Posted by
sexyboop
14 yrs ago
A girl friend of mine met two guys (Mr. X and Mr. Y) who are friends at a party. X has been asking her out a couple of times within a week and they went along well but slow. Few days later she got an email from Y asking her out too. She politely declined initially but Y still insisted and re-invited, saying just for a casual drink.
As casually told by the girl, Y was previously aware of her datings with X, and X also knew of the email by Y. She is not playing games nor trying to cheat.
Similar situation happened more than once before with other guys who are friends showing interest in the same girl. Even she all through just sticked to one person but still ended up damages in that otherwise long-term and good friendships between the two men. The girl seriously doesn't want to get involved as the centre of the storm ever again.
Why would men do that even they fully understand it's their another friend's target? Isn't it a rule of thumb in dating world that one will stay away if another has already fixed the prey?
And how should my friend deal with the situation now, especially with Y?
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Yes, I wouldn't think that 2 guys who are GOOD friends would do that to each other.
But anyway, it's not the girl's concern about what the men think of each other. From her point of view, she can just try to be as honest as possible - so, when Y asks her out, she says "well you know that I've been dating X". She can still go out with Y. And when she sees X, she should probably also tell X that she went out with Y.
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I does not sound like either man views your friend as anything more than a conquest/prey.
They might even have a bit of competition to see who can get her into bed first. Now that IS a guy thing.
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Yeah either these two guy friends are not as friendly as you may think? Even if I wa desperately after a girl and my friend was pursuing her first, I would leave him to it, despite my feelings.
However, they may be great friends an seeing who can bed your friend first. She should invite both over to her place at the same time. Intentionally not be there and let the two guys meet up outside her front door! Haha
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Of course, there are many examples that a girl is treated as a sexual conquest in the competition game. But would men be willing to pay the price of ruining the male friendship just for fun? I learned in the previous two cases, both relationships were damaged, of which one pair are colleagues working closely; while another pair are also long time friends. None of them could get my friend into bed in the end.
The closeness of the two involved men this time is yet to find out.
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sicn
14 yrs ago
Sometimes worrying about things out of your control can make things unnecessarily more complicated. For your girl friend, all she shall care about is to find the guy she really likes, not so much about the friendship between those two guys. And, I don’t think it is good idea she shares the other party’s dating detail to any of those guys since it will further complicate the situation. All are adults here, and know what they are doing.
Cheers!
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I think as long as she's open about the situation with both X and Y, then it's up to them to sort it out between them. If she's made no commitment, then she has no need to be loyal to either X or Y.
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The guys might be friends now, but once this girl picks one of them, the other is not going to happy, and...there goes the friendship
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Or they may suggest a threesome. Who knows.
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Threesome..........threesome............
Well.................if it works, then the world would have had more peace and less war than it's now. :)
Y seems to be disappearing so the problem is solved now, while how it goes with X is another issue.
Some said it's the girl's fault who unintentionally or deliberately gave both a hope. That might be true but back to the original question: is there an ethic (e.g. first come first served) that men are observing in courting?
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As long as she hasn't given them false hope and led them on, and both men know the situation, then i see no harm. Let her make up her own mind in time.
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