suggest please what the "normal" expectations are for the father visiting his children in Hong Kong when father and mother are no longer together? How many times during the week is considered "normal" and how much time over the weekends? Thank you.
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Well, I think to ask time on the weekend would be "normal" depending on what their extra curricular activity schedule is like. You can even offer not to disrupt their planned lessons or whatever, take them to it and then get the rest of the time with them.
The week, hmmm, I guess, you have to consider that they got to go to school etc, so you don't want to disrupt things too much, so maybe if you can sort their lunches out and their uniforms and you want to go out of your way like that, then do, but otherwise, a few dinners during the week, would be good to request.
Depends on how you communicate it to the mother. Remember that she is the primary caregiver, so try not to step on her toes. Hopefully she will see it in the kids best interests to spend time with Daddy just as long as Daddy doesn't try to disrupt the kids routines too much (I say this because my ex was always harping on and on about routines and disruptions, so yeah, good luck and hope your ex is more kid-concerned and believing that spending time with you is a good thing for them, for your sake)
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Come at it like, "If its ok with you, it would be really nice if the kids could spend the weekend, etc, etc, with me..." Not "I want to do this...or that"
Come from a YOU, and not a I. That way, the ball is in her court and she won't feel like you re disrupting her life, you know, waltzing in to holiday parent before waltzing off again.
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